I had previously posted that I was in the process of adopting my 9 yo ss. (I may have claimed a different age, b/c I was worried about posting before the judge ruled (paranoid, I guess.)

Anyhow, a little background....

*C* was 5 yo when I met him. Swore like a sailor. BM would call BF (now DH) and, get this, demand money (5-10 bucks) screaming "If you don't get here in 15 minutes with it, I will call the cops and tell them you hit me, so you'd better..." cute. Sometimes she would have *C* get on phone, age 5 mind you, "Dad, Mom needs money for gas. We can't go to McDonald's unless you come with money."

This woman was 32 at the time. Not working. Been fired from every job she's had for stealing. Turn's out she has a drug problem (No surprise)

Anyhow, BF was living seperately from her then, and *C* would only go with her when he had to work nights. I naturally volunteered to watch him at night after a few months of this nonsense. You know that never bothered her? She would still demand money from BF, even though she NEVER had son.

Well, eventually she was evicted from her apartment, I moved in with BF, and we did not hear a word from her. Fine.

Three years go by, and I decide to adopt SS, lest there ever be a problem with DH down the road (accident, divorce-hey, just being realistic) I wanted to ensure that this previously troubled child had consistency (sp).

Naturally, BM's friend sees the publishment in the paper, and she shows up not only to contest, but to file for visitation and CUSTODY. HA. It would have been funny, except in the past 18 months, DH and I have spent over 10G fighting her, and she did not have to pay a dime (come to find out they actually appoint attorneys for this in our liberal state.)

Trial was Dec 1. DH, I and BM testified. She testified about how she had been addicted to opiates for the past 15 years, but had been sober for the past one year. She had moved about 20 times, and no, she did not try to contact DH becasue she was AFRAID of him. (Who would leave their child with someone they are afraid of?) Poor excuse for partying.

Anyhow, before I am accused of being some sort of bitch, let me say that we had numerous court dates. This woman would sit outside smoking butts, waiting for us to arrive. She would loudly harrass me, making fun of my clothes, hair, whatever. Dear god, it was like being in eighth grade. I would have been grateful to the woman who was taking care of my child when I could not do so myself, but hey, I guess it takes all kinds. I am a mother, too, and if she had even been polite to me, I would have tried to work something out, but I will not be subjected to that BS.

So For months I worried about having to drive *C* to some "supervised visiting center" which he did not want to do, and dealing with this wing nut calling my house, harrassing me, but guess what?

She was denied custody. She was denied even supervised visitation. Her parental rights were terminated. Here's why:

***Transient lifestyle (failure to maintain a stable home)
***Ongoing substance abuse (even though she was sober for one year, the court accepts that it is unlikely that she will remain so, citing her previous failures)
***Willful abandonment (She did not provide any address, did not pay c/s, etc.)