Have 2 ss and a bd 30, 29 and 27. 30 year old just got married. 29 year old is married and has a 3 month old. Daughter is married and has 9 month old.
We have been married since 1993. Dh was only married for 3 years and the kids were 1 and 2 when they divorced. Well stepson got married and was beyond rude to his dad. we have set boundries. Ex has been talking bad about him since day one. Way to much dramma. We thought things were ok, until we were at the wedding. We had the rehersal catered and were down in the church basement,
paying the caterer and making sure the food was in order. Other ss came down and said we were needed upstairs. They did the receiving line and had me next to the brother. Both my dh looked at them like what. The pastor asked and I said I donot understand why I am next to your brother an not My dh. That is when his soon to be wife said, This is a formal wedding. Dh spoke up and said shoudn't I be next to my wife. Soon to be wife said, Blood relatives come first you are not a blood relative you are just a stepmom. She did not have a nice tone either.
Ss said I donot see what the big deal is and they both mumbled a few things. ex said I knew that someone would not be happy about it this way. The pastor said about lighting the candles and ex rolled her eyes, Pastor asked if she has a problems. She had the nerve to say never mind it is too rude to say.
Then they said well whom is walking me down the aisle. Both idiots stood there and did not say anything. You do not know how bad, I felt. The both should be ashammed. Her brother was walking her mom down the aisle.
Well other ss said I will walk both of the mothers down the aisle. Then when the wedding is over I will come back and walk them both back. His mother and I.
I donot think she liked it but he did what was right.
I was so proud that he stood up and showed me the respect, I deserve.
we fiqured we would talk to him after his honeymoon about what was said.
Did not want to bring it up at the wedding.
Well the ex and her sisters started at the church. My sister and D-I-l, heard them trashing dh. We left it all go for the sake of the wedding.
We have set rules and boundries. There has been too much back and forth. D-il said ex has done nothing but trash husband. ss is the same way, if you do not what he want's he will turn on you and stab you in the back
Well to make a long story short, husband talked to ss. dh told him that we will not be put through that again re the aunts. also forgot we gave him money towards the wedding early, that he was to replace. His car broke and he did not have money and could not get a loan. Well his aunt put a nasty post on facebook that we did not help him out for the wedding and we helped him with the car.
He was told different but how would she have know unless he told her. We said we wanted him replace the money as we wanted to help him with the wedding.
When dh told him no more back and forth we will not be going anywhere they are, he said he felt bad but it was not his fault.
Then dh said about the blood relative and just a stepmom. He tryed to deny it was said. Then he said well my mom raised me and if you where upstairs and not downstairs, this would have never happened. You should have been there for me and not setting up the food.
They were late getting started and the caterer came, what were we to do. We came back up. If they would have came on time, it would not have happened either. They was 10 minutes late as they were dropping cookies off at the hall. The cookies could have been dropped off after the rehersal. while they had the talk,
He said that my mom raised me. I lived with my mom. He said that twice. You have never been there for me etc. We both have done alot for him. Spent time with him, gone to his football and hockey games, Gave them money, an older car we had etc. There is no excuse for his behavior. He has always been like, this and we do not think he will change. All we both expect is respect. Their mother told other ss, that he has to choose side. It is either her or your dad. other ss said, I can have a relationship with both that is crazy.
She has been asking him have you talked to you dad, what did he say? Other ss said, I am not going to answer that. We both have had enough, i do not think he will ever grow up and have an adult relationship with his dad. We are doing the tough love and the ball is in his court.