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SS little manipulative piece of...

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Tue, 09/01/2015 - 12:36pm

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Oh. My. GOD! So to those of you who've been following, SS13 if totally full of crap!

(Just a recap, 50/50 custody SS13 turned volatile with BM back in April/May, BM begged us to take him off her hands because he's "dangerous" for her family, and he could return "when he wanted"...so from May until a month ago he was showing major signs of depression, which DH and I were tackling, getting him used to steady rules which he was following. BM decided last Wednesday she was taking SS back to 50/50 arrangement due to DH's diagnosis of lymphoma, and she can't stand the thought of me having a hand in helping this child, without any prior conversations with DH or SS about it...DH gets teary phone calls, text messages that he doesn't care about SS, angry texts from BM that he's alienated SS, making the time that was supposed to be quiet very LOUD.)

SS comes back last night as per the agreement and seemed okay....gets up for first day of school and refused to go.

And here we are. We told him our rules include he must go to school, or he can't stay with us. He didn't budge. I asked him if he wanted me to take him to his school counselor instead...he said they'd never allow him in school at the counselors, which I told him wasn't true....he didn't budge. We tried guilt tripping him "How can you stress your dad out like this when he has cancer" didn't move....lastly "Going to school or going to mom's?" He grabbed his stuff to go to his mom's! So this whole freaking time, the crying, wanting the law guardian, stories of mommie dearest were total shit, if not massively embellished...on both their ends. I feel like such a patsy by getting roped into this when all of my energy should be on DH and helping him through chemo.

What a little dick. I went in the basement took every last video gaming device he has and hid them away so he wouldn't try to bring them along. I had to drive him there cuz the my husband was too sick after all of this. So BM said she couldn't believe how insensitive he's being and if it helps she'll take him to school during the week and he can stay here on weekends until DH is better.

Good riddance I say. ARGH! So pissed.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

Submitted by somedevilishbeauty on Tue, 09/01/2015 - 1:14pm

Why not say you were taking him to his moms then drop his ass off at school instead

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Tue, 09/01/2015 - 6:50pm

Mostly cuz we don't want him back right now. Way too pissed. BM's keeping him during the school week and cracking the whip on him there, and we'll get him on weekends where we'll do tons of fun things he loves, and leave him out of it on the weekends here until DH has beaten the cancer. That way we don't have to worry about getting his butt to school, we can just torture him for our own enjoyment. BM and DH agreed he gets no screens until he produces a respectable report card. Freaking kid ranks in the 95% ile of NYS, and practically fails almost everything because he's a lazy piece of crap.

We've also had the police involved with this behavior several times, even a trip to the ER. He seems to get off on the extra attention. So, BM is only feeding him vegetables and water, and he will do nothing else until he agrees to go to school. She even said to DH "I can't believe he would behave this way when you are so sick!" So, actually kind of relieved that they're coming together on something...finally. Only took like 7 years. Not holding my breath that it'll last, but definitely relieved for now.

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Wed, 09/02/2015 - 5:26am

Thanks Sally. My head isn't in the clouds with BM, maybe she's on an uphill of her cycle, maybe she's got something planned. Honestly, I couldn't give two shits at this point if her plan is to raise the kid to be a useless video gaming pot head who lives on her couch and stinks up her house until the day he dies.

He's all healed up. He occasionally points out the bump where it healed. He got to an XBox 360 before I realized it, and stowed it away yesterday. Looking back, I realized he panicked when I hit the breaks down a hill heavily and his unusually heavy back pack slammed to the ground from the seat in the car. I hope I broke it. DH told BM about it and requested it back when she comes to pick up SS10 today, and her reply was "absolutely". So we'll see if that pans out, or if this was her plan all along. In our home, there was discussion about switching his room with DD10, because he has the biggest room, and the most trouble keeping it clean (before all this went down) So now I'm thinking of switching before he gets back this weekend. I won't paint the rooms like I said I would, just not enough time, and frankly, he can paint his own g-d room. I'm taking out the carpet, because he would only stain it...so I'll leave a bed, desk for homework and dresser. Nothing else. His alarm went off at 5am, and DH heard it and turned it off, woke me and DS7 up, everyone got back to sleep but me. So I've had extra time to think about this. I'm still so pissed, I really don't even want to see him this weekend, so he can camp out in his raspberry pink prison, that catches first sunlight and has no drapes. }:)

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Wed, 09/02/2015 - 6:22am

It's not his XBox...but there's plenty other things here for the kids, including an XBox 1, and Wii (which the kids use more anyway). DH cancelled SS13's XBox live account, so she'd have to pay for that for him herself. I can sell the XBox 1 if push really came to shove. I gave SS10 the choice of switching rooms, SS13 can have the one no one wants.

SS13's law guardian and therapist have been made aware of the situation of last week. What's amazing to me is how these professionals are there to help with situations, but do nothing to help, but we still keep getting billed. I'll just leave his psychotherapy to them at this point. The therapist called here looking to set up the next appt, because BM didn't bother, so I explained what happened, and DH is just too sick to deal with this anymore. So he'll have to hash that out with BM. If she hates the new therapist for trying to get SS to stay with us, she won't bring him, and that will save us money, and if she brings him, it will only improve SS13's situation in dealing with this. I'm just gonna shrug my shoulders and "whatever" either way. Just got the good kids off to school, I'm gonna try and go back to sleep now Smile Thanks Sally!