Skid and BM lied to CPS about me WIBTA
BM called CPS on me and lied to the investigator, skid also lied to investigator resulting in him having not come back to mine and DH house since October.
skid came out to his dad and told him he was lying during the investigation and was laughing about it thinking it was funny. There are no actual stay away orders, just his BM not wanting me around skid. Skid currently stays next door at husbands parents house on his weeks.
investigator closed out the case within a week and told us she found nothing to back up BM and skid claims. BM and her husband do not like me because I do not tolerate their bull and the way they take advantage of my husband.
i never had CPS involved in my life before, and i have my bio son who is also 8, same as skid. My husband and I also have a child together who is 1.5.
since skid hasn't been here in almost 4 months (and I don't see when he would be returning since bm and her husband don't want me around, never have and they are using this as a way to keep me away, but again, no real order, just them not liking me and saying I can't be around) would I be wrong to convert his room into a room for our 1.5 year old? Husband is okay with this, but I know if he were to come back (and idk when that would be), he would go complain to his mom and that would cause so many more issues.
I'd do it
I think the child who lives there permanently, your 1.5 year old, should get the room and your DH is in agreement. When and if your SS returns for overnights, you can make other arrangements, like sharing your 8yo's room or the couch. I'd say this even if there was no dissension with SS. Its just common sense that the one who is there full time get the room.
When/if SS returns, I'd make a condition that first, cameras must be installed. These CPS charges are serious and you dont want to risk custody of your 8yo and the little one.
This was also my thought.
This was also my thought. Both my bios are here full time. Skid was here 50% of the time and now has been 0%. Little one currently shares mine and husbands room with us, but he seems ready for his own space. I didn't want to make the switch without other opinions because I did feel a little conflicted. Thank you!
You're probably concerned
You're probably concerned that SS will harbor bad feelings toward you if you do this. He already harbors bad feelings so I'd let that go. When/if he returns and questions wby, DH can explain the logistics.
My best advice is YOU do
My best advice is YOU do nothing... your husband can switch rooms up.. for his children.. if he wants.
TBH.. your DH should be taking his visitation.. but cameras in public spaces.. and you not being alone with his child are probably improtant steps.
By the way.. if there is no legal order barring the child being in your presence.. they can legally "suckit"
he may need to go to court to have her held in contempt... and he needs to get a handle on his kid's lying.
The second a SK lies to any
The second a SK lies to any investigator about me is the last time that kid would be allowed in my house. I'd have no guilt whatsoever converting a lying brat's room to my bio's room. That kid would not ever be allowed in any domicile of mine again and if my DH didn't like that he'd find himself out as well.
I used to work in a CPS related body in my province and the investigators simply closing the case due to unsubstantiated claims is not good enough. It implies that there simply wasn't sufficient evidence to proceed with anything further. It does not actually clear you. Depending on your job that could actually preclude you from further employment and definitely from promotional opportunities. It does not repair any loss of reputation on a personal or professional level. You have been named in a complaint and you weren't found guilty but you weren't cleared. Think about that. If anything else came up, anything at all, you'd be at risk of losing your bios during any investigation. In my province, the onus would be on you to prove your innocence and to prove that the complainant is lying. This is what your SS took part in. Take the room and never let that lying scum set foot in your home again.
^^^THIS^^^
Once this type of allegation has been made, it changes everything. Now, your priority must be protecting yourself from further malicious attacks. How SS feels is unimportant. You're the victim here, and make sure you assume that victim staus if/when anyone suggests softening your stance.
He should never be allowed to
He should never be allowed to set foot in your house and should never be allowed near you or your bios. When he lied to CPS about you, he put you in danger of losing your kids. He should be banned from your life and your kids lives permanently. ANYONE who tries to get your kids taken away from you shouldn't be allowed near you or them! I don't care who it is! Your husband should see him outside of the house somewhere, never at your home. If he doesn't like it he can lump it. Convert that room! SS won't be needing it, like ever.
Oh, Hell No
You make a false report against me to state agencies, you will NEVER step foot in my home or be in my presence again. THAT can cause SO much trouble, including the need for legal counsel. Ask me how I know this.
DHs youngest daughter accused me (and him) of emotional abuse in an email...that I got a copy of. I have security checks to work in our local school system and a counseling agency. Can you imagine the trouble she'd have caused me had that gone anywhere???That's been 10+ years ago. She has not been in this home since. DH sees her away from our marital home (per a suggestion from our counselor). She will be allowed in my world again ONLY when she admits to her lies to me and DH. I'm not holding my breath, and besides, my life is much more peaceful without that troublesome woman in my life.
So, again I say....anyone who makes false allegations against me would not be allowed in my home or space without making full amends.
Best to you.
The actions that caused cps
The actions that caused cps to investigate YOU, is a RED LINE---
SS would no longer be welcomed into your home. Dad can see his son in public, preferably a place with cameras-only. Since bm was willing to target YOU, she is also willing to target dad and your children. .
Sooner or later, bm will likely request modification for more child support. Go on line to the child support calculator and max out what child support will be based on ZERO overnights and plan accordingly.
NOW, bm may also push back and tell dh something like, YOU CAN NOT FORBID my son in your house, OR, HOW can you do that to our son? YOU have to take your visitation.... blah blah blah
That is not true, dh has every right to deny ANY person into his home and yes that includes his child. . Family court has experienced events just like yours. Do not buy for one moment "they never heard anything like this before".
Now about the bedroom. That is up to you and dh.
Good Luck and please keep us posted. Remember, YOU are obligated to protect YOUR children, always.
In addition
NC parents are under no obligation to take their visitation time, however, custodial parents MUST make the child(ren) available for visitation. So, up yours, BM!
Anyone who does a false CPS report
That may distroy my reputation. Effect my life with my Bio child. Would never....Never..step foot in my house again. Why set yourself up for a second false report. Second time CPS may find something. That can go into your record. That may one day come back to bite you in the A$$.
'If DH wants to see his ungrateful, lying,SS [ all true] He can do it at McDonald, not your home . Or at Motel 6.
'TO answer your question. Throw out all SS Garbage, give your bio child his room. Repaint it, buy new furniture. SS will never set foot in your home again . This is not a game. Once government get involved, there no erasing it.