Which is better? Full time step kids or EOW?
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My Dh has his kids every other weekend. I know them living with us full time would come with its own set of problems I just can't help but think it would be easier concerning discipline and rules for them. If anyone would like to share the pros and cons they have experienced that would be great.
This is just for my curiosity. My dh parellel parents with their mom because they have a high conflict relationship. I don't ever see my dh getting anymore than weekend visits unless the bm goes to jail or dies. He's been told judges here don't order 50/50 custody unless both parents agree to it. So unless a disaster happens I think it will stay as is. Thanks for any replies in advance. 
Kids know what they can and
Kids know what they can and cannot get away with in different situations, places, and with which parent. If discipline and rules are a problem at your house, I'd have to say that is on your DH.
We had my SD EOWE. I'm not sure that BM disciplined at all but SD knew how my DH disciplined and acted accordingly at our house.
I have not seen a lot of pros on this site as far as having the kids full time.
Thank you yes the stranger
Thank you
yes the stranger in the house thing is true. I have 3 kids and we have our own routine with what's expected and not allowed. My kids are expected to listen to and respect my dh but he's pretty much on the same page with me so he doesn't have to fuss at them much. The step kids come in and it seems it takes all weekend to get them into the routine of being here. Then off they go back to their moms.
I dunno. One the one hand, if
I dunno. One the one hand, if you have them full time, BM gets no more child support from your DH. That's money you can spend on more useful things. On the other hand, familiarity breeds contempt. Know what I mean? It's a lose-lose no matter what.
OMG you have to ask? Sorry,
OMG you have to ask?
Sorry, it's just that I had the SDs EOWE when they were 14 and 8. When they were 17 and 9, BM died and we got them full-time.
They are now 19 and 13 and all I can say is "FML."
I get that. My son and
I get that. My son and daughter are soon to be 16 and 14. Teenagers can be infuriating. At this point my steps are still young enough to wonder. I may feel totally different in a few years.
I would love EOWE. As SO and
I would love EOWE.
As SO and I are back to dating amd not living together EOWE would be heaven.
EOWE I think would be ideal -
EOWE I think would be ideal - we have SD every weekend and it's tough as we never get a day free to ourselves.
My brother and I talk about
My brother and I talk about this all the time. He has 3 fulltime stepdaughters, with little contact with their BD. DH and I have sd16 EOW. I'm usually ready to hang myself after each visit with her. My brother figures because in his case it is just one house, one set of rules, it's easy to manage and maintain. SD16 has 2 lazy parents and a life of inconsistency.
We do both 50/50 during
We do both 50/50 during Summer and we do 5/2 during the school year (Mon-Fri/weekends). DH and I keep SS during the school year for the week and I actually prefer it instead of the 7 days on and off during the Summer. This is the third year (he's 3 years old soon to be four) that we are court ordered to do this and it's if it were up to us, we would keep 5/2 all year round with just a week for vacation. I know it sounds crazy but it is so much easier when we have him during the week. He acts like a decent little human. He keeps on schedule: we wake up around the same time, eat breakfast/lunch/snack/dinner around the same time, and he gets the sleep he needs when he is with us. Now that it's 7/7, he comes back with dark circles around his eyes with belly aches. The first day back every week he goes to bed at 8:30 and doesn't wake up until like 10am unless I want to wake him up at our normal time 8am but then he's a crabass all day. Not to even mention the standard of living is polar opposite. All he wants to do is veg out in front of the TV, expects my phone when we get in the car or his iPad to be charged waiting for him. Well when he's at our home we only watch tv before breakfast (while I breastfeed the baby) and before he gets picked up for BMs so he doesn't get his clothes dirty. We also don't charge his iPad for him. Our iPad just resurfaced after 6 months of being missing...we just don't ever use it because we are out doing things instead. Another thing is the attention...he expects us to stare at him every waking moment during 7/7 but during the school year he's quite independent. I can usually direct him to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast and put his shoes so we can go out for the day. I don't know usually after day two he's back to his normal 5/2 self but those first days back on 7/7 each week really buzz kill the whole house. I find me and DH disagree a lot more on those days because he's more whiny and it irritates both of us.
I know every house is different and like yall we only parallel parent with BM because she refuses to agree about anything or does the opposite of what we do in spite. We just deal with it because there's no point in saying anything. Some of our issues are relatively easier than other situations on here because he is so young and still impressionable but as a whole 50/50 sucks and I'm so glad BM screwed herself out of it in court because she thought DH would only get every other weekend.