How do you deal with stepkids that are raised very different from how you were raised and how you raise your own kids?
My DH and I were raised kind of different and had very different childhoods and cultures. DH's upbringing has more similarities to BM's than mine. He knows and loves my culture and loves the fact that I am instilling a lot of those values into our own DDs. What I'm having trouble with is the fact that SS is being brought up very differently and since he lives with BM and only visits us holidays and summers, DH finds it very difficult to parent SS the way I would want him to be raised if he lived with us. BM is very liberal with him and allows him a lot of freedoms so she can focus on herself. He is 13 and still needs to be told to clean up after himself, pick up food wrappers, take a shower, etc. He cannot be left home alone as no one trusts him and is very irresponsible and undependable. I find myself complaining to DH a lot since I stay at home with the girls so in the summer when SS is here, he is under my care as well. DH says he doesn't see most of the stuff SS does or doesn't do. DH has a lot of good qualities but being a hands on dad is not one of them. So I am left with the burden of parenting SS when he's here. It is so frustrating because I feel like it isn't my place or my responsibility to make him a better person but I also can't leave him be so he can model these behaviors to my girls. Does anyone know what I'm trying to get at? I'm sort of at a loss.