Why do these kids drive my up the wall?
Hi everyone. I'm brand new to this and in serious need to vent my frustrations.
I have been with my partner for over four years now and she has 2 boys aged 14 & 10. She had been seperated from her husband for over a year when we got together and are now divorced. To begin with the boys were alright and were ok to be around. But over the past 2-3 years they've become a complete nightmare.
It's come to a point now that I just don't want to be in the same room as them.
I don't understand why they act the way they do and it only seams to be at home. They are completely selfish, they have no thought or consideration for me or their mum and are entirely disrespectful. They can't do as they are told and if anything is said to them all you get is a mouthful of cheek and abuse. They just don't know how to follow the simplest of instructions and when you confront them on something they have done (even witnessed) they deny it to your face. They sulk, they moan, they are unapreciative, they expect everything done for them, they expect you to jump when they want something. The worst thing though is their mother just tries to ignore it and they never get punished properly (or if they do it's forgotten about or not enforced as their mum just wants a quiet life. Plus I'm not allowed to punish them or if I say anything to them I get the row from my partner for being too harsh when it was really quite tame. They get spoilt by their grandparents and don't know the meaning of earning something, just putting out their hand and getting what they want.
This december I also became a dad myself when my son was born. I've been feeling like I was gonna be an awful dad as I can't even handle my partners kids. I adore my wee boy to bits and will do everything for him. Since his arrival the boys have gotten worse and my patience/tollerence is running thin. I'm afraid I'm going to snap. I've even been looking at leaving and getting my own place but I can't leave the my wee man. Just feeling like things are getting worse and I can't cope with them.
Any suggestions on how to deal with all this? I'm totally at a loss and fed up!!!
I am almost in the same
I am almost in the same situation my boyfriend has two kids 5 and 6 and I hate to say I can't stand them, but I realy can't be around them they drive my insane and I am currently pregnant with my first and terrified that I will be like that towards my own child so hearing from you saying you love your son makes me feel better, but I'm not liking the sounds of the kids getting worse!
I get your in a tough spot and if its only your partners child driving you out and not your partner maybe you should talk to her and see how she feels about it? I wish I could be of more help, but I am looking for the same answers.
First I would talk to your
First I would talk to your partner and try to work out something. If that doesn't work, seek a family therapist. Our life has changed for the better since we started seeing a therapist. At first I was embarrassed and thought it was a sign of weakness going to therapy, but it has been a blessing and enriched our lives. I have learned so much!
Best of luck! I hope things work out for you!
Are we living the same life
Are we living the same life LOL! You just get to a certain point from boldly in so much that u want to explode! You feel like you have to hold it in because of how much it will anger your partner and or the take your input defensively rather than as a suggestion to make life a litter easier for everyone.... I wish I could say it gets better.... But it doesn't you just start resenting everyone a little more each day... At first I felt guilty but now I don't!