Who else has a bio grand mother from hell?
My dear mother inlaw has been so evil towards me since I first began dating my wife. According to her, my wife never should have left the father of her children, his alcoholism was treatable, she didn't believe he hit her, his cheating was a sickness, the kids deserve to be with their real father, on and on. I moved in with my wife and her two kids before we married, that was hell to pay. I married my wife and made vows to her and her children. Mother inlaw has gone as far as telling the kids they don't have to listen to me, I am not their father, I have no right to tell them what to do. For years I asked my wife to talk to her mother, that this needed to stop. The other night mother inlaw and I finally had it out, ten years of anger came out. I need help... I need to vent. I need some explaination. My wife tells me I need to get over it, she did what she could.
My MIL is horrible and she is
My MIL is horrible and she is not allowed in our home. Thankfully they moved away and don't visit. But she treated me so very badly when we started dating that I can't get over it.
So I don't think there is anything wrong with putting your foot down and not allowing this person into your life. If your wife still wants to see her mother fine, but she doesn't have to be in your life.
My DH tries with his mom periodically and she is abusive to him about me and his situation with his daughter but he still tries. He knows they can come visit to see their grandchildren, but they can't stay here and I will not be around her.
Your wife is wrong you don't need to get over it. She needs to get over the fact that you and her mother will never get along and she needs to back you up. If she can't than she needs to understand that you do not want to be around your MIL.
We have zero relationship
We have zero relationship with my MIL. She liked me at first until things got serious and she realized that she didn't rule my DH anymore.
She basically sided with BM and became all buddy with here and talked my SS into going to live with his mom. She was just ugly to me and the worst part was she worked for the same company I did and in the same office. She was a temp when I met my DH - not thru her - and eventually was hired on. She left and tried to come back and I said if she did I was leaving.
We've seen her a few times thru the years - we've been married for almost 10 years and each time it doesn't take long for the ugliness to return and I basically tell DH, I'm done. We have 2 children that she's never seen and she tells anyone who will listen that I've ruined her relationship with her son.
PS - She's no longer friends with Bm because once BM got SS to live with her she had no need for MIL and totally cut her off from both of the SKids.
Your wife needs to back you up completely and refuse to allow her mother to treat you that way.
When I moved in with my wife
When I moved in with my wife before we got married the kids were 4 and 9. I knew we were serious and I was never one to say this is mine and that is yours so I had my paycheck direct deposit into her checking account and I asked her to take what she needed for rent and food and bills and just give me cash back when she went to the bank for my gas, coffee and lunches for the week. MIL would come down and stay with us for a week or so and she would see my wife give me cash and never saw me give my wife anything and went around and told the whole family that I was living with her free, and getting her to give me money for my gas and cigarettes. I had SIL and BIL ready to kick my ass.