We've been having a horrible time dealing with our SS 15. We have 50/50 custody. He is smart, but not doing well in school. He is given consequences for not following rules, but will just refuse to come to our house to avoid them. BM, in the last investigation report, was told she need to learn how to set consequences and stop being the "rescuing" parent. It was noted that she engages in covert alienation by allowing SS to have no rules in her house and always telling SS that my DH is a "bad parent" by setting unreasonable demands. (Like showering, wearing clean clothes, cleaning the toilet when he pees all over it and not leaving food in his room until it molds)

Past history, BM accused my DH of "pushing" her during the divorce and he was arrested for DV. He's in a career that would be over if he was found guilty. He agreed to attend classes so they would dismiss it as he couldn't take any chances at trial. Initially SS was aligned with DH and accused his BM of kicking him. This went all the way to a police report where SS retracted it after the first hearing. SS has become more aligned with his BM in the past four years or so and now he is repeatedly accusing DH of violence. I live with him, this has never happened. The investigator who did the report when BM sued for primary custody (again) two years ago said SS lies, exaggerates and is encouraged to by his mother. The investigator went on to list TWO PAGES of instances where it was proven that SS was lying and/or exaggerating.

We told SS if he falsely accused DH again, he would not be allowed back in to our home. This happened and DH sent BM an email saying he would no longer enforce parenting time with SS. We can't take the chance that it will affect my DH's career or custody of my two kids. Interestingly, DH has no problems with SD 12, only her brother.

BM, with information from SS, filed a motion to restrict parenting time and accused DH of violence and endangering SS. Don't laugh, but one of the quotes that they listed was the fact that SS was asked to fold socks, when he was 13, and his hands were "honestly too small" to do it. It was unreasonable. So DH trashed his room and broke his dresser. I WAS THERE. IT NEVER HAPPENED. He has accused him of so many things that other people have said never happened so I'm not too worried about SS's credibility.

We would like to give up parenting time with SS, have no visitation, but DH does not want to relinquish custody. BM knows this so why did she file a motion to restrict his parenting time when she knows he doesn't want to exercise it? She filed it as an emergency order and we have a hearing next week. I'm going to be honest. We have spent $50k+ defending DH from BM. She's like a terminator and never stops. We don't have any more money to pour down the drain for a SS who's acting like a sociopath, just like his BM. I'm to the point I don't even want to see SD because I'm so upset her BM is ruining our lives. I know it's not her fault, I can't help the resentment though. I certainly don't show it but I feel it. The BM knows that court proceedings could eventually catch up to DH's job as he works with children in a mental health setting. She's ruining his reputation by telling anyone who will listen that he's abusive. BTW, he's one of the most caring, compassionate people I've ever met. Both of my kids adore him and can't wait to be around him.

Has anyone else had the other parent use the court to torment, harass and bankrupt your family? I just want her to leave us alone. If her son wants to be the same way, he can just leave us alone too. Has anyone else ever given up visitation rights without relinquishing custody? We are thinking about relocating out of state just to get away from her.