Am new to this site and this situation - BD is a POS
So, I am currently the SD (well, in all but law. Me and his mother are engaged, but not married) of an incredible, sweet 5 yr old SS. He rally is quite an awesome kid. I feel like I hit the Jackpot.
Our problem is with the worthless Bio Dad. She left him about 2 yrs ago and she and I have been dating for about a year. She has been my best friend since first grade, although I left our area for about 10 years and moved back as she was leaving this guy (I had nothing to do with the split).
For their entire relationship the ex had diabetes and never (I mean never) took care of himself. Constant health problems and would only work occasionally. If he had taken care of himself he would not have had that many issues. She finally got fed up and left him. Now the guy (almost 40 yrs old) lives on his parents' couch and doesn't work at all. Does drugs constantly, which actually put him in a coma for 2 weeks about 3 months ago.
Right now the co-parenting plan has it at 50/50, which I think is absolutely insane. When the SS is not with us he sleeps on his Dad's parents' couch WITH him. Me and my fiancee are both gainfully employed professionals.
The reason it is taking so long to get back in front of a court to get FC is because this A-hole keeps filing for extensions for medical reasons on literally the last day he can, EVERY single time.
I am starting to believe our lawyer is an absolute waste, but my fiancee keeps saying this stuff just takes forever. Am I insane to think this should all be resolved by now?
On top of everything, this POS is trying to get alimony, even though we literally pay for EVERYTHING for the SS, whether it is at our place or his. We just spent over 3k on a surgery and the A-Hole had the nerve to say we should thank him for the $40 in popsicles and stuff he brought over. When my fiancee stated that we spent 3k and he didn't drop a dime, he had the balls to say, "Well, if you gave me more CS I would have pitched in."
This guy calls us at least once a week asking for gas money!
Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to vent.
If anyone can give me some insight, I would really appreciate it.
Cheers.
We have tried to get him to
We have tried to get him to see reason and let us change custody to exactly that, but the custody agreement says 50/50 right now and he refused to budge. We are actually trying to change to FC, but need to actually get in front of a judge to do it. And that is taking forever.
Dude is the worst patent I have ever seen (and that's saying a lot, as I was a school teacher in a really bad area of the Bronx for a while).
I guess I am just too new to this court thing. It doesn't make sense that we can't just go in front puff a judge and explain all the garbage this guy does.
Oh, believe me, every ounce
Oh, believe me, every ounce of my being was hoping this POS never came out of that coma. Frankly, I think his parents were feeling the same way.
I just wish he would man up and actuallY coparent. Instead all he does is cause drama.
Ha! Golden Penis Syndrome!
Ha! Golden Penis Syndrome! Only thing is because of the drugs and his health, this champ couldn't even get it up.
Okay, as for the useless POS
Okay, as for the useless POS lawyer. Nope, if the attorney is not delivering what you retained them to deliver fire its worthless ass and find an attorney that will aggressively pursue what you retain them to pursue.
We dealt with an inactive, milk the calendar for as many billable hours as possible, "You need to work with them (the toxic Sperm Clan)", bill my wife an hour for a 20min tear filled telephone call, lawyer for the first round with the Sperm Clan. Though we pretty much won that round hands down we fired her useless ass and found a complete destroy the opposition shark attorney who worked closely with us to hand the Sperm Clan their asses for the remaining 14ish years of the CO.
Many attorneys never gain the clarity or grasp reality enough to understand that they are nothing more than a hired hand who works for you, the client. Much like a bug killer. You pay your exterminator to kill the bugs in your home, you pay your attorney to deliver what you require them to deliver.
A good one will do that. Do not tolerate anything less from your employee. That is all your attorney is, an employee who has a special skill that you pay them to execute in your best interests. Good ones are your partner in the legal effort. They know who they work for.
When we were shopping for a new attorney nearly 20 years ago we met with several. When we met with our get it done attorney he listened to our problem and then asked some key questions.
1) Are you pursuing this action in the best interests of the child or to stick it to bio dad?
2) This could get expensive. Are you prepared for the potential costs if this turns into an extended effort?
3) If I do not believe that what you are trying to accomplish is reasonable or acceptable will you consider any alternative suggestsion that I make?
We gave him a retainer on the spot. We have referred many of our friends to him including my college BFF and his wife when they were going through the adoption of their daughter.
He is extremely expensive on an hourly basis but he is far more affordable than our cut rate first attorney. When we engage him he gets it done and gets it done quickly. What our first attorney took 30-60 hours of her time to do our guy makes happen in 10 hours of his time.
Most recently he facilitated the adult adoption of my son. SS-22 called us last month, informed his mom and I that he is a Rags, always has been a Rags, and wanted to be adopted. We met with our killer attorney and told us that it would take him either 48 hours or 45 days to get it done. He was wrong. He swiped our credit card during our first meeting on a Monday and the adoption was signed by the Judge on Friday of the same week. Money well spent. Lots of money. But, rather than months and months of crap and delays it was done, done well, and done quickly.
The Sperm Clan had no time to bring the guilt trip bullshit to play on my son and he is now free of the family name label of the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. Once he received the scanned copy of the order the Skid had his name changed with the USAF within the week and once he received the official hard copy with raised seal from the County Courthouse he had been to have his named changed on his DL and SS cards. Those have not arrived yet but he should have them within a week or so.
So, find an attorney that is worth a shit and castrate this POS Sperm Idiot. Time to show him unequivocally that even the Golden Penis and Golden Orbs of Sperm Clan reproduction will rot when removed from their life support system.
He wants alimony and CS? :? :jawdrop: :sick: Nope, time for your SO to get sole physical and legal custody and minimize her child's exposure to this useless POS.
It worked wonders for my son. I became his dad when his mom and I married the week before he turned 2. We just got the papers and he is 22. He knows who his REAL dad is and so will your kid.