I'm so happy to have found this forum. My 21yo sd moved in with us almost a year ago. SO made her get a job after a couple of months and pay $50/week rent which she did not like at all and acted like we're stealing her money. Then she just flat out refused to help around the house! At the time I was the only driver (SO is disabled and stepdaughter has issues) so I was driving her to and from work 4 days a week and she never once thanked me for that.

She has these tantrums where she gets mad about something and starts in on how I don't cook enough(I cook 4-5 nights a week) and she's tired of leftovers and I don't clean up enough and she'll go to work and just blatantly lie about us. Telling them *I* make her do all the housework. She is so rude and gets mean. She'll have such a bad attitude and when we have events where we'll want a family picture she's just mean and will refuse to smile, so everyone smiles and she is scowling.

A few weeks ago our only vehicle broke down. This was right after my own 22 year old wrecked her car and moved back home. SO asked to borrow 250 from his daughter and we borrowed 650 from my daughter, and to pay them back they would skip paying rent however many weeks equaled what we borrowed. My stepdaughter had over 300 left AFTER loaning us 250, but told my mother in law and her department at work that we took all her money and that my daughter gave us nothing. She was very aware of how much we got from who and how they would get paid back and what it was for.

Then there's the issue with her refusing to help around the house. I work nights and sleep when I can. So I was going without sleep to accommodate her work schedule and it was getting to be too much so we started having her take lyft to work once a week, then moved to twice. Her refusal to help us got to where I couldn't take it anymore and we made her an offer-in exchange for her not doing housework, she had to get ALL her rides to and from work. She immediately accepted. After a week she ended up having one of her tantrums bc she didn't like how much it was costing to take a Lyft everyday. I said, "YOU chose this. You decided you'd rather get your own rides instead of helping us. This was your choice." She complained about the cost and I just pointed out she's an adult and made this decision. Then went to work and told them that I make her do all the housework and get her own rides to work.

I have another issue which is totally mine, I just would love to vent about this too. My mother in law is in her 60s, is raising 2 of her grandchildren(not ours) and taking care of her disabled husband and driving him an hour each way to chemo several times a month. She lives 15 minutes from me. My stepdaughter will text her to come get her and take her through a drive through when we have leftover night, or to come take her to and from work alot of days(her job is 25 minutes from MIL's house). I feel this is extremely shitty and selfish behavior and I resent that my MIL is babying and catering to my SD. She's been made aware of the lying and tantrums.

And to be clear, my adult child has the same rules, same rent, same requirement of housework and cleaning up after herself, but there's no tantrums or refusal or even complaining. I've never really seen this kind of behavior except reading it on these forums. If it were my bio kid acting this way I wouldn't even let her live here. And they know that and I feel like a hypocrite :/