So, a little background here:

Five years ago DH and BM split. They had been married less than 2 years and had SD together (who was then 2yrs). My SS (then 7 yrs) was DH's from a prior relationship, but DH has had full custody of him since nearly the beginning. Anyhow, as they were splitting, BH decided she wanted to pack up and move back to her home state - 1500 miles away. When DH refused to move with her (they were divorcing after all and his family, extended family, SS's family, and so forth were all here) she packed her clothes, the big screen tv and SD in the car and drove away.

By the time SD finally was allowed to come for a visit, SD was 3 1/2, AS was nearly 9 and I was 7 months pregnant. Mind you during that in between time she still called DH every day with demands and rants and everything else under the sun. She even called because she forgot her credit card when she went to pick up her pizza to ask DH to pay for it - from 1500 miles away! When SD came to visit, it was for a great 6 weeks. BM still tried to control everything, but overall it was all good. SD went back to BM and life continued. It was hard to have her gone for DH, and I miss her I too, but I want really used to having SD There all the time, unlike SS. When SS went to visit his mom (who also lives 1500 miles away) I missed him like crazy.

Then, just after SD's 4th birthday, BM announces that she's moving back. SD needs her dad and its what's best. That was the Facebook reason anyhow. In truth the grass is always greener on the other side. Translation: she was unhappy, couldn't hold down a job, family quit agreeing to watch SD while she went out with her friends and the boy she liked just wasn't that into her. Suddenly, nearly overnight, we have SD every weekend and typically at least one additional day each week. Or whenever BM calls to say she can't do it. Which is lots.

Time passes and over the next 2 1/2 years we see SD a lot. I broke it down once. See, BM put SD is all day preschool and kindergarten (even though she didn't work) so the math was pretty interesting. Although BM is the custodial parent, we had SD from just after school Friday until school on Monday and for dinner one night during the week. BM has 6 meals and 15 hours of awake time (not in school). DH and I have 9 meals 32 hours of awake time. But of course she is custodial, receives CS, refuses to let DH see SD unless he does what she wants....until she wants her weekend back. SD has even chosen to call me mom (which shocked me, but was her choice and BM couldn't argue because she tries to get SD to call her new husband dad...Which SD won't). BM remarried, had another kid and one on the way when 2 months ago she announces our of the blue that she is moving again. Back 1500 miles away. And taking SD. Which means taking her away fromher siblings here too, including SS and BD (weighing is almost 3).

SD is now 6. She's bright, but in the last year alone BM moved her through 3 schools (because she wanted to), she is showing early signs of dyslexia, and her ability to focus is largely dependant on routine...and today we received the grade card... Turns out SD has had 23 absences and 19 tardies this year. We had no idea! We knew BM was always claiming SD was sick, but she was rarely sick at our house. BM is a bit of a hypochondriac.

What all of this leads to is my fear for SD and what this separation will mean. About what will happen if BM continues to play this back and forth game every few years. It's traumatic for us all. SS visits his mom every summer...Which means when SD visits us, he will be gone. BD is only a toddler and will hardly understand. SD doesn't get it yet, that she's moving. There are 1,000 bits of crazy that I won't miss about having BM close (this is really the one bright spot - losing the daily drama is just fine by DH and me both), but I just know out will l always be something.

So I wait, for Karma to please kick in, and give this selfish BM and all her vile hysterical bitter spiteful nature whatever she deserves.

-venting- -tip of the iceberg-