I found this online offering a slight twist:

Men Have Emotions, But Women Don’t Listen

“Men aren’t good at expressing emotions.” “Men only talk about sports.” “Men need to be more sensitive.” “Men are all jerks.” We’ve all heard these platitudes and they’re grade-A nonsense.

There’s an ever rising population of aggro men in this country and women have no one to blame but themselves. Men are hurt, angry and confused- even if they don’t know why- and with good reason.

1) Men have emotions. Women need only adjust how they listen. Men express plenty of feelings; they just do it differently than women and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You know how Eskimos supposedly have 4 dozen words for snow? It’s the same thing for women and feelings. They have over 4 dozen ways to describe happy, angry, sad–4 dozen reasons why they’re mad at their co-worker today.

When a woman says, “men need to be more sensitive and in touch with their emotions,” I hear, “men need to be more like women.” Bad idea. If women want to be with men who can talk about their feelings and daily minutia just like their best girlfriend, then why don’t they just get together with their girlfriend?

2) Men are more solution-focused while women are process-focused. There have been numerous studies (of questionable methodology) asserting that women use more words than men per day. Recent research finds such assertions are unfounded. Men and women actually use about the same number of words a day. It’s not a matter of women being more verbal; generally speaking, we’re equally verbal.

Here’s the difference: women use words to process their feelings, often wallowing in emotions without reaching resolution. Men state their feelings and use words to achieve resolution. As a collective, women have told men that not talking about feelings as much as they do makes them inadequate. For the record, a glut of feelings without resolution is meaningless.

Society doesn’t tell women, “Hey, instead of blathering about your feelings and problems all day, why don’t you get off your ass and do something about them.” I don’t walk around saying, “I don’t know how to fix my car,” like I’m an abnormal defective. Yet, I’ve heard countless men parrot, “I’m not good at talking about my feelings” in a tone that sounds like they’ve been beaten into submission. Women say this to the men they supposedly love without batting an eyelash and men just swallow it. Can you imagine the female outrage if men did the same thing to women by saying, “You’re not good at being rational.”

How It Happened

Thirty years ago, Psychology became “feminized.” Women entered the field in droves in the late 1970s. Now, women greatly outnumber male mental health professionals, and let’s face it, the men who enter the field may as well have a uterus, that’s how estrogen-ized the field has become.

Thus began the “men need to be more sensitive and get in touch with their feelings” re-education movement. Female mental health “experts” surfaced in the proliferation of daytime talk shows and male characters cried openly on television shows like 30something to get in touch with their “sensitive side.”

The Lie and the Truth

In this confluence of events, men tried to become the sensitive guy modern women claimed to want, but did they? In reality, most women don’t want men who cry when they watch “Beaches.” In fact, most women don’t want to be with men who would willingly watch Beaches or a Lifetime network movie.

They don’t want men to be unfeeling robots, but want them to be men–strong and reliable, yet capable of tenderness. The result? American men, once stalwart bull mastiffs, turned into angry confused Pekingese drowning in a sea of mixed signals unleashed by women.

I sympathize with men. As a group, they were put into a no-win situation by women who didn’t understand their changing roles or what they wanted.

Accept and embrace the differences. Why swim upstream? It’s a lot easier to appreciate and desire men in all their glories and faults, then to try to make them become “like us.” It makes relationships easier. It makes life easier. It makes it easier to forgive and to love.

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Very interesting post and I love that both men and women are responding to it.

My husband and I couldn't be farther apart. Sex is good (thank God!) but emotional closeness is not. The only reason sex is still good is because I read Cosmo (lol) and know that if that goes, all is lost.

BUT....do I feel my needs are being met? No....I don't.

Many times I try to approach my husband in a non-threatening way to connect, feel like we're on the same team and feel loved. I NEED to feel this to be the the kind of woman HE needs. He always looks like a deer caught in headlights and either responds defensively or runs to his man-cave and we don't speak for days.

So....if we're this different, how do we make it work?

Inquiring minds REALLY need to know...

Ohhh...Poems!

Here's one that is a little more mature and indicative of a true man's emotions when in love:

When I Fall In Love
by Melvin Lee

When I fall in love,
I want to be
with her
always;

In happiness,
to smile with her,
and be the one
to hug her near.

