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20 going on 12

trickydix2000's picture

Submitted by trickydix2000 on Wed, 03/29/2017 - 2:27pm

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Adult Stepchildren

This is why we’re now separated, I couldn’t take it anymore 20 year grown child does nothing not even leaving the house, not cleaning the house or taking care the dog, not washing for days. My house smell very bad and her mother stayed at work all the time leaving me stuck at home after work dealing with the crap for years finally took a second job so her mother could see what her lazy ass daughter was not do all day. Her mother was indifferent, marriage ruined.

trickydix2000's picture

Submitted by trickydix2000 on Wed, 03/29/2017 - 3:30pm

Venting

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/30/2017 - 9:16am

Originally I did not comment cause you are already separated, thus marriage on the rocks... nothing I can say about it..

unless you simply did what I do... moved out to your own place, get some boundaries in place, DH can visit you and leave his slob and dog at home... and you make it very clear his live in wife needs to be out within 6 months or you will proceed with divorce

trickydix2000's picture

Submitted by trickydix2000 on Thu, 03/30/2017 - 9:26am

Thank you but for the record I’m a man this is my wife’s 20 year old that didn’t graduate High school and was setting around the house doing nothing. No job and no reason to get one because her mother can’t see the problem. I can’t image living my life like this forever and that would seem to be the direction this was heading separation was the only option IMO.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/30/2017 - 9:32am

apologies..... Dude Wink

regardless, get a place of your own and see how your wife handles it then... if she does not care, simply get a divorce as soon as possible and move on with your life....

no person should be living like this, I moved out 4 years ago - yeah my little SD bitch was only 14 and I could not handle it..... I made it clear after school she needs to get out of the house (this is basically our country custom) Either she works or go to Uni.... if she decides to stay for a "beach" year, I am out will be the end of me and SO..

Aergia already asked for a "beach" year, SO simply laughed and told her not on my dime and not while under my roof...
This off year after school is not our custom, it's something that started about 3 years ago... copied from USA and Europe... we do not allow that nonsense...

trickydix2000's picture

Submitted by trickydix2000 on Thu, 03/30/2017 - 9:37am

Agreed that year off accomplished nothing, they moved to an apartment where I found them 7 years ago, I’m still cleaning my house up room by room some of my friends came over to help me. At 1st I was torn because I found myself alone, but I had to realize that I’m in a better place, no more stressing over this and I can move forward thanks for listening.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Thu, 03/30/2017 - 12:01pm

Tricky, sometimes there's a bit of a hazing here for newcomers. I don't know why, I suppose from past suspicious incidents. Anyways, just shrug it off and people will get to know you the longer you are here and you will feel right at home.

I'm glad you left. And your story makes me shudder because my sd is on the verge of not graduating high school right now. We will find out on the very last day, I guess. You make me so glad I started vociferously insisting no high school dropouts lolling on my couch years ago when she was 14. My stepmother crystal ball saw this day coming but at the time dh did not and easily agreed cuz it seemed (to him only) to be no risk. Now that she's 7 or 8 weeks from maybe failing to graduating, he can't take it back.

Sally, I remember hearing about a "gap" year from UK or Europe a few years ago when Prince William took one, I believe. That was definitely the first time I heard of it. Gap year not a US thing. I hope it's not catching on in the states anywhere that I'm unaware of!

And, tricky, welcome!

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Fri, 03/31/2017 - 2:20pm

Nooooo! I'm sorry to hear that. However, in her case with the way her family's placed (Former Leader of the Free World embossed on their welcome mat to private at last home) she may have some insane opportunities to pursue. I hope that's the reason.

I'm with you. If you think free public education is such a burden you have to take a year vacation after it wait till you try life! Oy!