step-daughters mum refusing to give her back
i dont normally post on forums but really could use some advise ... so i have a six year old step daughter that sees her mum every second weekened except this weekend she refused to give her back (even though at mediation she said she didnt want her) my partner and her were having a massive row outside her house as she is letting there daughter see his dad and his step mother (they keep letting her play with sharp knives, drink coffee, were signing all her school forms without his consent and kept being nasty to my 2 girls so we stopped contact) when we finally got her home (really upset because of the argument between her parents) she was telling me how her step dad got drunk and threw up over her bed, how one of his male friends was sharing a room with her and two other male friends where staying in the house, her mum goes out to get drunk every time shes round ect. i dont know what to do i want to protect this little girl but as a step-parent can i really stop her mum doing this to her? her dad works away alot so most of this is down to me and i cant keep seeing her like this as not only is it upsetting her its also upsetting my children as they love her as much as i do 
didnt think i would have to deal with all this at 21, thank for reading sorry for it being so long any advise or experiences would be welcome
p.s ive tried talking to the mum and she slapped me round the face so dont really want to try that again
Does BM still have her? I'm
Does BM still have her? I'm slightly confused. Has dad tried to go get her? BM just slammed the door in his face? He needs to take a copy of the court order and call the police. Then press charges for whatever he can - custodial interference or kidnapping.
BM slapped you? So you called the cops right? And had her arrested for assault???
You can't stop BM from doing whatever she does on her time but this kid's dad should certainly be doing something to get visitation taken away from this crazy woman. Record Everything. Everything the kid tells you has happened, everything you see happen, every conversation, exchange, event, whatever. Get a book and write it down, date it. Every time Anything to do with BM occurs write it down, date it. Every time the kid comes to you and says "mom did x, mom's drunk friend did y" write it down.
Does she have a phone? I know they make phones for kids that basically have room for about 3 numbers - usually mom and dad's... get her one. if this stuff happens, have her call you. Call the cops. Ask for a wellfare check. Call CPS, tell them the kid just called you and why.
And tell dad he needs to be filing for a visitation modification - this woman should only have supervised visitation.
And if she ever lays a hand on you again, you better call the freaking police and press charges.
911 - report the kidnapping.
911 - report the kidnapping. Put BMs kidnapping ass in prison and get your SD in front of a therapist that can document her exposure to adult men and drug culture.
IMHO of course.
Anyone can report child
Anyone can report child abuse. Why isn't Daddy doing it?
The father would have to report this as a kidnapping and in the States it wouldn't even be that since the kid is with a parent in the parents home.
You're 21? What the hell are you doing in this mess? There are a million kids around with problems like this with their parents. You can't save them. You can't even save this one. Step-parents have no power - zero - nada - zilch - zero minus one - there is not a damn thing you can do.
Now get the hell out of there. This guy you're living with is not worth what you're going to put yourself through trying to make a home for this kid. Who, by the way, even if your man does get her back will grow up hating you as "You're not my mother - you make me follow rules and eat good food and stuff and won't let me smoke and drink and whore like my mother does - I hate you".
Why put yourself in the middle of this? It's lose lose lose for you, you'll end up losing her, your man and your life to this tragedy and you won't have helped one bit. Not one iota.
Find a guy with no kids, there are a million of them. After you know him well enough have children that actually belong to you, that will love calling you mommy, and will bring joy not tears and bitterness to your heart.
RUN girl RUN.
Have DH get the kid into
Have DH get the kid into counseling immediately. Let the counselor know about the men sleeping in her room.
Call the police and ask to speak to someone from Special Victims. Tell them that the child has said that strange men slept in her room and that you don't want to question her further because you don't want to traumatize her. They should be able to arrange for her to speak with a special child victim investigator to see if anything happened to her. Make sure neither you nor DH question her, let them do their jobs.
I think a phone for her is a great idea....a "secret phone" that can only call 911 or her dad or you. Most phones have parental usage controls that can be set online or by the carrier to limit who can call/be called. Tell her that if she is scared, she can call daddy. Having her call the police directly only helps if she can give them mom's address. If she calls dad, he needs to call the police.