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Sneaky, devious SD

kristykay's picture

Submitted by kristykay on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 11:11am

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So my SD was over this weekend for a bit and I saw her holding her iPhone towards me as I was sitting on the sofa in my PJ's and no make up, hair was down from an up do all day...not looking so presentable. I later found out she took video of me. So she doesnt speak to me other than the occassional, play a trick on me...like watch a video with a jump out scary guy, etc. There is no real relationship at this point. I am disconnected. With this latest incident, I feel so violated, like my privacy is invaded and my thoughts are all over....is she posting somewhere on internet and making fun of me? Is she showing her mom and they are laughing together? I am just frustrated. I have disengaged in every way and crap continues to happen. HELP??????

Blondylady's picture

Submitted by Blondylady on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 11:16am

You need to speak to dh regarding your concerns with this. You should not feel violated in your own home and your dh needs to step up and stop this degrading behaviour from allowing to continue. Hugs to you.

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 1:05pm

I-m so happy Yes. Your DH needs to step in here. There is no reason you should feel that way in your own home. If SD won't stop on her own, DH needs to take her phone.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 11:38am

I hate these gadgets for that reason. Luckily, back when SD22 was visiting, she did not have a cell phone. If she had, I would not have allowed her to use it in my home.

I would be the same way with my 19 year old niece if she came over. She is always on her phone with her long distance "boyfriend", showing him everything and everybody, and letting him listen to everything that's going on. It's annoying. And quite rude.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 11:51am

:jawdrop:

Oh my..how did you find out she taped you? I would be livid. Dh would also make sure he takes the phone from her as soon as she walked through the door after that!

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 11:55am

I had this problem too a few years ago and I had to read the riot act to DH to get him to talk to Ass1 ( then around 20 yrs old) and make her stop taking sneaky photos on her phone of us and then posting them on her Fakebook pages.

If I had younger visiting skids with this kind of Technology these days, I would have their phones taken from them at the door and then given back at the end of the weekend visit, seriously.......

Do skids come to visit the DH/ BF or to just sit with their heads stuck in their phones the whole time ??

kristykay's picture

Submitted by kristykay on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 12:10pm

Thanks guys, my bio daughter told me that she was looking at SD's phone and saw a video of me and SD got really nervous and supposedly deleted it. Who knows, I dont trust her at all. My privacy is so invaded at this point and I am trying to decide how to keep drama down and still handle. SD's mom will yell scream and text like a wild woman if I say anything and honestly, I am so tired of that life. I have minimized it by disengaging and stepping out of my SD's life. It has worked but so frustrating things continue to happen. I just feel lost some days and cannot understand the level of mean-spiritedness.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 2:22pm

Go and get her phone and delete it yourself. Give a very stern warning to NEVER do that again! See what happens then and decide.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 12:30pm

I agree that I would have dh remove the phone from her as soon as she enters the home and then she can have it back when its time to leave.

Or if you wanted to be really immature-I'd do the same to her. Take some very unflattering photos of her and see if she'd like them posted on the various social media.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 1:38pm

Take her phone when she comes in the door. Also, you need to be "friended on Facebook and check her Instagram and Twitter feed....

This is a deal breaker for me and DH would be getting a earful from me...

Smomof3's picture

Submitted by Smomof3 on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 2:45pm

When my SD was 6 or 7 she searched through our house and took home porn DVDs that were in her father's underwear drawer in our bedroom. A few weeks later she went through our trash and took home a beer bottle and vodka bottle to prove we were drinking. Oh yeah, did I mention that her BM was a crack addict at the time? Her BM put her up to snooping through our house to get whatever...dirty magazines, movies, evidence of alcohol, bank statements, bills, etc. It was crazy. If she coul dhave taken video she would have.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 3:34pm

Same here. The BM had OSS "count" how many adult beverages were in the mini frig. (The BM works for CPS) I caught SD and OSS going through my purse and daddykin's wallet. Their excuse? "We thought you were sleeping." -SD (at the time 9 yrs old)

I'm pretty sure that your SD has already uploaded that video to several different social media sites so deleting it from her phone won't nip it in the bud.

DH must take the phone away from her upon entry to your home.

Between a Rock and A Hard Place's picture

Submitted by Between a Rock ... on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 7:03pm

Wow, I have only been married for a few months but have no relationship with the crazy BM. We had a heated phone conversation about something inappropriate she did and she retorted with some bullshit about her daughter having videos of me "screaming" at her kids. It was rather funny as:

1. I have never screamed at them

2. When I suggested that she send them to me, she shut up

Believe me, if she video tapes me doing anything, I will do the same to her having a meltdown or tantrum.

And yes, your husband needs to nip that in the bud if she is really doing that to you.

Good luck!