I detest my adult SS like many of you here. I'm sure SS dislikes me too, and my DH is aware of the feelings all around. When DH and I met I made the mistake most of us do, trying to gain my adult skids acceptance. It didn't take long to figure out that two of my skids had no qualms about continually using & disrespecting me. I found this site last year & it has made a world of difference. I disengaged & am loving it. SS and I now only murmur casual greetings & are not rude to each other, but do not try and make conversation either. It works for both of us. But every once in awhile my DH will 'test the waters.' DH will ask me to do something for SS, usually just a small favor, or want me to spend unnecessary time around SS. This time DH asked me if I would borrow something from one of my family members for SS. It's like DHs passively aggressively asking me - are you ready to love my kid again? Um no, no I am not. Nor will I ever be. Been there, done that, finally learned my lesson. It was a simple favor that I would have done for any other friend or family member. But this kid has burned me so many times before, I have excused myself of ever doing anything for him again. Nor would I ever involve my family in his disrespect, who knows when SS would return the item or what condition it would be in! I took the easy way out & simply told DH that my family member didn't have what SS wanted to borrow. I'm sure DH knew that I was lying, but he avoids the confrontation. Does anyone else's DH test the waters every so often? If so, do you simply avoid the situation like I did, or do you confront it head on and remind DH that you aren't do anything for skids?