How did I get here?? How is this possible? Can a person/ human be so evil?  I looked at the heap of broken hair in my hand and felt panic, fear, and anger welt up inside me. My hair is breaking off. Heaps. My floor, pillows, and brushes are covered with hair.  My hair. When I wash my hair, it feels like thin broken spider webs that snap with the touch of it. I looked in the mirror and my breath gets caught up when I look at the few straw strands that barely make a ponytail.  A few weeks ago, it was healthy strong, and glowing. Now... it is bleached, dull, spongy, and stringy and half amount of what it was. 

This is assault. I feel assaulted repeatedly.   A woman's hair is her crown. so how do you physically break another woman?  I can tell you know... you break her crown. What type of person does something like this? 

This is not dead ends. My hair is chemically burned, damaged, and sabotaged from the ends to the roots, (I feel this represents my spirit too) ... How do you ask? HOW does something like this just happen???

The most dangerous emotion or feeling I learned from this nightmare is not hated... it is JEALOUSY and the reason is MONEY. Those two are properly the two biggest reasons for murder in life.

To get back to the question... HOW DID I GET HERE? because How did this happen is easy. "Malicious tampering to cause serious harm" is HOW this happened.  but how did I get here is a 3-year-old story of how I ran over every red flag, ignored every warning sign because of the old lifelong excuse "because I love him" and because of every story he tells me that never happens.  The fairytale I so full heartily wants to believe. I do no longer.  I am living in a nightmare. 

Next year March 2020 will be our 3rd year together which isn’t the appropriate word anyway because we have spent it more apart than together all because of her.  Because of her, I have moved out.  Because of her, I have spent two horrible Christmases, two horrible birthdays, and a very traumatic abusive holiday in Italy which was supposed to be a dream holiday. Because of her, I hated it going to his house which was supposed to be our home for a while.  Because of her, I have been humiliated in public when she had a screaming tantrum in a restaurant while her dad, just ignored it. Because she rummaged through my personal belonging in our room while I am at work and had a screaming crying blowout because I locked the door when money started disappearing – I moved out when even my private bedroom was not sacred or private anymore. Because his excuse was that “It was her safe place when she was a little girl and she always felt safe and welcome in his room when she was scared”. WHAT??

Because of her every present given to me by her dad was an issue and is now spoiled as she demanded to have one too. This includes handbags, earrings, a Kenwood mixer but to name a few.

Because of her I moved back to my own house for my mental health and just to have my private space as she was free to go through my personal belongings every day when we are not at home.  Because of her, we spend lockdown on our own.  Because of her, my Significant other and I have had so many arguments that it has caused so many cracks in our relationship.  He is to blame as his mini wife is always “just a child” she is just a “child “and he does not see her as a malignant vicious grown up but as a little girl. 

This 38-year-old "little girl"...

After I moved out in January (after a hell of a December with her) when she had the massive blow-up when I locked our bedroom to just gain some privacy and to feel safe with my personal belongings.  We broke up and then started seeing each other over weekends.  I kept a few basics at his house. Some toiletries to make the weekend- packing less of an issue. 

Two weeks ago, we went away for a small week holiday and I packed the toiletries at his house.  I have not used the Shampoo and Conditioner which is a very expensive brand because I usually wash my hair in the week at my house. (same brand)

During our holiday I washed my hair 3 times…  my hair looked limp and it was strange. The 3rd time I accidentally got some in my eyes and realized something is VERY WRONG.  This was not just shampoo.  I had to keep it rinsing for a while under the shower for the sting to stop. My eye was bloodshot red and puffy afterward and It was clear that something was very wrong!! My hair became lighter too and so brittle. It is terrible.  

I told him something is very wrong.  He was very angry with me for having “a conspiracy theory”, he even once blamed me that I will do something like this to make HER look bad! He wants to get it tested but to be honest I do not trust him as he will look at the results and still deny what has happened or lie about it.  So it is no use to me.  I am done defending myself as he always blames me for having a problem with his "kids". I have never!! He loves repeating this over the phone and SS27 can hear this.

Two weeks have passed.  I went to see two hairdressers/professionals and my hair is severely chemically damaged/ burned from root to tip. It must grow out. We can cut it short, but it will still be damaged.   It looks like Peroxide and a household cleaner was in my shampoo and conditioner. To have it tested is very expensive and I really don’t need any proof. For me, it is just DONE. The damage is done.  I spoke to a lab technician who told me to put it in the fridge because my shampoo and conditioner is making bubbles and fizzes when you open it.

Do I need any more proof that she wants me gone?? How far will she go? What is next? and sadly her Dad is not enforcing any boundaries to protect me. A lab test will not change it either. My hair is so damaged. It is also more about the act. The intention was to cause damage to cause harm. To make me ugly. 

