Special Treatment
I've mentioned before how one of my stepsons seems to receive special treatment from DH. He treats mine pretty well, I'd say it's not like some mention their DH treats all their bio kids much better than their stepkids. He really tries to be pretty equal with all. Except the one. And it is hard to witness. It's not the most attractive side to him, either, watching him dote on his kid and treat him more like an equal than a kid at times.
I just don't know what to do to get over it. I've brought it up to DH. He completely denies and doesn't see it. But I think he tries a bit more to not show special favoritism yet it still happens. I talked to a therapist about how it really bothers me. She said as long as the other kids don't notice I shouldn't worry.
But I do! I'm so sick of watching DH treat him so much better than the other kids just because he is in gifted classes and is a huge suck-up. He is so spoiled and entitled. He starts fights with his younger brother and never gets in trouble for it, the younger one does.
. I had to tell SS to stop talking the other day when we were all at a table together, he was going on and on trying to boss us around and assert his opinion on a decision we were making as a family. DH just lets him keep dominating a conversation and bragging about himself. But I know if even his other kids did the same exact thing he would have put them in their place. And if SS does one of these things DH seems to think it's cute.
Another thing is I feel like when the stepkids are not with us, DH talks about this one so much more. It's like he's so proud of him and he's so special. And this kid knows it. I think there is a limit to how much praise we give kids or it is bad for them. Sometimes when SS tries to take over a conversation I kind of ignore him. DH allows this and I almost feel like he wants us all to bow down to him. Maybe I'm overthinking and it's in my head but it's really hard to see your partner who you are so close acting this way. I can relate to DH in so many ways, we are really close and can talk about almost anything. But with this issue it's like he is just blind to it.
I try to keep my mouth shut and not complain to DH about how annoyed I am. But I will not let this kid think he's in control of everything either. Does anyone else have this problem and how do you handle it?
Oh, the other kids notice,
Oh, the other kids notice, you can be sure of that. I hope he's prepared to have them all resent him for it.
You should tell your therapist that the other kids do notice it
That he's being treated much better, But again it's your DH who is the main problem
Kids are very sensitive to
Kids are very sensitive to issues of fairness I guarantee you that they were aware of this issue long before you even were.
Why is it that the same behaviors that most of us would consider rude our thoughts be cute when a skid does it? Is there something wrong with me that I can recognize when my own child is being a jerk? what is it about these divorced parents that make them think that their kids fart out rainbows and are God's gift to the world?
I HATE THAT!!! My SO was
I HATE THAT!!! My SO was like that with his daughter vs his sons. She was "special" and didn't have to do chores. Rules didn't apply to her either. She was unbearable to be around because like your "special" SS she was constantly dominating every discussion. She was basically a mini wife and her male siblings were 2nd class citizens.
This girl grew up to have a lot of personality and mental issues. Getting into trouble with the law, addiction issues, unplanned pregnancy, you name it.
You'd think the brothers would have grown up to resent her but they don't. They did at the time and would call their father out on it...as did I. Unfortunately it didn't do much good. Thank goodness I didn't live there.