What do you and your bf/dh/gf/dw fight about?
my dh and i fight mostly about stupid stuff! like for instance, last night i was upset because my mom's dog found my retainer and chewed it up, so now i have to buy a new one. I told my dh that. (we live apart right now because of my schooling) So he knew I was upset. I was in the shower and he called, I answered 'hey im in the shower' he was like 'i dont care'. and I was like like 'let me call you back' and he said 'no' *pause* 'well your making me mad so bye'. it was so stupid. Maybe I shouldnt of answered the phone like that (??) but I didnt expect him to react that way and actually get MAD maybe annoyed, but MAD that I couldn't talk to him at that second!? It seems like this distance is driving us apart, we fight more now that we are apart then when we were living together.
So what do you guys fight about with your partners?
SA!! So you told her, huh??
SA!! So you told her, huh?? I bet that was an interesting conversation to say the least... I was wondering where your blog went. What did your DH say to it all?
PS - good for you! I'm
PS - good for you! I'm actually happy to hear you tell her instead of it going through DH. Now you don't have to back down or hide your feelings or anything. I hope it felt as good to you as I would think it would have been...
SA - you know what they say -
SA - you know what they say - the opposite of love isn't hate. The opposite of love is INDIFFERENCE. Now that you are feeling apathetic, you will be free...
Wow! You are living my life!
Wow! You are living my life! I did the same thing a few weeks back and have felt a sense of relief ever since.
Mine once got really,
Mine once got really, seriously pissed off because I missed his phone call twice because I had left my purse in the bedroom and was in the kitchen cooking him dinner. He was trying to find a UPS pickup location and needed me to look online.
I was like, "are you serious?!"
If I had to guess, I'd say your DH is feeling insecure and wanted to reach out to you to reinforce in his own mind that he's important to you. So when you basically said "hey, I gotta go" his desire was frustrated.
Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. But also pretty easy to adjust. Imagine you said "oh HI baby, HEY, what's up honey?" like, really loud, and *then* told him, "oh yeah it's really hard to hear you because I'm in the shower."
Stupid, but effective. It strokes the male ego.
Mine likes to feel like he's the center of my universe even if he knows he can't be first 24 hours a day. Responses like that make him feel good even if the fact is I can't talk to him at the moment.
I think we all fight for stupid reasons, because we're not really fighting about what's on the surface. We're fighting because whatever need we were trying to get met, didn't get met. We'd fight less if we recognized our own and each other's actual needs more, and were more sensitive and open about them.
You may be more likely to fight now because every moment you *do* have together is that much more important.
Good luck...
L
My wife and I argue about
My wife and I argue about housework, our son, and sometimes about my ILs.
Nothing major, more venting and emotional frustration than true fights.
As my earning potential has increased, I eliminate issues by outsourcing. Lawn care, laundry and next ... house cleaning. Interestingly I get crap from my bride for "not stepping up and pawning it off on someone else". I look at it as solving a problem that lets spend our free time doing things that we want to do.
First NO kid should be
First NO kid should be allowed in the bedroom!
But we mainly fight now about the time it takes him to pick up his kids! It really chaps me when it takes 2 damn hours or more to pick them up!
This is how it goes, dh will call me on fri. and say as soon as he picks his kids up he will be home and he can take me to work so we can spend some time together. (dh always takes me to work on fri. and sat. night) He knows I have to be there a 7pm! He likes to take me to dinner and then drops me off but if it takes that long to pick them up there is NO time for anything! Ok fine let me just go to work and leave before you get here. Nope no can do HE wants to take me.
So when I call to find out where the heck he is he get all mad that he is picking up his kids and there fore I must hate them! WTF????? Really???
NO I don;t hate your kids, I hate the fact that you make plans with me knowing what time I have to be to work but you can't get your ass in gear to get out so you CAN take me to work on time!!
I have tried so many times to just go ahead go to work without him but then all I hear is you don;t want to spend time with me?? oh man come on! It is one way or the other! :?
