Skids Bedrooms...how do you handle it?
My SS's are 10 and soon to be 12. I have been in their lives for almost 6.5 yrs. They have never vacuumed or dusted their bedrooms. When my bio kids were that age, they cleaned their rooms, including vacuuming and dusting. I would do a real thorough cleaning every couple of months.
In the beginning my husband would say, well their not here enough. Now we have them 50/50. I've told him, I've never seen your kids run a vacuume or clean their rooms. He says they know how to run a vacuum at mom's house.
Then he will say "your kids don't clean their rooms". Okay first of all they are 20 and 25. My 20 yr. old is much neater and cleaner than his sibling. They both vacuume and dust their rooms and empty their trash. When they first clean their rooms, they look beautiful and then a few days later...not looking so good. My kids close their doors, I don't look at it, I don't enter their rooms and I don't live in it. As far as I'm concerned they are much older than their step sibs and I have already raised my kids.
I feel like he is comparing apples to oranges and is looking for excuses. I have done all the cleaning and organizing in the skids rooms.
What would you do in my situation?
I am sorry if I am
I am sorry if I am misunderstanding and I do not mean to offend in any way shape or form.......are your kids 20 and 25 and still at home??
This one is a hard one; I am a neat freak and if the rooms are not clean both BD12 and SD14 are not aloud to do anything and don't even bother asking.
I will clean my BD room every now and then just to get it the way I like it.....the upkeep is up to them. Sd doesn't want me in her room so she cleans it. I leave it up to them; either they get me in their business or they do it...
The kids bedrooms are one
The kids bedrooms are one thing that I never freaked out about. I let all kids/skids keep rooms how they like.
My only rule was NO FOOD OR DRINK in the bedrooms. E
very few months, I do make them deep clean...(vacume and dust), but other than that, I keep the doors closed.
My BD25 just finished college
My BD25 just finished college and is going for her masters next but working for one year first and my BS20 is going to college and working part time, they both commute. My BD was commutting 45 mins oneway, 6 times a week, working part time and doing an internship.
At my skids BM's house they have no routine and leave their crap everywhere, and don't clean their rooms. I have managed to get them to make their beds, pick up their dirty clothes and put their wet towels in the bathroom hamper. At times they do it under protest because they say they don't do that at BM's. I know that's true because I've been in the house and it grosses me out seeing the crap they leave around. BM is no cleaning wizard either. Iv'e been there in the summer and she'll have a winter table cloth (snowmen ect)and in the dining room will be an autumn table cloth, with pumpkins still out (fake ones), soda cans all over the floor (and I mean like 10 of them), wet towels on the floor where the kids had decided to get dressed.
I could go on and on...
The 20 and 25 year olds STILL
The 20 and 25 year olds STILL LIVE WITH MOMMY??
If you insist skids keep their rooms clean, you'd better expect the same of your kids.
Damn, your DH is patient. If my skids were that age, I'd be PISSED if they were still at home.
Fly the nest, already!!
And how old are your kids?
And how old are your kids? And have you been living in a cave during our now second recession??? And by the way my oldest is out of the nest...he's 26 and not going to school. Thanks.
I don't think the issue was
I don't think the issue was kids living at home; I only asked because I got chills having any SK or BK living at home at that age....That is my OWN personal opinion; to each their own and I mean that!
I am a freak (OCD) about my house; the way it looks, smells, some think I am a bit over the top! I don't care; if I let it go for one day - I pay for it the next; with 6 people and a 75 pound white Lab......i have to be!!
As long as you expect the same out of ALL kids; it's your house your rules!!
hbello428..I wasn't directing
hbello428..I wasn't directing my last comment to you. I did not take anything you said personally or offensive. And your right, it wasn't a question about kids living at home at their ages.
My opinion is that I've raised my bio kids to take care of their things. They are young adults and how they choose to take care of their things is up to them. They close the door, I don't clean for them nor do I do or put away their laundry.
My oldest SS35 comes to visit and he is just as bad as my bio kids. Only, he doesn't like to pick up after himself while he visits either. The guest room is trashed and he leaves cups and dishes around the house.
Last year when he came to visit we had a major snow storm and our blower broke. My bio kids were outside shoveling including the child who doesn't live here and SS35 felt he didn't have to.
I think that I will just leave my hubby to deal with the vac and dusting of his kids rooms.
No bad feeling's here hbello428
Nope...didn't think it was
Nope...didn't think it was
. But....you will have people take your question and bash something else you said. I am sure they do things that aren't okay.....but you will never know!! LOL
anyway.......Some kids just aren't taught to treat stuff nicely. Hell; they aren't even taught to treat people w/ respect - if they were.......this site wouldn't even exist!!
Bottom LINE - YOUR house your rules; what you says goes!! I didn't see that for a very long time! Now I am starting too; but now I am left w/ no respect for DH for allowing this to happen for sooooooooo long!
We never win
he diverted you. Instead of
he diverted you. Instead of talking about his kids, he shifted the argument to yours. next time say, we aren't talking about mine (but mine are cleaner than yours).
in your situation, i'd stop cleaning for them and shut their doors so people can't look at it.
You are enabling their behavior if you continue to clean for them.
I am not a neat freak soooooo
I am not a neat freak soooooo I closed the doors on kids rooms if anyone came to visit. Kids could not have visitors unless their rooms were clean though. They wanted visitors!
To me it sounds like you both
To me it sounds like you both have legitimate issues. Now, your DH should not bring up his issue with your kids, defensively. That will not help things. I think you have a point and he should hear you. He also has a point, and you should hear him out too. Most people on here would have issues with kids living at home at that age, irregardless of them going to school, and particularly if they keep a messy room, even if it is their own room. I am not saying that I feel strongly that way, but I read it on here all the time. That is why some may comment in a negative way.
It may help if you stop doing the cleaning and organizing in the skids rooms; either let them or have DH deal with it if it bothers him.
Maybe there is a place on here for your DH as well, since both of you are dealing with skids. I can see both sides, although I know very little about the whole situation.
Can I say this??? YOUR HOUSE
Can I say this??? YOUR HOUSE SM THEREFORE YOUR RULES.... The skids are there expecting you to cook and organise the home...and obviously they need to abide by the rules of the house...CLEAN YOUR ROOMS OR YOUR GROUNDED...
TELL them that you will give them 30 mins to have a go...and who ever does it the best job, youll reward them with a special treat....
I used to do that with my kids - and they used to love the excitement...
Tell you DH that you are going to have a bit of fun with the skids...nothing like a little competition going with the little shits....
rewarding for when they do something good works wonders...and while they are cleaning their room...sit back for 30 mins with the DH have a wine or what ever....
then cos the both of the little babes have done such a wonderful job, reward them both...drop them off at the movies...then you two adults have another couple of hours by yourself...kick back at some bar and have a nice dinner or something...
skids will think your so fantastic
cheers./