SS stealing any one else have this problem
SS12 has been getting worse about this as he’s getting older. SS12 as far as I know has not stolen from a store and since he has VERY few friends and never been invited over for a play date has not stolen from any kids. Again that I know of.
Number 1. I have had things( gold coins, fossils, etc) disapear after SS has been over. It’s always things that SS has shown a interest in. It’s always small things that he can slip in his pocket. I’ve looked in his room but he’s smart enough to know to bring the stuff back to BMs so I won’t find it. I’ve spoken to DH a number of times but all he does is ask SS if he’s seen my stuff. Well of course SS says no. Then it just gets dropped. Yes I’ve learned to lock up my stuff or hide it when he’s over. My purse($$$) I carry around with me in the house or hide it someplace when SS is over. But I have a whole house full of stuff and can’t lock everything up.
Second. DH will give SS spending money and if SS does not spend it the money will disappear. When asked where the money he was given went SS will say he does not know. I know where it went. Back to BM house. Problem is then when SS does want to buy something DH has to give him MORE money because the Original money disappeared. Again I’ve talked to DH about this and telling him DH needs to hold SS’s money since SS keeps losing it. DH says he can’t do this. Yes it’s DH’s money but we are married so it takes away from the household income.
Suggestions and opinions?
Welcome to the site!
I would think about installing CCTV in your house, then you will have proof to show DH that SS is stealing. Personally I would confront SS myself and tell him I know he is stealing stuff and that I will be watching him. We had this with SD22 for a while when she was younger. I once saw her slip a CD inside her coat as she was leaving on Sunday night.
But will her husband agree to
But will her husband agree to cameras in the house? Will he "get mad" when shown proof of his thieving son?
And most important - do you WANT to live somewhere that you have to install cameras to keep your belongings safe/prove who stole them?
My formerSO's son stole crap all the time - money, my $$$$ jewelry - whatever he wanted, he felt like if something was in the house, it was up for grabs. FormerSO NEVER applied consequences, made excuses as to how the stuff came to be missing (never his son of course; rediculous far fetched explanations blaming someone else instead). One of the many reasons I left.
Even if DH see DS steal
He will put his head in the sand and do nothing. You have a DH problem. He not parenting his son. He has to know the money is going to BM house. He does not care. He wants to be the FUN parent, he want to be friends with DS, Friends let thing get over on SM.
You have to decide it this man is for you. If he is, you know all your stuff will be gone. And SS will be getting your money.
DH would never agree to put Cameras
in the house to “spy” on his perfect son. Not to mention SS is a total snoop and would find the camera’s even if hidden and would flip out and more than likely break them for being pissed off. You are correct DH makes dumb Ridiculous excuses Where things disappeared. He will ask SS did you see “”””””””? AND of course SS will lie and say no and DH believes him or at least tells me he does and it gets dropped. I’m sure it’s only a mater of time before the Delinquent starts stealing else where and WILL get caught