Trouble with the ex again
Hoping someone can give me some advice on this,
My fiance purchased a new phone for his 7 year old's birthday. And added her onto our family plan. The two older children already have phones and lines.
They were with us all weekend, our visitation weekend, she got the phone on Friday. She went crazy texts to everyone, calls, (at least 50 alone to her mom on Saturday and Sunday).
Her last text to me came in while I was at work, (she was at school, lunch), and said I love you. I text back I love you too. We also had been texting all weekend, while I was at work and at home, lol.
Problem occurred when her mother got a hold of the phone. She became very angry with my step daughter, calling her a traitor for texting I love you to me. She then confiscated the phone. We got a call Tuesday morning from the mother saying all three children were sick. My fiance picked them up and brought them home. I took care of them all day. I felt so bad for the little one. She just loves everyone, and her mother was just awful to her. Her father tried to get his ex to give her back the phone, but to no avail. I sent her an email. Nothing.
Question is, what is our recourse?
First of all, turn off
First of all, turn off service on the phone so BM can't run up your phone bill. Then let BM know she needs to return the phone to your DH or else legal action will be taken.
BM can tell SD she can't have the phone at her home & there's nothing you can do. But BM cannot take the phone & not give it to the owners of the phone, your DH & you.
Thanks, we have a family
Thanks, we have a family share plan, its unlimited, 2 years ago she took the oldest son's phone and gave it to her sister visiting from France. We did turn it off then. And another time when she took the middle girls phone for her own use when she broke hers. Its an ongoing problem. But, the phones are the only way he can communicate with them when they are not with us. We only get them every other weekend and Tuesdays. She does not let them use her house phone or her cell, so he bought them phones.
You are right, he needs to just ask for it returned to us.
Thanks, we went to court to
Thanks, we went to court to get court ordered therapy. BM fought it saying the kids didnt need it, but we won.
We are on the 2nd therapist, the first one, the kids told us that the BM threatened them with punishment if they didnt side with what she said. Onto the next therapist who seems good, but the BM just refuses to take the girls at all. The older son still goes.
I am worried that she will hate me, because her mother tells her not to hug me kiss me or love me. And gets angry at her when she does. Only the youngest she does this to
Thanks! Didn't know we could
Thanks! Didn't know we could do that! We spent over $30,000 in legal fees in 2012 just trying to get equal time and therapy for the kids. And our lawyer never told us we could get that put in. Thanks!!
Personally, I think it's
Personally, I think it's crazy to give a 7-year old child her own cell phone.
That said, you have to know that BM is going to search that phone to see what her child is doing with it & who she's communicating with & what's being said.
Obviously she isn't thrilled with her child telling you she loves you & has no qualms about punishing her child for doing so.
Clearly, the phone is going to create needless drama. She's 7. It's completely unnecessary & is getting her caught up in her mother's anger.
Have your DH get his phone back, It's his property. But really, he just needs to hold onto it. It's so easy to get caught up in technology anymore. It creates so much distance between people. I really wouldn't encourage a 7-year old to make a habit of clinging to one already.
I agree with her not having a
I agree with her not having a cell, but once he gets something in his head, its hard to convince him otherwise. Maybe after SD breaks it, he will learn his lesson, but I doubt it. We have all been on the same plan for over 2 years, (4 phones) I am the only one with the original phone, 3 phones broke out of warranty, DH, SD, SS. Then the youngest SD broke his Ipad. $200 each to replace. Drives me crazy.
I would hope that he'd
I would hope that he'd recognize that the situation can easily break his 7-year old child before the phone gets broken.
Phones can withstand a beating better than a child when it comes to jealousy & hate.
Thanks for the advice. I will
Thanks for the advice. I will definitely use your line with the youngest. The older two know better, they seem to just ignore BM when she acts like that. This is why I think she charges the youngest.
I talked to him about the phone last night, police involvement. We will definitely file the next time, it will happen again, we know it.
She did give it back to SD. She text and face time her dad last night about 7pm. Begging him not to use bad words with her BM. Apparently, BM told her about the angry texts between the two.
yes, BM can take it away, and
yes, BM can take it away, and IMO, she has every right to search it and know who her kid is talking to. was there even a discussion between your DH and BM about the appropriateness of the child getting this phone? regardless of any of this, BM shouldnt get mad at her kid for expressing feelings.
i too am in the anti-phones for kids bandwagon. if i had a kid, they'd only get a cell phoine once they start driving, and then ti would be a basic phone for calls only, and programmed to only dial certain numbers and 911. these kids today are addicted to devices and IMO, its not healthy. they of course learn much of it from their addicted parents, but i digress...
We agree that she has the
We agree that she has the right to see who she is texting, or internet or any of those things. The older two already received phones from their father when they were the same age. She never complained about them having it. She took the phone away from the child simply because the child said she loved me, the stepmom then proceeded to call the little girl a traitor. This is the problem.
BTW the phone has all the appropriate parental locks on it. So she cannot do anything on the internet that is not rated G, she is limited to how much she can text, etc. I made sure all the settings were correct before we gave it to her.