My DH has 3 young adults, ages 19, 20, and 23. His one son won't talk to him because he is with me. So, we were dealing with that for awhile before the engagement and marriage. The other son hates me, too, but he is a manipulator and is currently pretending he is ok with the marriage. Like I care......But, he has been incredibly nasty to us, so he will go back to being that way soon.
The worst was DH's daughter. She had a fit when we became engaged, and was furious when we married this past July. BM always told them that DH would never be able to marry-she thought she could control him, and she did, for a long time. Now, that he has me, she and the skids are fuming mad. We have a nice life, they live horribly by choice, and they cannot stand seeing DH happy.
We kept all details of the wedding secret-DH's kids were not invited. They do not care about that, but us being married, esp. for his daughter, is horrible. She went into a rage when she found out, but has not really bothered us. She knows I will not tolerate it.
blimey you would think that being older they would be a bit more grown up about it!
Good for you for not letting them grind you down.
You live in hope that at some point in their lives they will realise what asses they have been !
My DH has that hope, and it is so sad. They get worse every day. He is waiting for them to wake up, but that is probably never going to happen.
They see this marriage as him being out of their control, which means no money for them. THAT is all they want. We do not have it, and if we did, they would not be getting a dime, with their horrible behaviors and attitudes.
DH cut down the money tree 18 months ago. DID NOT go over well at all. They act like we have a fortune, when we are living like most middle class people. The amount of money he was giving them was insane for what he makes/his bills, and he knew it. He was barely making it. It was every day-never a day there was not a request for cash.
Now that he has stopped, I think he can see how bad it really was.
Right after the wedding, his daughter sent a ton of emails hinting for a new computer-the one she broke when she threw it bc she was so angry we got married. 23 years old.
Yes, adult skids are the worst. I do not see DH's kids ever changing.
I'm moving in with boyfriend and his daughter asked if that would mean he has more money!
yes sweetheart to pay off a few debts including the divorce from your mother. and so we are able to go out more. not all for you.
DH told his kid we were getting married over 13yrs ago...she was 4-5...she was happy AT THE TIME. We did not marry until 3 years ago and well, not sure wether she cares or not...I bet you she doesn't as contact has come to a screeching halt, but it is what it is. Too bad. Her dad doesn't give her crap about her having a loser/ex-con baby daddy, none of her business who her dad marries either.
PS - NOBODY in DHs family was really invited except his mother (told just a few days before the wedding and the wedding was outside the country) and the same with his brother...SKID was NOT invited. We knew BM and her would just show up and cause trouble.
My SD acted like it was the end of the world and was super pissed that SHE wasn't included in our weekend getaway and that SHE hadn't given HER permission for her father to ask me to marry him. Yeah, she thought it was up to her and was so jealous that she couldn't be there to ruin it all.
Oh yes Clare - she definitely had that going on! She was disgustingly close to her father when I first met them. Holding his hand ALL The time in a lover's lock, fingers interlaced. Sitting on his lap everywhere we went, even at the dinner table. Had to snuggle with him, would nuzzle his neck, spooning with him on the floor watching movies. After I pointed it out, he was like "whoa, I'm no child molester, this is my daughter but wow, after you said something, I totally get that she's too old to be doing this with me". She was 11/12, mind you.
He'd allowed her to "set up home" with him after he moved out of the ex's place. She helped pick furniture, dishes, shower curtain, etc. She went everywhere with him, because he HAD to take her, but she thought it was their "dates". She even told me after we first met, that it would be she and her father living alone alternating days with mom, until SHE got married. Yeah, right kiddo. She even forbade him to date and told him to take down all of his dating profiles on websites! And he complied! My email was the very last to get through to him before he deleted his profile, that's the only way we met.
He saw the error of his (and BM's) ways in raising this girl to be #1, top priority, center of attention, queen bee of their marriage and household. It took me a year of pointing out things and therapy and him talking with other parents of well-behaved kids for him to see how spoiled and horrible his precious princess really was.
I just thank my lucky stars he was willing to change things and put me and our marriage first.
you are lucky that he listened and realised what was happening.
i walked in when SO and SD were in a weird embrace and was so shocked i just said "that's weird" and then walked out. he tried to come up with a strange excuse later. really odd it was.
i think that they still see their daughters as little girls when actually at that age they are turning into young women.
Certain ways of touching/cuddling are only suitable in an adult relationship not between a father and daughter.
