My DH has said something along those lines to me in the past. I am very independent and he knows that I don't NEED him. While he admits to loving this about me, he has also asked if I will let him take care of things sometimes. Let him think you are the dansel in distress sometimes. For example, we got one hell of a snowstorm this weekend, I would have cleaned my car off and helped shovel, but I let him do that and thanked him and told him how much I appreciated it. Sometimes men just need that "Im the man and Im taking care of things" thing. I don't know if Im explaining this right, lol. Im not saying become the a woman of the 50's, Im just saying let him think he's taking care of things sometimes.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

You should get a strap on and poke him in the ass then ask "Who's a woman now, bitch?"

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

I think that's code for "You have too many opinions of your own and refuse to cave in."

Research shows that MOST (not all) guys want their women to be just a little stupider than they are, make a little less money than they do, and give them the reins in the relationship. Most men want to feel like they are #1 in the relationship and that when push comes to shove, they are in control.

Notice I say most, not all. I know there are guys who aren't that way. My DH is one of them. But frankly, he's the first guy I've ever been with who isn't that way.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

My mother once told me that I would never find a man because I was too damned independent. And she was right about the independent part. My DH is always preaching how the MAN is in control of the homestead yadayadayada WHY we married I will never know - lotta lust there.

Men feel important when they can help a woman..ie..damsel in distress. He gets to play the hero.

I'd love to get a man's input on this. SBS? Rags? Yoohoo!

I agree with everyone above. Sounds like code for him saying that he wants a "damsel in distress", which you sound completely the opposite of. Good for you! His comments were insensitive, hurtful and he's an idiot for not realizing how lucky he is to have an independent woman like you. I can't stand men like that. You can let him do some things for you (if you want to), but PLEASE don't change/morph into one of those women like most of our BM's are that can't find their way out of a paper bag....ugh.... Never change who you are - if he can't handle your independence (which he should be embracing, not effing complaining about), that's his loss, IMO.

We need some "guy opinion" from SBS & Rags on this...

lol first of all I wanna thank stepmom for making me lmao. you are hilarious. and to give my opinion I think she's got the right to be pretty damn pist about her man telling her to be more like a woman. that sounds to me like he wants her to be miss betty crocker. men need to understand we are not in the 50's anymore and that we "WOMAN" are very independant and can take care of ourselves and a household at the same time. My man has also said something to that effect in one or a couple of our arguments of course not exactly those same words but more like "why dont you ever let me take care of things" or why do you always rush to do everything by yourself" which means in a man's code. "WHY CANT YOU BE MORE LIKE A WOMAN". LOL
He loves that i'm independent but he also fears that I can be 10 times better than him at everything that I do.

To Mr. Steve's comment: why is everyone surprised about what he had to say, did you ladies forget he's a MAN?

Maybe if men would stop trying to be so god damn powerful and enter a 50/50 relationship then maybe us woman wouldnt be here trying to figure them out, and havent we learned our lesson yet. we will never, i mean never understand a man.... we think with our heart they think with their asssss

I usually think that I am a pretty forward thinking, modern guy. My beautiful wife is very independent, self sufficient, and all around wonderful! I am secure in my masculinity, and Stick and I each know which of us is the man, and which is the woman, it having nothing to do with what task we are performing at that moment. Having said that, I know for myself, that if a woman said that she wanted to punch me, to show who was manlier, I would seriously start to consider my options. As men, we are taught that violence is never an option where women are concerned, maybe it is time for that lesson to become universal.

I understand that she is probably not really considering punching her husband, at least I am hoping that she isn't. But still, if I came on here, or any website, and said that I wanted to punch my wife in the face to show her that I am the man, how many people would be up in arms?, and rightfully so! There are woman who can do things that a man can do, and there are men that can do what women can do, but we cannot replace each other, life does not work that way.

My husband is much more politically correct than I am. I actually told him to check this post out because I thought it was an interesting reflection on the differences between men and women and how they perceived the situation.

In this one StayOrGo - I agreed with the guys, and again, it's part of the reason I pointed out the blog to DH.

Sure, there are things that we can do that men cannot. But you know what? There are LOTS of things that men can do that we cannot. It's a fact of life, of nature.

This whole "I am woman, hear me roar" stuff is annoying. The reality is, it is not a sign of weakness or fraility to ask for help or to admit what you cannot do. At least that's my take on it.

I think the feminists got it wrong. I like being strong and independent and fully capable of running my own home and taking care of my own business. Don't forget that I work in a male dominated industry. Having said that... I really appreciate and enjoy having a man "make me feel like a woman"... Treating me special and letting my show my feminine side.

It's up to you StayorGo. Do you really need to prove how strong you are? Or are you not strong enough to let your softer side show?

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

I have accused my DH of wanting me to be both the 'man' and the 'woman' in the relationship. I confess my dad was like this also - he never 'helped' my mom, and that was just how it was.

Like Cruella, he doesn't mind that I work my ass off and get paid, yes more than he does at the moment, but then complains because I am not very domestic.

I am very active, love to read and talk current events or politics but for instance do not know how to prepare hot dogs and their buns to his satisfaction? because I don't want to eat those, we are just broke.

I have never thought it was fair for a man to carry the entire burden of paying the bills, just like I don't think it is fair for the woman to do all the housework or childcare. I got married because I wanted a partner, not to do everything myself! which I explained before the wedding.

I told him 'you can't have it both ways', but in an ideal relationship I think we could both be 'both', in a manner of speaking.!
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“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

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