This is my first post to this website, so I hope I can make some sense of my issue. I married a man with two children, now 26 and 24, we have been married about 3 years now. From the very beginning, while he adored me when it was he and I, his children always came out on top, such as the family cruise he and his family went on that I was not invited to go on although the SD could invite her boyfriend (we were engaged at the time), or waiting to put his house on the market to put a roof over the SD's head while she decided to finish school (we were married and came back from our honeymoon to go to our separate homes), and I bit my tongue for awhile, but am feeling our marriage may not work out for me since he seems to bail them both out of financial problems (overspending, not budgeting monthly, etc.) and he does it behind my back and then I find out later what has been done by viewing the accounts we have. Ughh! To add to this, I have always been treated as an outsider when it comes to the SK's and his family. He and their mother divorced (she wanted it) after 25 years of marriage, and he asked me out soon after so family assumed I broke up the marriage and the comments I have received from his mother were nasty and I bit my lip. His ex wife even told family she knew he had been screwing around on her (there is no truth to this at all) and I believe she was upset he found someone else so soon (we worked together).

There has been many other attacks on me and my character which were not warranted. I have always been civil and respectful to these people and have thrown many birthday and holiday parties for them, only to have them come to my birthday party acting like they were at a funeral. That happened once and I declined any more birthday parties with them for me. His sister would host family gatherings at her place and we would not be invited, however, if we had a get together, my MIL would invite her and her 3 kids...without even asking us! And now that I am finding more money is being slid under the table to my SK's and now he is getting into co-signing loans, I am really thinking this marriage may not be for me. And, I get no thank-yous from them for the money. I spent my young adult life learning how to handle and budget my own money, never once would I have asked my parents to give me money, there were times I would have $5 to last me a week!!

My husband knows it upsets me when he does this and continues to do these things and hide it from me. When I find out, I don't want anything to do with him....I'm at a loss. He always apologizes but why does he continue to do this? I have always felt I don't exist when it comes to his kids and family. No one was excited when we got married, a sister and SIL would not attend our wedding because of the ex wife...I could go on and on. He is a nice man, hardworking and pays my bills, but this isn't cutting it. Has anyone had a similar experience and how did you handle it? Thanks.