Exactly. He was mortified when I pointed out how inappropriate their touching each other and her hanging all over him was. At age 12, you should NOT be spooning with your daughter on the floor or holding her hand fingers interlaced. I'm sorry, that's just not kosher with me.
When I asked him how he'd feel if he saw another man touching his daughter at that age like that, he said he'd be very uncomfortable. He got it, the light went on. He didn't realize that she was growing up, because she'd act so much like a little dependent immature baby around him. Calling him dadddddddddddy and giving him puppy dog eyes and saying she couldn't complete the simplest of tasks because 'it was just too hard'. She would follow him to the bathroom and not let him out of her sight if we took her somewhere like a restaurant or the lake. This continued from age 12 into 13, but he was able to see it and stop it. Now of course, she's already had sex, got busted having phone sex, her mom lets her run the neighborhood at all hours and have boys in the house unsupervised. Doesn't punish or educate her.
We've done all we can to help this child, but she's refusing to come over or have anything to do with us anymore, so DH is done. Thank God. It hurt me to see how badly she hurt him and how he'd just go begging back at her for any type of response. He's done.
I'm already trying to head this kind of thing off at the pass. Once, SD6 kissed SO on the lips, and then he came to kiss me on the lips, and I got HER lip gloss all over my mouth. It grossed me out so much that I've been sure to remind SO periodically, "It's only 7 more years before she's sucking dicks and getting plowed!"
I can't necessarily judge a girl for having sex too young, because I did it myself. However, I will say that if he's going to be kissing her on the mouth, spooning with her, holding her hand, etc, I'll be the first one to remind him where she's been and that she's hardly a little girl anymore.
I hear ya. I was young when I lost my virginity too, but didn't do the things SD was doing. She was sending RAUNCHY and I mean RAUNCHY texts/fb msgs to her 13 yr old boyfriend at age 13, had sex, gave him a bj and sounded like a total porn star whore on the phone with him "trying to get him off" she said...yeah, at 13!
My DH has 3 young adults,
My DH has 3 young adults, ages 19, 20, and 23. His one son won't talk to him because he is with me. So, we were dealing with that for awhile before the engagement and marriage. The other son hates me, too, but he is a manipulator and is currently pretending he is ok with the marriage. Like I care......But, he has been incredibly nasty to us, so he will go back to being that way soon.
The worst was DH's daughter. She had a fit when we became engaged, and was furious when we married this past July. BM always told them that DH would never be able to marry-she thought she could control him, and she did, for a long time. Now, that he has me, she and the skids are fuming mad. We have a nice life, they live horribly by choice, and they cannot stand seeing DH happy.
We kept all details of the wedding secret-DH's kids were not invited. They do not care about that, but us being married, esp. for his daughter, is horrible. She went into a rage when she found out, but has not really bothered us. She knows I will not tolerate it.
blimey you would think that
blimey you would think that being older they would be a bit more grown up about it!
Good for you for not letting them grind you down.
You live in hope that at some point in their lives they will realise what asses they have been !
My DH has that hope, and it
My DH has that hope, and it is so sad. They get worse every day. He is waiting for them to wake up, but that is probably never going to happen.
They see this marriage as him being out of their control, which means no money for them. THAT is all they want. We do not have it, and if we did, they would not be getting a dime, with their horrible behaviors and attitudes.
DH cut down the money tree 18
DH cut down the money tree 18 months ago. DID NOT go over well at all. They act like we have a fortune, when we are living like most middle class people. The amount of money he was giving them was insane for what he makes/his bills, and he knew it. He was barely making it. It was every day-never a day there was not a request for cash.
Now that he has stopped, I think he can see how bad it really was.
Right after the wedding, his daughter sent a ton of emails hinting for a new computer-the one she broke when she threw it bc she was so angry we got married. 23 years old.
Yes, adult skids are the worst. I do not see DH's kids ever changing.
SS was 8 then, said I was an
SS was 8 then, said I was an 'Intruder' (BM left DH before I even met him so go figure) and didn't come to our wedding, thank god.
I'm moving in with boyfriend
I'm moving in with boyfriend and his daughter asked if that would mean he has more money!
yes sweetheart to pay off a few debts including the divorce from your mother. and so we are able to go out more. not all for you.
DH told his kid we were
DH told his kid we were getting married over 13yrs ago...she was 4-5...she was happy AT THE TIME. We did not marry until 3 years ago
and well, not sure wether she cares or not...I bet you she doesn't as contact has come to a screeching halt, but it is what it is. Too bad. Her dad doesn't give her crap about her having a loser/ex-con baby daddy, none of her business who her dad marries either.
