SS moved back in with his mother a while back and it appeared that he was slipping back into the cult. Now in his upper 30s, he has always both craved his mother's approval and struggled with her bizarre beliefs and ridiculously controlling behavior. He has gone all black or all white with us through the years. In the earlier days, I felt badly for him, and at one point we had a good relationship. But then he had to prove where his loyalties lied. I cannot imagine the pressure he went through. 

Just when we would think our relationship with him was getting better or even good, the lightswitch would flip off. We knew where the pressure was coming from: After one visit with us about 10 years ago, SS went home and immediately changed his FB profile picture to him and mommy cheek-to-cheek. He had to prove to her that she was still his #1. I said to DH, "No wonder he can't find a girlfriend--someone is always there in the way." 

Occasionally, SS would talk to us (together and also alone with DH) about what had gone on that had created so much animosity. He would bring up the subject. Then, we later assumed, he would go home, report the conversation to BM (I always envisioned the bare lightbulb swaying from the ceiling over his head) and fall back into the wacky fold, and we wouldn't hear from him. We often saw his behavior radically change toward us (for the worse) once he went back to mommy. The last few times he spent any time with us were pretty unbearable. He was clearly on "the mommy train" even while here. His behavior in our home was awful, and he was doing the "mommy worship" talk so common with his sister. This was a 30-something guy, not a 12-year-old. 

So, yes, he has always struggled, but at some point you act like a big boy and work to discard the demands of Mommy Dearest. We, of course, never expected him to hate her, reject her, or anything like that. We just expected to have a decent relationship with him. Those expectations are long gone.  

Anyway, "Failure to Launch" has been living in his mother's cramped apartment and told DH at one point that he would be moving out, but he would be finding a place near his mother and sister, which shocked us. It is not his kinda town. I thought: Well, she got her claws back in him. But apparently something has happened. I'm envisioning a falling out. SS told DH over the weekend that he is moving 20 hours away. Yes, the pendulum is still swinging. 

SS owns nothing. The poor person he is moving in with (found online) has no idea what they are in for. To put it bluntly, SS is an immature and inconsiderate pig, a coddled baby incapable of putting a dish in a dishwasher. I've witnessed it. He sees a fully furnished apartment at a reasonable price. Hopefully, he can behave himself, be an adult before he hits 40, and make the psychological break from the cult. Do I have faith? Not really. But it's better that it might be happening later than never. . . because that "never" is quickly approaching. 

Meanwhile, my info on who SS is = when someone shows you who they are, believe them.  I'm just thinking this puts him even further away from us, which is fine with me, because I planned on never seeing him again, anyway. Kind of a sad story but, well, we tried.