Mother denigrating step mum (any experience in the courts)
Hi all.
i am wondering if anyone has any experience as a step mum with dealing with the bio mums constant denigration towards me
her affidavits lodged to the court are constant false allegations and have seemed to become all about what a terrible person I am and completely false occurrences. My step daughters continually are telling me what their mother tells them " I have a black soul" and "me and my sons are not family. Family is blood only" and told they will be in trouble if they have photos with me or cuddle me etc.
We had their family assessment as instructed by the courts last week. Does anyone have an example of what a written report looks like? Anyone have any experience in how the courts etc deal with a parent that continually tries to alienate and make false allegations against the other parent (mainly me and I'm the step mum - but it would seem an obsessive jealous narcissist now only has her sights on tarnishing me and my reputation and make her kids hate me) (which is unsuccessful as they tell me everything and continue showing love and affection to me)
thanks for your help!
Have a lawyer check out her
Have a lawyer check out her affidavits to see if you have grounds to go after her for libel or character diffamation.
How old are your steps?
As hard as it is, I don't bad
As hard as it is, I don't bad mouth the BM as I understand that this is their mother and I don't want to teach them the same values of bullying that the mother is.
My partners lawyer had me do an affidavit for the custody case which has just been submitted to the courts because so much of her affidavit is about me!
I simply deny all allegations and express my concern for the girls (aged 8 and 4).
has anyone had a family assessment before? I might start a new post to ask that q actually.
Ask your husbands lawyer to
Ask your husbands lawyer to pen a strongly worded letter to BM and her lawyer. May cost you 200bucks.
Contents include "Please instruct your client Ms. Bm to stop blah blah about my clients new wife Mrs. OP. Your clients continues to 1. 2. 3 and 4.
If she decides to ignore our request, I have instructed my client to file harassment charges against YOUR asshole client and seek maximin relief the court deems appropriate.
That should fix the problem, IF not your dh's lawyer will know what to do next.
I have 2 boys though and when
I have 2 boys though and when the girls come back and say "mum says your fat" and "mum says you have a black soul" my 12 year old is defensive and won't tolerate those nasty lies being said about his mother. The girls always say they don't agree with the mother and they love me etc. just wish the mother would stop damaging their little brains!
You are well within your
You are well within your writes to have a sit down with dh and tell the kids....What your mom is saying is mean and ugly. It is NOT 'kind' to talk like that AND we do not talk like this in our home. You are also told in school NOT to be a bully, right?
OP you know how many non custodial homes are told DO NOT TALK to kids about custody matters and never ever talk about about the MOM? Not matter what MOM does...do not say anything about it...do not question or comment about MOM Unless your saying how wonderful she is.
NCP are to take it on the chin and the lower extremities.
Now that I am older I have learned that is not always the wise move to not have conversations with kids about very bad behavior even if mom is the one doing it.
. Kids DO look to adults.
In all other matters in life, when someone calls someone fat or reports a lie about having a dark soul. WE all jump to defend....right? Society calls that being a bully, right?
If being a bully is not ever ok, why is it ONLY ok when bm's do it.
SPEAK up op....tell the kids what is going on is wrong. Teachers would do it if a student called another student fat OR said the student had a dark soul.
Please take back your power.
I am so sorry....
Heck my 5 year old Grandchild knows saying mean ugly things is very wrong and hurtful. Yoru bm is an a**
Thanks. I always do say to
Thanks. I always do say to the girls, when they say "mum says you have a black soul" for example I ask them what do they think about that? Then the youngest replied "I think you have a silver soul"
I do also say that it is bullying behaviour from your mother and she should not be filling your heads with negative thoughts. They already know their mum is a bully and mean. But they are also scared of her and have their own loyalties to her.
When they were saying the "black soul" comment, I did react more than I normally would and said "why is your mum so obsessed with me?" My partner chimed in to the girls" yeah your mum is obsessed with Ree Ree (my name)"
the older daughter said " she is obsessed with saying bad things about you because she is jealous that you are with dad"
Then the older daughter said later "adults are silly how they break up, I wish you met Ree Ree first before mum"
I just have to keep encouraging them to be good people, so hard up against evil!
Go for blood. Tear out her
Go for blood. Tear out her throat with counter claims, defamation/slander/libel suits as applicable, start tuning the Skids with BM's bullshit. They know what you have done and what you haven't. Give them the facts and bare BM's ass any time she twitches out of line.
The side who is the most comitted, aggressive and brutal will shut the other side down.
Go for the win!