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Adult sd moved bk to town HELP!!!

Liz hill's picture

Submitted by Liz hill on Mon, 07/01/2019 - 5:52am

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Adult Stepchildren

Hi disengaged from sd 2 years ago and with so blessing gave banned her from our home. So free to see her just not in our home. He's sick of her too

Long story short found out tonight sd moved bk to our town as another family member kicked her out as sick of her evil ways too. My ss who is lovely has taken her in as she has no where else to go. He didn't want to but feels guilty. She has no job has had her kids taken off her and only allowed supervised access. She is now trying to be best friends with our kids online etc. She will settle in our town again and case hell. Telling our daughter all lies about us but acting all nice to her so we look like the bad ones. Have another sd who is lovely and the oldest of the lot and tries to get all of the kids together which us great but she is invited. Don't won't my kids to have anything to do with her but no she will want to attand all the family gatherings organised by my other sd.

Advice how to handle it and stay sane. Our dd is 13 and is at a very impresanal age HELP. Have to be very careful what we say as everything we say about her miss 13 tells her on Snapchat. Apart from taking phone off daughter I don't know how to stop their relationship. She is the most evil manipulative person I have ever met. Need help please

 

Tryingtomakeitwork's picture

Submitted by Tryingtomakeitwork on Mon, 07/01/2019 - 9:53pm

Also depends on her maturity.  I also talked to my teenaged children about the difference between words and behavior.  I would set the boundaries immediately, and do not budge on them.  You are in a difficult situation.  You might want to consult a good therapist that specializes in manipulative behavior and difficult stepchildren to get some ideas on how to handle this.  My therapist could have written the scripts for my discussions with ss22.  

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 07/02/2019 - 9:55pm

Keep Miss 13 fully abreast of the facts on big sis.   We did with SS.  At that age he tended to be shut defd dive if them even when he would come home upset by their manipulative crap.  A few years later he was digging through our Custody/ Visitation/Support files to uncover their bullshit for himself.

As an adult (nearly 27) he is well informed and fully able to  call them on their manipulative bullshit and protect himself.

Give your daughter the facts.  She will need them to protect herself.