In sadness,
to cry with her,
and be the one
to dry her tears.

When I fall in love,
I will spend my
every waking
and sleeping
moments
with her

and catch each
moment in its
eternally
lovely
form.

When I fall in love,
I will miss her
the very moment
I say 'goodbye'

and my heart
will yearn for
the very moment
I say ?hello'.

When I fall in love,
all my old hurts
and pains
will seem
lost and
faded
away

and I will be
strong and
brave
once
again.

When I fall in love,
I want you
to be happy
always, ever

and feel like
the happiest
person
of them
all . . .

Because that's

what I will feel,

when I fall in love,

with you.

Thanks for the vote of confidence

One comment on the sex issue and I truly do believe this to be true;

Men NEED sex to feel close to/in love with their partner and women NEED closeness/physical and verbal affection to DESIRE sex with their partner. When a woman doesn't feel this intimacy, she feels justified in refusing sex BUT....when a man doesn't bond sexually, he doesn't feel that closeness (in love). It's not personal; it's actually scientific (just the way women/men are made).

It becomes a vicious circle. Understanding these basic needs and meeting them (regardless of how you're feeling at that moment) is actually a step towards getting what you need/want in your relationship. The problem is....who takes the first step? We can all be so stubborn! lol

Men; this means that if you want sex you should start early. A kiss, an 'I love you' spontaneously, a kind gesture, a compliment and/or words of appreciation will get you a great night of sex!

Women; this means that if you're feeling distant from your man, it's very important to initiate sex to feel that closeness again. Even if it seems like an effort to start, you'll be happy with the end result because you will feel close afterwards.

I learned this long ago and so I never withhold sex. If I'm REALLY upset with him, I might start without him (Did I say that??...lol) and then he can't resist joining in and it all works itself out...lol.

Also a comment in regards to #7 by Old Dart...

I don't think all women are like this? Or maybe it's because I've run a company for so long now but....

I am a woman but I'm a problem-solver. It drives me crazy when my husband goes on and on about a problem but never fixes it!

Example; he quit his job a few years ago because he wanted to work in my company. All I've heard for these few years is how he doesn't like this job or that job within the company. I've tried sitting down with him to say okay; it's a big company with a lot of different areas of law so which one do you like? He'll pick an area but then still complain. I've even made him a resume so he can find something he likes but he has yet to apply (it's been a year or more). This drives me crazy as I love what I do and I find his attitude has a negative impact on the company/staff.

I prefer a more logical approach. Do I sometimes need to talk about how I'm feeling? Yes, of course, I do. Everyone does.

I did learn a technique through the course of dealing with employees/colleagues that works very well with your spouse and even your children to teach them to solve their own problems.

Listen to what they have to say but say NOTHING. Nod your head, show facial expression of sympathy and throw in a "Hmmm", "Oh no! Really?" here and there. RESIST the urge to solve the problem even if you feel there's an obvious solution!

And then when they appear to wind down (might feel long but it's only on average 3-5 minutes; much less than if you had had jumped in to stop the dialogue, say only these words "Wow, that's a real problem. You sound really angry/scared/sad. Don't worry if you get the emotion wrong. They will correct you and this usually initiates them saying "I should do this...or that" (problem solving on their own). Again, RESIST the urge to correct or offer up your own solution. Just listen, nod.

If they don't start their own dialogue of problem solving you can say "Have you figured out yet how you're going to handle it?" One more pause as you listen for their response then "Is there anything I can do to help?"

You will be AMAZED at how well this works! You won't have to listen FOREVER because the person feels that their feelings have been recognized and they feel justified in being heard. And by your response, you've got them thinking about a solution on their own. You'll find that you'll talk about emotions less and less and have more positive conversations.

It seems so simple yet it really works.

" however my thoughts are that a man seeking reassurance from their partner thru sex is the same as the very young or insure ladies who do the same"

I disagree with this...because often times even mature women also feel the need for sex to stay connected-but I found it true for for the majority of men-mature and young alike...it's part of their make-up and who they are-they aren't like us.

A cheating experience doesn't negate the science behind this.