Honestly I stay because I love DH. After being on the site I realize for the situation he is great. He really discusses and follows parenting decision we make together. He asks my opinion on handling BM and respects my wishes.

I just don't believe that divorce would solve anything in my life. Perhaps going back in time and not marrying my DH would lol! I have looked at my situation soberly and realized that it would complicate my life further. Besides, my husband does love me very much and that is good enough reason to stay.

I stay beause I love my DH and the son we have together.

But I've promised myself, once SS10 is 18, if he does not move out, I will.

During the 14 years we were paying huge CS and trying to get SSs to see us EOW as ordered (trailed off for oldest SS at age 14 and youngest SS about age 12) I put up with all the BS from them and BM because I REALLY love my DH, and I've said a million times I'd much rather have to deal with all of that and be with DH than not have him, and that's never waivered. (Well, almost! lol.) Also, I expected we wouldn't see much of or hear from SSs once they turned 18 and CS stopped, which has been the case. We see them 2-3 times a year--Christmas and birthdays. Also, I believed my DH when he swore to me that once the CS stopped, he'd refuse any attempts by BM to ask him for money and would insist that SSs discuss it with him.

We are almost 2 years after CS ended, and he's lived up to his promises completely. BM only contacted him ONCE after youngest SS turned 18, and that was to ask him about paying a medical bill for youngest SS, and DH told her to have SS contact him to discuss it with him, figuring SS wouldn't bother, and he didn't. I almost hate to say it for fear of jinxing it, but DH and I finally have the life I always dreamed it could be. At 16 years married, we are happier than ever. 99.9999% of our life is just DH, our 2 DSs and I, living our lives. And, we finally have the money to do things, such as travel, which we were not able to do while DH was paying what we all knew was hugely inflated CS which he didn't argue about because he wanted to keep the peace. (During that time, I was working my tail off as a young lawyer and have now risen to become one of the senior owners in our law firm, along with DH, and paid off the huge law school debt I had, since I've worked for everything I have.)

And, one of the best surprises yet--when DH and I got engaged, he had virtually NOTHING--he gave BM EVERYTHING--their big house, their vehicles, all their savings. He could barely afford a tiny engagement ring for me, and sold one of his prized possessions to buy it. This year, he surprised me by buying a HUGE engagement ring (over 3 carats) that we paid cash for, which he specifically told me was for all my love and support over the years, and though we didn't ruin the moment by mentioning BM or SSs, I knew exactly what he meant. I tell my long story because I think it shows things really CAN work out if you stick together and support one another. It's not perfect, by any means, and I'm sure there will be more bumps along the way, but I'll do anything and everything to support my DH and will have his back, and he knows that, which makes us as strong as ever.

Thank goodness I found you!!!!!

I can't tell you what a relief it is to know I'm not the only one living with step monsters. In ten years I have never complained to anyone. My partner never says anything and I hate him for leaving me to deal with all this emotional mess in silence by myself. If I had my time over I wouldn't even consider getting involved but in the meantime while I decide whether I stay or go it's a relief to have somewhere to share and see how others deal with similar situations.

I stay because I love my child more than I dislike SD and what DH has done to me in the past. Despite what he has done, I do love DH. Our live is great when SD isn't around or being an idiot. I would have been better off not marrying him and just being in a long term partnership.

I can't imagine divorcing DH and him having our baby every other weekend and not having my eyes on SD while my baby is there.

I'm better off than he is, so coming into money doesn't really help. And we live in a community property state, so he'd get half anyway. But if I came into money before I married him, I wouldn't have married him and just had a baby on my own.

I am like Sally, I love my SO. I believe in my wedding vows "thru sickness and health"; my DH is disabled and has been for 30 of the 36 years we have been married. His health is getting worse and I want to care for him, I think he deserves good treatment. DH is a good person and had always provided for his kids, BM, and myself, without shorting anyone.

We have had tragic loss, sickness, and I have a horrid grown SD; with all of that said, we've had more happy years than not.

I've earned my way with my career, we are now retired, and my DH is too tired and sick to enjoy our retirement. DH tells me he is glad I've been beside him and been so patient over the years.

There is usually more to people's stories than anyone knows. I look at strangers every day and know that I DO NOT know their story; therefore, I never judge and try to be thankful for what I have.

I deal, daily, with DH's illness and a SD that hates me. I have set boundaries with the SD and DH and myself are at peace with each other.

It is what it is! Now you know why I stay. Love my man, no matter how much I vent.