From the day dh and I started seeing each other sil has been rude and inhospitable to me, even things as basic as responding when I would say hello to her - literally ignore me when we would see each other at dh's parents. She would never so much as say hello to me, and when I politely would say hi to her she wouldn't answer.

This was just one of many things she would do to demonstrate her dislike of me (jealousy and resentment to be honest) so after years of putting up with her crap, along with osd who followed sil's lead, I disengaged. Part of my disengagement was to stop saying hello to these two people who never had the manners or maturity to acknowledge it

Eventually I trained myself that unless that were right there staring me in the face when I entered fil's house, I didn't bother to say hello anymore (or engage them in any conversations at all) just a polite "please pass the pepper" "thank you" etc.. during dinner and nothing more

So, the other day dh and I are at fil's. Sil is already there when we arrive and she is in another room talking with fil. As dh has also from time to time been the recipient of her rude behaviour, he doesn't go out of his way to greet sil either. Dh and I were standing in the kitchen when sil walks in to it. Her and dh say hello. I say nothing to her. Then she says "Hi" to me in front of dh. I say hello back to her. Then dh and I continue talking. Then she rudely says "how are you?" in a sarcastic tone and angry expression on her face that clearly showed her "shock" :O

She was actually ticked off - or putting on a big drama act about it - that I barely acknowledged her presence as I have maintained for a while now.

I just get a kick out of how she can't take her own treatment. Or...more likely is orchestrating some big drama about me being rude and not liking her etc.. etc... when all along it has always been her and she just wants to set me up

Either way, I simply continue to be disengaged. Her behavior doesn't ruffle me any longer and so no matter if she ignores me rudely or tries to start an argument, or tries to convince dh and his family I'm the one with the problem...I just happily keep jugging along and am always friendly and polite with dh and fil, and happily pay NO attention to sil or any of her nastiness