DH, why would I want to stay married to you, if I can be treated better if we divorce?

His answer was EVERYONE treats co-workers/Strangers/friends better than the person they live with.

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Stupid and not true.  

He treated (and still needs some reminders) E V E R Y O N E better than me. He'd stop me or himself mid-word if someone else came up to talk. And totally leave our conversation. No apology, no asking the other person to wait. 
If anyone asked him to do something he'd totally ignore anything he had told me he'd do or agreed to do that I'd asked him. Except if he knew others would see him, then he'd do stuff that was for me. 
It took years of pointing it out, doing whatever it was he and I were discussing without his input, putting other people as my POAs, calling him out publicly, and asking him pointed questions about how he handles coworkers and comparing specifically to me to get him to change a bit. Much of it was just going ahead with whatever I wanted because he paid no attention.

I think a nuanced answer would say that the people that we are intimate with do see us at our worst but they should also see us at our best. In a good relationship the best side of ourselves should far outweigh the worst. We should also work so that we learn how to be considerate to others even when we are angry or arguing with them. 

Most people are polite and somewhat helpful (in a work context) to their coworkers as that is what is required to get on at most places of buisness. We hide our worst selves from coworkers because the trust and intimacy is not there to allow us to show it and because we want to stay employed. 

Personally I expect respect from my partners and want to work together with my partner for our mutual benifit. I want (and have - yay!) a relationship where we are nice and kind to each other with our actions and words the majority of the time. I know some couples who have a running "joke" of being rude to each other, but ultimately are kind in action and if that is their joint sense of humor then good for them. Then I also know others who are just not nice to each other and it always makes me wonder why they treat each other like that and why they stay together. 

In work places there is a standard behavior that is expected (sometimes it is literally written down in a document) and if we break these rules then there are standard proceedures to deal with breaches with escalating consequences if the behavior is severe or fails to be adressed. I think a lot of people in relationships fail to set up these type of boundaries at the begining and fail to address bad behavior when it happens and/ or fail to follow through with consequences. 

Yup, same issue here. H can go on these streaks of being really snide to me. I mean literally we'll go to be and he'll be all like "Oh I love you so much. We have such a happy home" and then the next morning snap at me for asking him a simple question and just plain make me feel stupid. I often think "What did I do in the middle of the night to make him act this way?" There have been times when I have tried to help with something outside and of course everything I did was wrong and he was agitated and snapping at me, but then a neighbor would come out and all of a sudden he would call me Sweetie and talk to me like normal. I would think whatever passed but nope, we'd go inside and he'd resume his snapping at me. Quite honestly I don't know how he can turn face so quickly. If I'm mad at him then I'm mad at him in front of others. I'm not going to play the "Oh we want everyone to think we have a perfect relationship so let's put on a show"!

No, that is not normal and certainly not what everyone else does. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend and team-mate in life. I hate to say it, but it sounds like he views you more of a doormat than a spouse. I certainly would have words with him and explain that's not normal behaviour.

Umm... sadly, you married an idiot.