My DH is very handy around
My DH is very handy around the house - took both bathrooms down to sub floors and built them back up into beautiful bathrooms. Can do most anything around the house - all of my girlfriends are very jealous and all want to have him come and help around their homes. Now I trust all of my friends and I still say hell no - get your own handyman. I am very very aware of our marriage and how much it means to me and I also know that sometimes feelings can happen with a man and woman and they both might not have been looking for it but it can happen. Actually it happened to me a long time ago - I knew this couple and I was never attracted to the woman's boyfriend (she happened to be my boss and landlord) so one night I went down to the local pub for a drink and the BF was there (he had an office right outside my apartment on the third floor of this building that his girlfriend owned) I never felt anything for him nothing - well that night we had a few drinks and I started to feel an attraction and I could tell he was too. I quickly left the bar when the feelings starting coming and gave him a wide berth after that - it was so weird because we only casually said hello before that night. I sometimes do believe that there is a law of attraction - something unexplainable the you can't control but need to. So that is why I don't allow hubby to go and spend anytime at my girlfriend's house.
I don't think anything would happen but I don't take us for granted. I am an intelligent, caring, pretty woman and I picked a really kind, compassionate, very very intelligent, hard working, cooks dinners on weekends because he knows I am tired, sews with a sewing machine, irons and washes his own clothes, puts up with me and all of my craziness, lets me pretty much buy whatever I want (I try to be good but I like things that make me look young and they don't come cheap (ie:botox) and the only man in the world that I would want my daughter to have as a father and last but not least a very good looking guy to spend the rest of my life with. Many woman check out my husband and I know a few of the women at his job are very attracted to him so I am always vigilant. He never gives me anything to worry about but ever since that experience with my old boss's BF - I just never want either of us to be in a position where something could happen.
The same goes for me - I don't put myself in situations where any feelings could develop. Just not worth it to me.
saynothing - my husband
saynothing - my husband travels too all the time for work. He will be home tomorrow and Thursday and then we won't see each other until the end of October.
And SD lives with me. I know your pain girl!
DH and I argue about money.
DH and I argue about money. I want him to stop spending all of ours. This has always been our single greatest point of contention.
Um..... his psycho EX, his
Um..... his psycho EX, his spoiled/entitled children, his controlling mother. Not necessarily in that order, lol.
DH and I fought last night
DH and I fought last night because of many (stupid, little) things.
First of all, he got upset because I immediately started doing dishes when I came home. He got suspicious (he has major trust issues - thanks BM!) because I wasn't hanging around with him. Well, I could tell right away that he had an attitude! Who wants to be around that?? And I'd rather do dishes than deal with that crap! Which is saying a lot, I HATE dishes.
I thought it was over and done with then he says that he feels like he is doing a lot of work on the house (we are painting the exterior) to make me happy and I am just the same as I always am. I said, "What do you want me to do, kiss your ass??" Not the best way to respond but I HAVE been complimenting him, I have helped AND it's his house too!!
I also have some underlying issues that I don't know how to deal with that have made me easily irritated with him. Mainly because I just found out that him and BM had been broken up for only two MONTHS instead of the two YEARS that he told me. I would never have gone into a relationship that fast if I would have known the truth so I feel kind of betrayed, I guess.
Also, he just made a failed attempt to quit chewing which resulted in 6 weeks of him blowing up about most any little thing so I am still resentful about that!
His underlying issue is that his grandson is almost 6 months old now and he's gotten to see him ONCE for a few hours on Father's Day. SD has not responded to any texts or voice messages so we have no clue what the problem is.
I don't know about this. If things don't improve soon, DH may become FXH.
SKIDS -- we fight about liar
SKIDS -- we fight about liar sd & cry baby ss....
we don't fight so much about overbearing mil anymore.
and bm isn't actually a topic we fight about either.
it's just the miserable ass gnats that we fight about...
Don't fight so much anymore
Don't fight so much anymore about the SKIDS (LOVE THAT WORD!!!). Now, when something pisses me off, he gets the silent treatment, and I really think he'd rather have the verbal argument. They are adults, they are not worth my time or stress. Do I feel anger internally about this? Yes, I do....but I refuse to give them the time of day. As far as DH, get over it or get out!