Will Domestic Relations allow this…
And am I crazy for even considering going along with it?
My ex is having financial problems due to divorce. They weren’t married that long, and he’s already sold a property he owned prior to their marriage, in order to pay her off… and she is still going after him financially
he has not missed a payment even once. He pays me back his half of the bill for the braces (I paid up front for the discount) every week, in cash, without fail.
He asked me if it would be okay with me if he were to pay child support in cash, so that he can close down his checking account.
It’s drastic… I want to help him out, but at the same time, I don’t want to be left with no recourse if he were for whatever reason to just stop paying support.
I’ve been the “good guy” in regard to child support from day one. We’ve been apart nearly as long as my daughter has been on this earth (12 years) and I haven’t gone back and asked for any more money, but I do count on the support to pay for things for her, like sports, dance, clothes, summer camp… etc.
I could have gone back and had the court order him to pay half of the camp dues and stuff, but I use the c/s to pay for it, and I don’t need it to pay any other bills, so the c/s has always gone solely and directly to things for my daughter.
If the court allows it… is it a really bad idea to go along with it? Do you think I have any thing to fall back on legally if something happens and he stops paying? (help!)
Actually, I believe that will
Actually, I believe that will hurt him more than it will hurt you--because if it's in cash, he has no way of proving he paid those months. Not that I condone screwing him over by alleging he did not pay if he did.
However, why not come to a compromise? Have him bring the cash to the bank, make a bank check, and then give that to you instead? However, do NOT make it formal in court that he can pay you by cash, as he can just as easily claim you took the money but you're claiming you didn't. This way everyone is covered.
Hopefully that helps. Good luck!
Well, when my SO lost his job
Well, when my SO lost his job a while back and was unemployed for several months, he paid his ex in cash. He just printed out receipts (you can find templates for them online) and she'd sign them every time he gave her money. That way there was proof, in case it was ever needed. It worked for us, but there was never really a problem on either side (he always paid, so she never complained).
Didn't know you could do
Didn't know you could do this! Great idea!
I'm not the kind of person
I'm not the kind of person who would screw him over. I've been keeping a running total of his payments to me for the braces, I give him a monthly tally so he knows I'm keeping track for him and that I'm acknowleging receipt of his payments. The receipt is a good idea. Thank you...
I apologize, I didn't mean
I apologize, I didn't mean you would, just that it is possible and some people have tried. Sorry if I caused some confusion. ^^;;;
No need to apologize, I
No need to apologize, I didn't think you were trying to imply that.
I know if it was my exh I'd
I know if it was my exh I'd say a big HELL NA! But, he's proven he won't pay unless CSE is Holding a gun to his head. You say he's always paid on time.
Even with my order in place, exh has figured out how to work the system and pays when/what he can. Not what was ordered. We've been divorced for 12 years too, and I haven't gone back for a single modification either. We can actually be in each others company and I don't want to strangle the life out of him. Anymore. It took a LOOOONG time to get here tho. And he has a bad habit of quitting jobs to avoid cs. (He actually quit a $22 an hour job, to tend bar) Because they were about to raise his support payment.
I guess I would go with my gut on this one. What does that "woman's intuition" say to you when he suggests this?
I know in Florida "cash payments" are considered gifts and not cs, only when it goes through cse is it considered cs. So it may benefit you IF he messes up and the laws are the same where you are.
My state is the same way.
My state is the same way. Unless you are self-employed, and don't receive a paycheck and then moms like me are screwed... Someone is probably after him, wanting to garnish his checking account for something, and he is trying to remove a money trail from the ex. This is pretty common. I would say help him out. It's pretty rare for a dad to pay cs regularly and if he's been pretty consistent... at least he's trying to take care of his child before his new ex gets it.
He bartends for a living… and
He bartends for a living… and he’s not getting any younger. The amount of money he’s making has been declining, with the economy (he works at a high end restaurant, they’re hurting like most are right now)
So he is trying to hide money from his ex, but to be honest with you, I really, really don’t blame him. He was stupid enough to hand her over half the money from the sale of a really nice rental property, that she had no claim to (which had next to nothing left on the mortgage, so she got a fair chunk of money) but he did it with no documentation and now she’s going after him for more money… she keeps telling him she wants “her share”
Her share of what? She makes more than him, she took him off her health insurance, they didn’t own a home together, they were married for like, four years. (yeah, I feel bad for him… stupid idiot!
I will check with domestic relations office today to find out of they allow cash payments for cs. If they do, I just have the ‘gut feeling’ that it’s the right thing to do