Why am I here?
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Why do I always feel that my marriage to my DH is innappropriate???
That its just not as important as the marriage he had with the ex bitch bc they had children???
And wen visiting the MIL and FIL after 2 years there is still no big wedding picture of us up in their home....nor is there any large pics of us at all?
I just feel so temporary....
Sometimes I feel I have as much respect and status as a girlfriend who lives on the other side of town.
I made the decision after
I made the decision after this Xmas that I will no longer attend any functions at my in laws, due to this same issue. We have been together for 6.5 years, and married for almost 4. They basically pretend that I am not even there. They say hi to Dh and the kids, but not to me.
They purposely prepare food that they know I can't eat, so I end up literally sitting through dinner with an empty plate. I don't even get offered something to drink. I sat through this past Xmas with nothing to eat or drink for almost 6 hours while 5 months pregnant. At first it was a lack of them altering what they made to accomodate my restriction (and I was ok with that, thought it was rude, and is never treat a guest like that, but I accepted it), and now its to the point that they intentionally plan the meals so that there is literally nothing I can eat.
They are all fluent in both Spanish and English, and will switch to Spanish when I enter the room, even though they know I don't speak Spanish.
There are no pictures of bioson in their home, even though he is their biological grandchild too.
My Dh won't support me in regards to them, so I told him I was done. I will not go to their home anymore. And while.my Dh isn't agreeing to this, my bio children will not be going without me either. Luckily they don't invite us to things often, so it won't really be an issue till bioson2 is born in May.
I am a vegetarian. They make
I am a vegetarian. They make sure that everything they serve has meat in it, even things no normal person would put meat in. Mashed potatoes have chopped Bacon and bacon grease added to them, salads have hotdog pieces mixed in, they will add pieces of pork/roast (whatever the main meet dish is) to the rice, veggies will be served sitting in chicken broth ect ect. All things they used to prepare noramally, but after a falling out with my Dh and subsiquent reconnection, EVERYTHING served in a manner that I can't eat.
Seems like they decided to blame me for the fall out even though it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Easier to blame the evil new wife, rather than see the the issue was caused by their behavior and Dh. Also, a think they don't approve of the fact that Dh married outside his race.
Peanutandsons.....YOU HIT THE
Peanutandsons.....YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD....
ITS easier to blame the new evil wife than to think that their wonderful pride and joy son would have said/done/did/suggested such a thing....
They just feel they have the right to tell their son and his family where to live and where not to live....what day he has to come around to visit....where we can go on our vacations....etc etc.....
its upsetting....
Yeah, they cook Spanish
Yeah, they cook Spanish foods. I actually cook a lot of Spanish foods in my own home. It's more the disrespect that bothers me.... That they go out of their way to be that way. I've thought about just bringing food for myself, but then I just decided what's the point. I shouldn't have.to bring my own food to a dinner thatci was invited to. They don't want me there.... And now its to the point I don't want to be there. Even my Dh admitted, that they have never prepared food that way.... So its directed at me.
I do know a bit of spanish but not evough to participate in a rapid fire conversation. At best I can follow the jist of what they are talking about.
I have the same problem with
I have the same problem with my in laws they keep PHOTOS of his X around the house and every conversation is about her in some way shape or form even when the kids are not there and they still do things for her even though they supposedly cant stand her and I just get tired of it. They have mentioned I'm "quiet" during conversations around dinner etc and I have told them all including my husband well that's because I can't relate don't know anyone on her side of the family, have no idea who you're talking about and how can i relate to vacations or family holidays spent with her I was not there. Only way you can stop feeling like you don't fit in is to tell someone right? But I did that and nothing has changed. When the kids are present I feel even more left out naturally they bring up remember when you and mom went here or you and mom did this and ..... I mean its just uncomfortable feeling and I know the kids are just kids they don't think about stuff like that eventhough my husband will say that was in the past..ya know he knows it makes me uncomfortable but his parents still act that way, it's never ending I met him 3 years after the fact of their divorce but I'd swear just by the convos I have to hear seems like only yesterday they split.
Look the inlaws arent too
Look the inlaws arent too bad....they took the pics down of the ex bitch...they hate her..(yay)..but I cant help but feel my ideas/attitude/decisions/future plans are considered not worthy...or that my DH and I decisions are not made jointly....that our decisions are just mine and are insignificant....
EG: my dh and I are interested in purchasing a nice house in a great area that would suit us and our lifestyle....I actually love it......but they obviously dont appreciate the area and therefore acted uninterested and questioned me over such a thought....in a way that I felt they were going out of their way to talk me out of it....
So now I feel as if my whole future will be directed according to MIL and FIL and SIL opinion on what my DH and I decide to do, buy, go on holidays to, cook for dinner, where we live, what car I drive, what color my hair is....
does anyone else get this stuff?
oh and why aernt their more pictures of your son and me on your walls.....?
I just feel like the best way to sort this out is to move to the other side of the country....
I had in-laws from hell. It
I had in-laws from hell. It was a long time before they accepted me. But, it was a constant work in progress. Ultimately, we became close...I had to overlook a lot of things and learn to ignore her responses to me. As for the pictures, go to shutterfly and make some cheap copies and frame them and I am sure they will be put up.
If not, then just stay away from them until the situation gets better.