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Would you do it again if you had the choice????

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 10:58am

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General Discussion

So... I ran into a friend I haven't in awhile and she began to express her concerns and issues with her Skids. She said, "If I had it to do again I would've never dated anyone with kids. I would have stayed clear." Now this in NOT the first time I have heard this before.... (I may have uttered something like this a few times myself)

What would you do if you had the choice??

Ingrid's picture

Submitted by Ingrid on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 11:13am

I do have a choice.

If these people don't want to be my friend...I don't want to be theirs!

Gone are the days of sucking it up and kissing ass. I'm one foot out the door.

TheBrightSide's picture

Submitted by TheBrightSide on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 1:41pm

True.

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 12:41pm

I would probably be involved with a man with children again but I should have steered clear of the particular situation with my exbf because they were not yet divorced (only separated...didn't find out until three months into the relationship), BM has mental health issues, SD had been raised in a child-centric family where she was the Universe, you get the idea. Add in a controlling MIL and yikes. Also, my exbf is still working through serious financial stuff post divorce.

That being said, it would have been hard for me to put the breaks on because I did/do love him but if I was in that situation again I would have slowed WAY down, not have moved, not dated him until his divorce was final...

I would like to believe exbf's situation is not the norm but I've yet to be convinced otherwise.

halfstepmom2skids's picture

Submitted by halfstepmom2skids on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 1:06pm

I would with a man who has SSs only, no sd's. I just don't have any empathy or get the little girl thing. I have 2 boys, always wanted a girl, but now i know why God didn't give me a girl and i thank him for that non-gift.

halfstepmom2skids's picture

Submitted by halfstepmom2skids on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 1:19pm

I have a ss, and his dad is completely different with him, he actually parents him and is so respectful to me and is truly a good kid. That's what makes it so hard for me, i can see him truly parent and the good outcome. I also question whether it is cuz she is a girl and they should be treated differently or if she is just a master manipulator?

raggedyann1973's picture

Submitted by raggedyann1973 on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 3:04pm

Nope, I would not do it again...i only would if the kid and mama live in east jabib somewhere.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 3:46pm

I would do it again in a heart beat!

My preference would have been for my SS to be my spawn but at least this way I can blame his issues on the SpermIdiot. }:)

clairedelune's picture

Submitted by clairedelune on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 4:41pm

Not that I regret meeting my DH but NO I would NEVER date a man with children! NEVER!!!
They bring too many fights and arguments and headaches when they are not yours!

fugfrog's picture

Submitted by fugfrog on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 5:13pm

I often think about this - I think I would, I think maybe if I had known about ss's problems earlier then everything would have been very different and it may have been easier. But it may not have been.
So yes, I would do it again... so far lol!

Triggerfishgal's picture

Submitted by Triggerfishgal on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:10pm

Considering my doctor just put me on anxiety meds to control my blood pressure on EOW and Wednesday visits, I think I would not do this over again. I love my FDH with all my heart, and I look forward to marrying him Saturday, but as others have said, every problem we have had, save one, has been related to FSS8. I think I would have gone on a few dates with FDH and told him, sorry, I just am not the kind of woman who likes kids, and left it at that. I'm learning to tolerate, but still not fond of, FSS8.

Chavez's picture

Submitted by Chavez on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:36pm

10+ years in, yes I would do it again. However there are several things I would have done differently right off the bat!

SillyGilly's picture

Submitted by SillyGilly on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 4:03pm

Nope!

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 12:01pm

NO WAY.

The only way I would ever consider it is if we could go back in time to before my DH met BM. She screwed him up in the head so bad, I don't think that 10 years of counseling would fix that boy.

The only reason I even considered dating him after I found out he had kids is because I had one of my own.