So anxious
How do you deal with an older step child after having twins?? It is really hard when a 13 yr old child doesnt clean up behind themselves, cant read directions for themselves, and only does what is convenient for them. I know thats just how teenagers are but with 2 yr old twins its just a lot. Husband is at work and I am at home with all 3 and its just hard. Then we are planning a trip out of town it just gives me so much anxiety when going with his family. I know they mean no harm, but they baby the older child so much and its so irritating. Every year the trips come around I just feel a wreck. I get no time with my husband and when only end up doing things the older child wants to do mostly. Maybe its just me.....I dont known how to voice my concerns. Has anyone else had anything similar to this happen?
What do you fear happening if
What do you fear happening if you voice your concerns? That's the biggest problem that I see: you feel like you can't talk about this with your dh?
I would be looking for things to do with my bios, screw what the skid wants. He can sit with dad and pout. I would also carve out some time for me. Let dad take all of his kids and go off alone and recharge.
Are you home with them
Are you home with them because school is out? Your DH should have found a summer camp or some other arrangement for his older child. Did he just assume this was ok with you or did you all agree to it?
As far as the trip, yeah they can be stressful. Try to escape with your bios when you are feeling stressed. There's no reason you need to do only what the skid wants to do. Go off and do your own thing!
Your DH must understand he has another child
He has to do thing with the baby too, not only the older kids, the older kids should be in summer camp or someplace during the day, not dump on you. His kids he takes care of them. Meaning finding someplace for them in the summer .
I am 6 and 8 years the elder
I am 6 and 8 years the elder to my two younger brothers. As the eldest I had responsibilities to not take up their chance to be the younger ages I had already been. My parents made that crystal clear to me. They also worked hard to not let my younger brothers interfere in my chance to be the ages I was experiencing years before they would experience those ages.
The13yo needs to be weened from interfering in your twins being 2yo. That process needs to be immediate IMHO. He steps up immediately and does what he should be doing or he is led by an ear to step up and does what he is told with a foot firmly planted on his back side to motivate his stepping up.
Family activities need to be inclusive of both the 13yo and the twins. The 13yo participates without being a detriment to the entire family enjoying the activity. If he pulls teen bullshit, he can sit in a corner or in the car while everyone else enjoys the activity. His choice. Behave or be isolated.
It works.