Well at least you know you are an idiot It doesn't get any better does it. If dad doesn't change his parenting style you are stuffed. My husband for 8 years did not support me, in fact worse stil he let his daughter abuse me terribly while he sat back and watched. Last August I banned her from my home, she is 29. Now he is the one suffering the consequencdes of the self entitled, ill mannered, rude, selfish, greedy, obnoxious behaviour of his off spring. I on the other hand have just woken up to the fact that he is my biggest problem, sure they treated me badly, but HE allowed it. Good Luck I hope for yoursake something dramatic changes here.

I have this article in the "favorites" section of my taskbar - THATS how great it is.

http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html

this is a definite step-by-step article. It has been a LIFESAVER for me!!!!!!!!!

This is why I disengaged. Not appreciated, just another person who is supposed to kiss her arse. NOPE.

You an either do it a little at a time and build up to doing nothing, or you can cut her off all at once. I did it all at once and I didn't announce it either. I just started doing it.

Once you start, you have to maintain. And don't give in. If dad whines, gets mad, makes you feel guity... that means its working. Whatever the skid does to bait you, just maintain.
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Things I no longer do when disengaged.
1. Wash Dishes that SO and skids make
2. Getting used towels that SD leaves in her room from the weekend
3. Getting dishes left in their rooms
4. Their laundry before they go back to BM
5. Give advice or input in conversation with skids
6. Have conversations with skids.
7. Give input or advice to SO. If asked, I give the most objective and brief answer possible.
8. Correct their inappropriate behavior, burping at the table, rude comments about other people etc.
9. Spend the whole weekend with skids. I do one activity maybe two. Other than that I find something else to do.
10. Put items away that are left on bathroom or kitchen counter
11. Clean for their visit. Whatever cleaning is done is what I would do normally whether they are coming or not.
12. Do favors or parental duties, e.g. Teach SD how to drive, take her to the mall, or entertain her because SO wants to spend time with SS or run his own errands.
13. respond to any negative behavior, eye rolling, huffing, etc.
14. watch or listen to material with skids that makes me uncomfortable because it is age inappropriate.
15. Cook unless SO helps with cooking and clean up.

What I will do
1. If skid asks for medical attention, I will give it
2. If skid talks to me to joke in a friendly manner with me or to ask about me, i will respond in kind.
3. If skid talks to me disrespectfully, they will be told they can cease talking to me until they want to do so respectfully.
4. If skid enters a room i will say hello if I have yet to acknowledge their presence for that day.
5. If skid asks a general question and SO is not around, i will answer. If its for permission or something more involved, I will send them to their dad.
6. If skid invites me to play an activity outside, I will do so. AS long as we are all being respectful of one another.
7. Leave the room if I find any topic of conversation uncomfortable, inappropriate. If I can't leave the room, my headphones go with me (car situations) and those go on.

I retain the right to remove myself from any duties or situations where I feel I am not being respected or appreciated.

I also made plans with friends on the weekends. Didn't do much in the way of family outings. Maybe a dinner. Even during dinner I would read my kindle instead of paying attention to their conversations.

Why is a good question. Stop for a while and see what happens!! Disengage and save your wallet and sanity!!!!

Let the skid have the consequences of not appreciating you. They will feel it, I promise you!!!!! whether they are honest about it or not.