He only got upset once when he said it could have happened to him. One moment he is angry and upset about what happened (but I think it is to keep my mouth shut) the next it is a conspiracy theory .. while he looks at me with my stringy lightened hair.

He has 4 ADULT children. 4 socially maladapted challenged adults.

SS40 – Jobless, a drug addict – he and his wife are now pregnant. Who will use this baby to cash in more money?  SO pays money to them every month after threats and emotional blackmailing

SD36- alcoholic, who steals from him and his business and who has cost him a business. Manipulative, liar and acts as if she adores me. Gossips about mini-wife and visa-versa.

SD28 – Beautician, biggest trauma in life is that she did not become Miss. SA, his mini wife and hates working.

SS27 – Cerebral palsy - Black sheep of the family.  Has an affair with a married woman with 3 boys, still stays in the house.  Mini- wife hates him. I used to be so protective of him. He felt like my only friend in that family.  I would always stand up for him even if I will get it double afterward from everybody and then this;

What set this in motion?  Apparently, a month ago SS27 recorded an argument that SO and I had over a video call.  Our only arguments are about Mini- wife.  He told all the “kids” that I regularly fight about the kids with their dad and that he has recordings. Which is not true!!! I think he just wanted to feel part of the toxic group and I am the main target.  So he lied. He does that. He makes up stories for attention.

I think this was the catalyst that put the Hair sabotage in order. It was about the same time that SD36 came to visit and I think they (SD28 and SD36) did it together.  This is not a funny prank to me. This is assault. This is very traumatizing seeing yourself with less than half of your hair and having so much hair breaking off daily and I still don’t have the courage to have it cut short.  I am so sad about this.  I have curly hair. It took years to grow this long. I am devastated and the act itself scares me that a grown human being is capable of something so harmful. 

This is ADULTS!!! This is Adult brains.  There is no growing out of it!! This is what it is. The worst is if you take each one of them and ask them what I have done for each of them in a positive way it is long lists. 

They did tell me stories of what they did to the previous Girlfriend and laughed about it.  I always brushed it off with the bad stories they told me about their own dad. It did not end pretty and ended with a police case of assault.  How did I think my story would end differently?

I feel like my hair looks. Tired, damaged, and mistreated. I feel like my hair represents what this relationship has cost me and what I have to show after almost 3 years. 

I feel so sorry for SO as he is very lonely and for some reason, I feel responsible to pack my bags every weekend to visit him which is not working for me anymore as he is not doing ANYTHING or keeping ANY promise to fix the situation.

Talking to her always results in her screaming, crying, big tears (without a runny nose) BIG DRAMA, and then she ignores him and blackmails and threatens him to never see him again.  Then all boundaries go out of the door and I become the horrible witch because "look how upset she is"!!

I will never let him choose, I am just upset that he allowed this to go this far and the reality check of the situation that I am in.  Yes, I do love this man, the nice part, the part who tells me how much he cares, how we have a future, who sometimes really does nice things. But who allows shit like this to happen to somebody that you love? What future is there? None. All I wanted was a relationship with him.  I don't want his money. I don't want any of their 'inheritance".   Why can't we just be? Why all this destruction? Hate? jealousy? lies on lies on lies? 

I have been cut off or excluded on all holiday, Birthday photos and it is so horrible. I am living a life with these people and doing all the effort of organizing it and I am being cut out and ignored or treated like Daddy's whore.  He ignores me blatantly on these occasions too while I run around preparing food etc.  I feel embarrassed. pathetic. I really tried.  I am becoming this apologetic always making excuses defending myself about things that are not true. Constantly.  My reality does not exist anymore. 

I know by now when she was going off about me because he sounds like a parrot. I have heard many conversations on how pathetic he became with me and how controlling I am an blah blah.. in our next argument he will repeat her word for word.  The worst is it is not true. I carry this man in my hands. 

I can’t pack my bags every weekend and I don’t want to anymore now that the SS27 is also lurking around there.

I needed to write this out to read it to see how crazy my situation is. I can’t believe this is my life.  And that it is now in danger.  This stuff could have harmed my eyes.  What is next?

We are not engaged or married as she is the mini- wife and has yelled once "Who is the woman of the house"?? to her Dad. It is embarrassing when we entertain our friends and she just takes over the food that I cooked!

I know I need to end this as it really appears that this whole family is a Narcissistic clan and as I am writing and reading this my SO is a huge part of the problem that will not change. 

Thank you for all your post and comments on this site.  It is sad how wonderful people who just want to be part of a family get treated so dreadfully and evil. 

Bless you.