This is a hard one. They're half siblings so a relationship with each other should be encouraged.

what they have done to you is external to that. 

Youve banned them. That is the price they pay for abusing you. Not being banned from their siblings.

either you go with them (if they don't like that then no one goes) or you let your Dh supervise the visits. 

Without a doubt they'll try and turn them against you and paint you as the problem. Up to you and Dh to counter that.

Of course it's just to rile you up. Wouldn't be genuine. They know it'll pee you off.

I hear what your saying re the DH's. If your not confident in him then I'd not want them to go either. The fact they have disabilities changes the dynamics. I wouldn't let them go either.

You don't need toxic adults undermining your children.  I say they don't go.

Why would you put your children in a situation that will be uncomfortable for them? Surely they would question why you are not there. And who will be taking care of their needs and safety when their own sisters have been blatently cruel in the past?

I am sure your husbnd is heartbroken. But they are his daughters and he allowed this to happen as he raised them. 

when (na!) SDs show a change in attitude and aplogise properly and a few yrs pass by with consistent positive behaviour then thisngs are likely to change Until then they do not call the shots.

Of course you are totally justified in wanting your husband to support you. He is your husband, and last time I checked, a decent husband is supportive of his wife.

I would tell my husband how I feel, and ask him why on earth he would want his children to be around the toxic SD's. Who cares if they are half-siblings, the adult SD's do not sound like nice people. I would never want my kids around abusive people either.

Tell hubby either you and he go with your kids, or your kids don't go at all.

good luck. 

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Be truthful with your bio children and your DH.  Tell them you are not comfortable with them interacting with people that do not have respect for you, thus they are not respecting your DH or children.  Just say "No".  

I always believe in "parenting by example".   I have tried this forever.  My SD57 has had a few melt downs over the years towards me; I ignore her (will never forget), but I do not react to her or respond to her social media.  I believe I am showing respect through example (silence); this includes the way I respond to my DH.  It gives me the winning ticket, when I do not bring myself down to her level.

I suggest that you teach your children the importance of treating others with respect.  This is the perfect time to begin, with your situation.  Maybe you can teach your DH as well, by stepping in now and setting boundaries.  This is exactly why I am here on this site, to learn to take control of my own life. 

Good for you and good luck.  (((hugs))) 

My boys are 13 and 15. They have no contact with their step siblings. SD has major psychological issues (non medicated bipolar and SI). When she left our home she told outrageous lies about our family. The boys were told that when they reach adulthood, it will be their decision about contact.

DH has recently reconnected with her. I remain disengaged.

The rest is just whinney bullshit from the toxic half of your DH's gene pool. 

Rather than lament not having all of his kids together, why doesn't your DH jerk a knot in the tails of his two elder and toxic crotch droppings and focus on a quality relationship with the younger ones who have a chance of avoiding the crap that his elder children represent?

Time to drive some clarity into the skulls of  your toxic adult Skids. They "want" a relationship with YOUR children yet they have shit all over you.  So now they have an empty hand of want and another hand full of the shit they have perpetrated. 

Let t hem bitch, moan and whine but do not let them off of the hook for their toxic years of crap.

I wouldn't if I were  you.

Your DH needs some similar clarity that if he wallows in the crap with his pig spawn he will smell just like them.

As for your kids attenting your IL clan events.... not without you. Your SD's and the rest of your IL clan need to understand clearly that you will attend every event that your children attend and will confront and shred any toxic crap anyone tries to sling at those events.  One of two things are most likely to happen.... there will be fewer and fewer events.... or they will keep their BS under the slime covered rock they inhabbit at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool when you are present.

Either way..... is a win IMHO.

Your kids are fortunate to have you and to not share the entire gene pool that their elder .5 sibs represent.

Take care of you and take care of  your kids.  Shred the toxic Skids et al.

Good luck.

You don't have to let your minor children be around people who HAVE ABUSED YOU, what so they can fill their heads with lies about you? If they ask why/why not, you can explain it to them in age-appropriate terms. And DH's "right" to have all his children together was rescinded when he didn't step up and protect you and stand up for you against these nasty people. They think they can jerk you around and have your kids around them when they want? No way.

As long as your children are minors, I think it is totally reasonable to not allow them to go to gatherings to which you are not invited because their disrespectful half-siblings don't want you there.  Since your DH doesn't stick up for you, I wouldn't trust him to have the children there alone and prevent the SDs from bad-mouthing you or otherwise using your kids for their toxic purposes.  It sounds like you are invited and you do attend other family functions with the children, so it's not like you're keeping them from DH's family.

your kids would not want to go anywhere there Mother was not invited.  

"This is hurting my husband as he wants all his kids together .." 

Then DH needs to reign his adult kids in and put a stop to the abuse. He need to tell SD's that abuse to anyone in his family will not be tolerated. The reason they're this way is because he's allowed it for so long.  It's an unfortunate situation but since the children are minors I would not allow it either until the behaviors improve.