PS - NOBODY in DHs family was really invited except his mother (told just a few days before the wedding and the wedding was outside the country) and the same with his brother...SKID was NOT invited. We knew BM and her would just show up and cause trouble.
My SD acted like it was the
My SD acted like it was the end of the world and was super pissed that SHE wasn't included in our weekend getaway and that SHE hadn't given HER permission for her father to ask me to marry him. Yeah, she thought it was up to her and was so jealous that she couldn't be there to ruin it all.
UGH!
yuck. little wife syndrome
yuck.
little wife syndrome strikes again !
Oh yes Clare - she definitely
Oh yes Clare - she definitely had that going on! She was disgustingly close to her father when I first met them. Holding his hand ALL The time in a lover's lock, fingers interlaced. Sitting on his lap everywhere we went, even at the dinner table. Had to snuggle with him, would nuzzle his neck, spooning with him on the floor watching movies. After I pointed it out, he was like "whoa, I'm no child molester, this is my daughter but wow, after you said something, I totally get that she's too old to be doing this with me". She was 11/12, mind you.
He'd allowed her to "set up home" with him after he moved out of the ex's place. She helped pick furniture, dishes, shower curtain, etc. She went everywhere with him, because he HAD to take her, but she thought it was their "dates". She even told me after we first met, that it would be she and her father living alone alternating days with mom, until SHE got married. Yeah, right kiddo. She even forbade him to date and told him to take down all of his dating profiles on websites! And he complied! My email was the very last to get through to him before he deleted his profile, that's the only way we met.
He saw the error of his (and BM's) ways in raising this girl to be #1, top priority, center of attention, queen bee of their marriage and household. It took me a year of pointing out things and therapy and him talking with other parents of well-behaved kids for him to see how spoiled and horrible his precious princess really was.
I just thank my lucky stars he was willing to change things and put me and our marriage first.
you are lucky that he
you are lucky that he listened and realised what was happening.
i walked in when SO and SD were in a weird embrace and was so shocked i just said "that's weird" and then walked out. he tried to come up with a strange excuse later. really odd it was.
i think that they still see their daughters as little girls when actually at that age they are turning into young women.
Certain ways of touching/cuddling are only suitable in an adult relationship not between a father and daughter.
Exactly. He was mortified
Exactly. He was mortified when I pointed out how inappropriate their touching each other and her hanging all over him was. At age 12, you should NOT be spooning with your daughter on the floor or holding her hand fingers interlaced. I'm sorry, that's just not kosher with me.
When I asked him how he'd feel if he saw another man touching his daughter at that age like that, he said he'd be very uncomfortable. He got it, the light went on. He didn't realize that she was growing up, because she'd act so much like a little dependent immature baby around him. Calling him dadddddddddddy and giving him puppy dog eyes and saying she couldn't complete the simplest of tasks because 'it was just too hard'. She would follow him to the bathroom and not let him out of her sight if we took her somewhere like a restaurant or the lake. This continued from age 12 into 13, but he was able to see it and stop it. Now of course, she's already had sex, got busted having phone sex, her mom lets her run the neighborhood at all hours and have boys in the house unsupervised. Doesn't punish or educate her.
We've done all we can to help this child, but she's refusing to come over or have anything to do with us anymore, so DH is done. Thank God. It hurt me to see how badly she hurt him and how he'd just go begging back at her for any type of response. He's done.
I'm already trying to head
I'm already trying to head this kind of thing off at the pass. Once, SD6 kissed SO on the lips, and then he came to kiss me on the lips, and I got HER lip gloss all over my mouth. It grossed me out so much that I've been sure to remind SO periodically, "It's only 7 more years before she's sucking dicks and getting plowed!"
Yeah, my SD14 was already
Yeah, my SD14 was already doing that at age 13...SICKENING. She's just like her momma
I can't necessarily judge a
I can't necessarily judge a girl for having sex too young, because I did it myself. However, I will say that if he's going to be kissing her on the mouth, spooning with her, holding her hand, etc, I'll be the first one to remind him where she's been and that she's hardly a little girl anymore.
I hear ya. I was young when
I hear ya. I was young when I lost my virginity too, but didn't do the things SD was doing. She was sending RAUNCHY and I mean RAUNCHY texts/fb msgs to her 13 yr old boyfriend at age 13, had sex, gave him a bj and sounded like a total porn star whore on the phone with him "trying to get him off" she said...yeah, at 13!
DH was FLOOOOOOORED!