Daddy ATM - just venting
I am so sick of ATM daddy! Skid22 did not pay his car insurance for May due on the 15th which comes out of our account. On the19th of May DH was bringing Skid his tax return cheque that gets delivered to our address for $224 and I as nice as I could said "here you go and since he has money now he can transfer his car insurance funds to us($180). DH defensively says "sure" and almost rolls his eyes at my request.
Sure enough no funds are transferred. Skid gets paid again on the 30th and still no insurance money.
Then tonight he has to text daddy to borrow money $150. Of course DH will send it.
Right now we are carrying 2 house waiting for one to close not to mention all the moving expenses and getting the new property ready to move in to and the adult kid has the nerve to even ask for money and worse my DH has no balls.
I left and went to the new place to paint by myself because I can't stand the sight in DH right now.
I love him but it makes me sick how he can't parent and teach his kid and say no.
Skid just got a new job and makes $60k a year so I don't think it's unreasonable for him to support himself.
Separate all finances so that
Separate all finances so that whatever DH pays to SS comes out of his pocket only. This really made a difference with my DH. Suddenly he wasn't so generous.
DH used to *loan* ss32 wads
DH used to *loan* ss32 wads of money, like $700 a pop when we first got married. He also *loaned* money to his sister and mother. All the while DH himself was 10k in debt through his banks credit line. As soon as I found out how deep in debt DH was I shut down all his *loans.* Oh how evil I was to even suggest that ss pay back the money loaned to him which was several thousands of dollars. DH had no problem having his mother and sister pay him back, but ss got a chance to work it off instead of actually giving back the money. ss worked a grand total of 2 hours helping DH and *POOF* his debt was forgiven!
When skid was kicked out of
When skid was kicked out of the house we paid first months rent and security deposit. He moved in with a gf less then a year later blew his security deposit and then expected to help again with free security deposit. DH agreed that he should pay the second security deposit back to us and I suggested $50 a month which is more than reasonable but of course it never happen even though DH agreed. It to mention we pay dental, car repairs, and Dh gave my expensive winter tires and rims behind my back, etc. it makes me sick.
To top it all off when my son was in high school he questioned me buying shoes for him, seriously?
Wow, massive double standard
Wow, massive double standard from your DH. Shoes for your son, what an extravagence!
The last week of school my kids needed cash 3x, I didn't have cash on hand so DH gave it to them. The grand total was $96 dollars. DH made a list of the dates and amts he had loaned my kids and put it on my desk. I gave him the money but was still a bit miffed at the huge double standard between his wife (me) and his first family. They get a pass for everything but me, my kids, we have to pay our way and pay back every cent. Living w/cats instead of a prick sure looks appealing sometimes. DH isn't always an ass but when it comes to me and my children needing anything he is very aware of exactly how much of *his* money is being spent.
I would have no problem
I would have no problem asking my son to pay me back if he borrowed money, but the thing is I would have to ask him.
My bio is 20 full time university out of Province, his school is paid for so he doesnt have that expense yet he has manged to save $20k in the bank and has already started contributing to a retirement fund. Plans on buying his first house after school with funds he has saved.
He always lives within his means and manages to save for a future.
Skid expects us to cover his lifestyle. Asks to borrow money with no intention to pay it back. Truly entitled. When he lived with us and worked full time he was suppose to pay rent, never paid a dime. Never had consequences for not following the house rules, etc. the only reason he is on his own because I wa s ready to sell the house and move after the 3rd time he brought drugs into the house which was one of the house rules.
Before we were married and combined finances, skid was leaving in my house rent free, making no contributions at all, lost his wallet with ID and needed funds to get new ID and I lent him $200. 3 paydays later and he did not pay. So before his next payday I reminded him and he was pissed right off. Did not say anything but body language spoke volumes. Payday he came home and walked into my home office and threw the money at me without saying a word and stormed off. Entitled much?
When it's expected and he just does it because he can it makes me sick. Maybe if he laid off the drugs he could afford life.
Oh, I get it. Right down to
Oh, I get it. Right down to the sugary voice. My DH gets sugary with both SD AND SS.
Overheard this piece of a phone conversation between DH and SS. DH said, "Don't worry about it Son, I won't let you drive around in a car that isn't safe."
DH saw me enter the room while he was having this convo. I got the thing I went in there for and left so didn't hear any more--didn't want to and didn't need to. DH hasn't said a word about it since. Don't know if SS needs help with repairs, or tires, or a whole new car. My bet is the new (or new to him) car because DH mentioned that he might postpone some dental work he has planned, which is big bucks.
I intend to say nothing. If it's a smallish expense, DH will just use his own money. No problem. If it's a major expense, he will HAVE to talk to me about it.
Interestingly my bride went
Interestingly my bride went through a phase where she would not collect from her family when we loaned them money. Finally they pissed even her off enough that we solved that problem by not bailing them out. Not a penny... ever... for any reason. Even when our nieces and nephew are hungry.... not a penny.
If you don't loan it, you don't have to collect it.
Pretty simple.
Time to start "loaning" money to your family to give DH some clarity on his Cranio-Rectitis on this issue.