Is your DH an alcoholic? Like mine? OT
My DH is a drunk. We have been married for only 9 months been together for two, but I have known him since high school.
I am getting so tired of him embarrassing me in front of family and friends. When he gets drunk he gets nasty and very belligerent. He drinks every day! He has managed to hold down his job for 30 years, but has his first drink in the am (like 5:00 am) He drives around with a "cup". He smells like a distillery and I just can't take it anymore.
His kids are in the custody of the mom now and no longer want to be bothered with their drunk of a dad. they don't call him or text him. when he calls them they don't answer their phones.
Just about every night I have to put DH to bed. I have to walk him in the house take his clothes off and put him to bed like a child. I have NO kids!
I gave DH a choice either the bottle or me. He chose me but he is still drinking! I suggested rehab and he said "Oh I'm not that bad!"
I am tired of coming home from work and seeing DH passed out in the chair(cup in hand) with yesterdays clothes on! I get off work at 1:00 pm!! He is already plastered.. Sometimes I come home and he is sleeping in the car..He was too drunk to make it in the house. The pther day I had to pick him out of the snow because he was tood runk to walk on his own.
I already have a place to go (I have my own apt in my moms house) but financially he will be messed up and not able to afford the rent on his place without me, but I gave him a choice and clearly he loves the booze more.
Sorry this is kinda long..I just had to tell somebody. 
I am so sorry that you have
I am so sorry that you have to go though that. I will keep you in my prayers! You sound like a comapssionate person.
Thanks Snowflake! I gotta
Thanks Snowflake!
I gotta save myself. I feel so bad for him and love him but I love ME more.
It is sooo embarrassing. All of our friends have tried to interevne and saying "Man Stuknaz how are you putting up with this?" He has called meout of my name the b word and has thrown things at me and then the next day he doesn't remember A THING!
"And this too shall pass..."
Leave! You aren't doing
Leave!
You aren't doing him any favors by enabling his behavior. Believe me, I know it's easier said than done, but, for both of you, I feel that you should leave. At that point, he will have to face the "music".
They say that alcoholics have to "hit bottom" before they can be helped. They can't hit bottom when we are there to pick them up and dust them off.
Anyway, good luck, and I'll pray for you both.
EXACTLY Devilwoman I should
EXACTLY Devilwoman
I should have left in the summer but I didn't. I should have left when he made me see stars and my brother tried to kill him but I didn't. Now we or he(I have my own place) is about to move into a house and it would be me who will be paying most of the bills. amd I have this voice on my shoulder telling me "not to do do it"
I just ordered bedroom furniture suppose to be here in three weeks. I gotta see if I cancel the order.
This man is a drunk and I didn't know! Stupid me!
"And this too shall pass..."
You're not stupid.
You're not stupid. Alcoholics are usually master manipulators. He was probably very convincing. Mine sure was!
Oh so you can relate
Oh so you can relate Devilwoman??
"And this too shall pass..."
Yeah I know, but I am just
Yeah I know, but I am just sooo tired of this. He is so predictable. I am losing interest in him and our marriage.
When he is sober (whenever that is) he is a sweet guy.
Anybody who is at the liquor store on a Sunday and is the first one there(before they even open) has a problem!
"And this too shall pass..."
Yep, I can relate. Ex was
Yep, I can relate. Ex was (and still is) an active alcoholic. Not fun. I spent 15 years trying to figure out how to change him back into the "nice guy" I met.
He moved his girlfriend into his apartment three weeks after I threw him out of the house, and she's been enabling him ever since (eight years). Better her than me!
Wow..I feel bad even though
Wow..I feel bad even though I shouldn't. He just called and doesn't even remeber what we talked about last night.
He is talking like everything is fine..he has no clue what I'm going to do.
"And this too shall pass..."
Yeah, you have to leave.
Yeah, you have to leave. Losing you completely is the only thing that might wake him up. But even that, sorry to say, probably won't change him.
Hugs, Stuknaz.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Thanks for teh hugs
Thanks for teh hugs belleboudeuse!!
"And this too shall pass..."
See I think he will drink
See I think he will drink himself to death and be dead before 50! He is 47 now and drinks a fifth of a booze a day! he has already had 3 DWI's back in 98,99 and 2002(I wasn't with him then)
I just don't wanna have this conversation again! But he doesn't remember the conversation from last night.
This is so stressful and draining. But again I gotta save myself.
"And this too shall pass..."
My stepdad is an alcoholic.
My stepdad is an alcoholic. I remember all the times my mom had to carry him in the house or change his clothes for him.
He became so rude and disrespectful after a few drinks. He also had no problem telling you what he thought of you too.
I made sure that I would never deal with someone like that. I felt awful for what my mom had to go through dealing with it and horrible for us because we were children witnessing it.
Now he is in his late 60s, a diabetic and legally blind in one eye. In so many ways he needs my mom to help him.
Outwardly everyone thought he was a great guy. And when he was sober, he was. But I can count on one hand the times he did "dad" stuff with us, or even with my brother who was his only bio child.
Sorry I went off on a tangent. But you have to look at the big picture. You are taking care of a grown child. You are enabling him. I truly believe that all addicts need to hit their own rock bottom before they begin to climb out of the hole. This is obviously making you miserable. Perhaps you should see a counselor who can help sort out your own feelings?
((((HUGS))))
Gigi222 Man your mom is or
Gigi222
Man your mom is or was me! Helping a grow man out of his socks and underwear while being called a Bitch. yep that's me! Hubby was just diagnosed with diabetes 2!
I'm done. My stomach hurts somebody is going to be crying tonight and it's not going to be me.
Thanks for sharing your story
"And this too shall pass..."
Stay strong stucknaz. You
Stay strong stucknaz. You know what is best for you and I know you can do it
Dh doesn't think he has a
Dh doesn't think he has a problem, but clearly he does. Just 2 days ago in a drunken stupor he promised me and his best friend he was going to stop(yeah right)
If he was going to make the effort then it would be a different story. I look at DH now with such pity and sadness. It is a shame but I acn't be pulled down with him.
Just how many times do I have to pick him up off the floor?
I am tired...
"And this too shall pass..."
The best thing you can do
The best thing you can do for yourself is to go online and find your nearest Al-Anon meeting. There you will meet good people who completely understand what you are going through. A good Al-Anon meeting may save your sanity, if not your life. Best of all, the meetings are free!
I wish you all the best:-) Remember, the only person you can change is yourself.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Thank you everybody for your
Thank you everybody for your support. But I have decided I'm leaving. I have been dealing with this for way too long.
I'm gonna have to sit him down and tell him. I tried to last night but when I got to his house he was passed out drunk, Again! (Sigh)
I did tell my mom who is supportive but yet surprised and she told me to get out of the marriage as well.
So that's what I'm going to do!!
Again thanks for listening!
"And this too shall pass..."