Suggestions of helping SS12 making friends
SS is in 6th grade and just turned 12 this month. SS never really had any true friends. He has never had friend(S) over to either our house or BMs. We have offered and nothing ever came of it. He talks of "friends" at school but nothing ever comes of it. He has been invited to a few (?) birthday parties and social at school but thats about it. SS goes to local summer camps every year and talks about "friends" at camp but nothing ever comes of it. SS is very shy, immature acting and can be a brat at times which I'm sure is a big part of no friends. We live in a large family friendly neighborhood in SS school district so I'm sure there are kids he knows around us. At SS's age we can't really bring him to a "play group" to meet other kids.
I'm looking for other bio's or steps who may have had kids around SS's age with the same problem and what did they do? For a kids around 12 who maybe shy what are some good whys/things to help them make friends and get them out of thier shell? SS even around adults is cautious but once he gets to know you hes fine.
My SD is 11 and she is the
My SD is 11 and she is the same - shy around other kids and has trouble making friends. Is he athletic? My first suggestion would be to get him involved in a team sport. I was a shy kid as well and I really came out of my shell when I started playing sports and being part of a team.
Does he actually want to make
Does he actually want to make friends? That is the issue with SS12 here. He has friends at school, but outside of school they snapchat or play online video games or maybe the occasional sleepover (like 4 times a year), but other than that, all SS wants to do is sit in his room and play video games. We have tons of kids on our block that play outside all summer long, but SS makes no effort to join in or talk to them. He expects my SO do play with him ALL the time in the summer. He has made the most friends through sports, but doesn't try hard to carry those friendships outside of school/sports. I've heard that his other friends hang out together more, but he doesn't. I'm sure it would take him away from video games too much. The effort needs to go both ways, so if your SS doesn't want to try, he probably won't get very far with new friends.
He seems to want to make friends but socially awkward/shy
Hes NEVER had a sleepover or snap chat/online video games with anyone. I THINK a few friends have called him TWICE and he went over to a kids house last year to work on a school project but thats it for social interactions outside of school/camp. SS is always willing to go if invited by friends but can't seem to keep it up except for a few times. is teachers in the past have noted he seems "loney" and does not like to join in on groups. Last year he went away with his class on a trip WITHOUT DH/BM which was a fight to get him to go but we forced him. Once there he really seemed to injoy himself but nothing(friends) came of it.
Invite a family over for a
Invite a family over for a BBQ or game night that has kids the same age as SS. That way you can all socialize over food and games and the pressure won't just be on ss to make friends. Volunteer as a family to help get ss integrated into the community and help break out of his shell. When my kids were younger we volunteered together at the Humane Society. Met some great people and really enjoyed the animals. Classes are great. My previously friendless son made tons of friends when I enrolled him in martial arts.