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Social media etiquette

Lissabear's picture

Submitted by Lissabear on Wed, 06/20/2018 - 7:24pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

I’m concerned for my stepdaughter, 20, and the sexually explicit material she posts on her social media page. Her content is public so anyone can view her page and see it. This could be friends or relatives of mine who could see what she posts. The things she puts on there are so disrespectful and offensive to me that I can’t even feel respect towards her. I feel like it’s creating damage to our relationship because I don’t approve of it, and I don’t think she cares how I feel about it, although I’ve not said anything. She once even posted a comment saying that all her friends wanted to f*** her mom! I think it’s disgusting and very unbecoming of a young lady and feel like other people must view her as a whore. I’m curious of others opinions on this topic..

Thanks

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 06/20/2018 - 8:04pm

It’s the times we’re living. 

While I don’t think it’s “normal”  behavior, it’s not particularly abnormal either. One doesn’t have to click around very much to stumble upon another person of that age range engaging in the same distasteful behavior. 

Personally, I feel embarrassed and sad for people who choose to publicly be this. It’s damaging to oneself on many levels. A big one being potential employers, schools, etc. 

If you don’t think she’s going take to heart your feelings and constructive criticism regarding this behavior, I’d most likely not say anything if I were you. 

Lissabear's picture

Submitted by Lissabear on Thu, 06/21/2018 - 6:59am

Sheesh if this is typical behavior of today’s youth then I’m afraid to imagine what the future holds. It’s pretty unsettling. I’m not sure how to get past the feeling of disdain I have toward her...it’s really tough. I want to have a good relationship with her but she is intolerable to be around; what I’m saying is she’s completely self absorbed and does not care that she leaves messes for others to clean up and never lifts a finger to help. It’s ‘trifling’ as they say, and I get no support from her father, who adores her. It’s maddening 

--figureditout--'s picture

Submitted by --figureditout-- on Thu, 06/21/2018 - 12:46am

My SS is 26. His FB page is full of fetishist stuff and is public. He whines and complains that he cannot get jobs, housing etc due to his being a gay man. Ummmm...I have lots of friends in the LGBTQ community with no problems whatsoever.

 

Block her. Seriously.

Areyou's picture

Submitted by Areyou on Thu, 06/21/2018 - 8:10am

You really can’t do anything about it. You are also judging her. Let her do her thing. She could care less what you think honestly. I’m not being snide. Syra’s comment to MYOB was accurate and not snide at all.

Lissabear's picture

Submitted by Lissabear on Thu, 06/21/2018 - 12:12pm

Thanks for your input. I don’t want to be judgmental against her, I just see that she is drawing very negative attention to herself, and I do think it’s my business when she brings this negativity into my home and shows no respect. I also disagree in that if she chose not to have other people see what she is doing on social media she would change her settings to private. I guess good manners and class have just been thrown out the window. I guess I’m just trying to understand why she does this and how, at her age, she doesn’t realize the repercussions that could possibly come along with it. She is a college student who is constantly seeking to better herself and find a good job and will be 21 in a couple of months so it’s not like she’s 15 years old.    

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 06/21/2018 - 12:55pm

I see where everyone is saying myob... but I am judgey as hell and if my kids or skids were posting a bunch of stuff that I thought could come back and bite them in the ass later I would certainly say so. I would find all kinds of articles about how businesses now scour social media before hiring people to check out their character. They would suddenly be on her bed for nightly reading. I know... passive agressive but I would still do it.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 06/22/2018 - 10:22am

She is an adult and you can't put limits on what she posts.  Now, you can advise her that what she is posting is not particularly nice or socially appropriate and remind her of the larger audience, but you can't censor her page... even though she lives with you.  The terms and conditions under which she still resides at home are between you and your SO and her.  I suppose you and your SO could make it a requirement that she delete her social media accounts.. or remove items when asked as a condition of staying at home.. but what do you think the realistic result will be if she refuses to do what you want?  I am guessing her bio parent won't put her out over this.

So, what can you do?  Well, you can't change her so you will have to change yourself.  Number one... block/unfriend her from your profiles.  I imagine that most of your friends and family have already blocked her if the content is as offensive as you say it is.  If she isn't a friend of yours on social media... your friends shouldn't get too much of a view of what she posts because she isn't related to them.  Now I guess they can look her up.. but you can't controll that...or their reactions.

If someone makes a comment to you about her posts.. you can say.. "well, we have tried to warn her of possible issues but she thinks she knows it all "eyeroll"."