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Want some advice, what would you all do?

anna's picture

This is my first time writing. I, of course, have a psycho, lying, BM to deal with. She, for some reason, doesn't like to use the insurance on my SD, that we provide for her. It's awesome insurance and pays for most of the bills. This time my SD needs new glasses, this is fine, but my insurance will only pay for new glasses every two years and her two years will be up at the end of Jan. I called the ins. and actually she will be eligible to get them as of Jan. 1st., but this is too long for the BM!!!! I mean my SD's prescription has changed (that's typical) and her lense pops out sometimes so we have to screw it back in (not an emergency) But everything is an emergency when she says it's an emergency!! She only needs them to see the blackboard and there's only five more weeks of school left if you exclude the holidays but, she couldn't wait! So she takes her to walmart and spends $200.00 dollars and sends us the bill and tells us to pay her our 65%. Which she doesn't ever care how much she spends because she only has to worry about 35% of the bills! And if she would have waited with our ins. there is a $10 copay for the exam, a $20 copay for the lenses and they cover up to $130.00 of the frames! And her frames only cost $70. So those were free! So, let's see, if she just would have waited a couple of weeks the total bill would only be $30.00!!!!! Now she wants us to pay this massive bill!!! What do you guys think if we would just send her a check of the 65% of what the bill would be after our ins. would have paid? Because I think it's ridiculous that she couldn't wait when there was no real emergency!
Thanks for any input!

GoingNuts's picture

What does your decree say. I know that my h's says reasonable medical treatment. This does not seem reasonable to me as she should have waited another month. I deal with the same thing everything is an emergency. My h's ex took my SD to the emergency room for a bug bite.

anna's picture

So it's just the generic juvenile court papers that state all medical, dental etc... will be split 65/35 and we pay cs and are the NCP's. So she just takes her then tells us! But, what judge would say, "yeah, go ahead and take her and pay full price even though she has ins. and it would've covered it" I mean really?

GoingNuts's picture

Did she give you all of the documentation? I guess if it was me I would only pay the portion that my insuarnce would have charged me. My h's ex tried to charge us for her own Dr. bills so we had to start requesting information from the Dr. office do you think this might have occured?

anna's picture

It had just my SD's name on it and it looked like it was just one visit and was legit. But, she still doesn't make sense to me. I think she just doesn't understand the ins. but, it doesn't excuse it!

GoingNuts's picture

I guess I don't understand why they ordered your H to pay 65% and carry insurance. That seems a little crazy to me. So what does the ex actually pay for? It's really a tough call. I guess I get fed up with the dr bills, my h's ex takes my SD at least twice a week for no reason at all. If you have an attorney to talk to I would.

anna's picture

She has tapped us out! Her husband makes twice what my husband makes so she gets to lay around at home (her youngest is in kindergarten,now) And the courts have to use the minimum wage scale for her earnings when they figure cs because she has no earnings but, yet she can hire a pricey attorney to take us to court every time we turn around for some stupid s***. But, we have to pay for everything because my husband has the actual wage and she doesn't even though she can work, she just chooses not to! Isn't life grand!!!!!!

GoingNuts's picture

My h's ex keeps taking us back to court. We actually go back to court in December and ex's attroney just requested our family photo albums so I know what you mean.

sshoho's picture

I feel bad for you cuz I would be in the same boat. However, I would just pay the bill. It sucks. I honestly couldn't afford a $200 bill out of the blue so if that is your case, make payments. The decree doesn't say how long you have to pay it...so take your time so it doesn't burden you financially.

kristina0121's picture

No way would I pay. You are already doing more than what you are asked by the courts. From now on I would just pay the insurance. If she doesn't want to use it, than that comes from her pockets. You are not obligated to pay that. And as for everything else, you pay child support to help with clothing, school, etc.. Everything else you buy is a gift to that child. From now on, pay child support and anything else that comes out of pocket, buy for the child. Do not give BM money for anything. If you want to put money toward clothing. Buy them yourself. Don't give her any more!! I understand wanting to give more, but the only way you will know what it is going for is to buy it and give it directly to the child. That way BM can't return it before the child sees it.

losingmymind's picture

I would not in any way pay for it. You would win in court if she tries to say that you refused to pay. You have a case because you carry the insurance. She can't just make decisions and force you to go along with them. They have JOINT custody. Just because she has residential that doesn't mean that she can ignore BF and just do things. We just went to court the other day and that was one of the things that was "clarified" to the BM. She took SD Diablo to get contacts and tried to make us pay for them and we won. We didn't agree and therefore did not have to pay.

The judge said that when there is an alternative to a cost then you have to go with that.

GoingNuts's picture

I would say that just because she likes to spend money it doesn't mean everyone else is made of it. Who is she to say what you are going to pay. She should have waited until January when the insurance would have picked it up. Document Document Docuement. I would even get something from the insurance company that states it would have covered at that time.