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Responsibility question

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 9:45am

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Stepparent Rights

Hi all,

I am new to this site and have a question regarding legal responsibility for teenage stepchildren when they are visiting with their father and I.

If I say verbally to the father (my husband), "Please take the children with you, I will not be responsible" (but in a nicer way), and he leaves anyway, am I responsible???

I ask because this has happened in the past and I would like to remove myself from the situation as much as possible. There are problems with both children and I don't want to be held accountable. I have cut ties on FB with both children as mother was reading what we were emailing to each other (as any responsible parent would). I haven't said anything that I should be worried about, but a court rep is a mediator with father and mother and I don't want anything I have on my own personal FB to be used against my husband (never know how wacky some ex wives are these days). Anyway, that is a bit off topic from my question, just wanted to give some background.

Any help would be great.

Thanks

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 9:52am

Tell them to call their mother if they dont want to be with you. But make sure you tell their father first... If you leave the kids with me I WILL be calling their mother to get them. They are your kids not mine.

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:00am

I think they (well the daughter anyway) is happy to be with me. The problem is, I am sick of both of them and their disrespectful, manipulative ways. Their father won't hear anything bad about his kids and dumps me with one while he has time with the other. I wanted to make sure I wasn't legally responsible for their care if I decided to get in a cab and leave for the afternoon (or the entire day depending on how it turns out). I am just sick of being stuck with his kids.

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:34am

This actually sounds like a really good idea. He will be back in a shot. He will also be back in a shot if I tell the kids to call their mother if they don't want to be with me. He could do without more issues from her.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:19am

How old are they? SO has done this to be before. Wake up, he's gone and I've got a skid. Well, they are 12 and 15 so I left the home. told skid I'd be back in a while. Texted SO to say I'm running errands, your kid is at home.

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:40am

Not exactly like that. He normally says "I am going down to shop with *****" and then is gone for the entire day and leaves me with the other one. I think he knows that I will tell him "no" if he actually tells me how long he is going to be, so he just doesn't say that he is going to be gone for the day.

Or he says, "I am just going to &&&&, be back in a few mins" and is gone the entire day. Same situation as above, but I am left with both kids.

Just getting jack of it.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 4:27pm

Yes, mine did this too. I'm going to great clips, 20 min. Suddenly its an all day thing. After 2 hours and finding out he went shopping for some new electronic thing he wanted, I left. Went out with a friend for the day. Texted that I am going to run errands your kid is at home. He took his son that day, left his daughter. Ididn't care. He was taking advantage, he didn't tell me he was going to be gone so long. When he called to ask me to get her some dinner I said I'm not home. Thought you were, you didn't say you were going to be out.

Lesson learned for him.

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:54am

I guess my original post was whether I was actually legally responsible for them or not. I don't want to ask a lawyer (for obvious reasons), but would still like to know so that I can cover my own back.

stepmomtotwoteenagers's picture

Submitted by stepmomtotwotee... on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 10:58am

Thanks!! I really do appreciate it. I know it is silly, but I just wanted to make sure that nothing could happen legally if I decided to go out on my own for the day if it occurred again. Again, I do appreciate your post.

OMO's picture

Submitted by OMO on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 7:33pm

:? I have wondered the samething. So I put a call to child services and found out that each state has a different allowed age when children can be left home alone. Believe it or not my state doesn't have an age requirement. However, they could not answer if I would be legally responsible if something after I left the house. So I just told my husband that I would call child services if the child was left home alone. So if he made plans he better have a sitter, because I am not.