Should've known better...
Knowing how it goes with SMs always having to recognize what's right and what's wrong...I realize that I may be setting myself up for some harsh criticism. I had an incident occur at my SS's school event today. The CO states that I'm not allowed to be around skids unsupervised (only on there because BM wasn't going to budge on finalizing the divorce and plan until SO said ok to this AND the only grounds was because she hates me). At SS's event today, I literally went around the corner to grab a couple drinks and snacks to bring back for myself, SO, kids or for whoever wanted them. I was around the corner when I noticed little SD was following me and I grabbed drinks snacks with her and come back around the corner less than 2 min to see BM with a red angry face giving shit to SO and then turning her shit onto me whenever I walk back up. She said something like you know you can't be unsupervised and I said, "there were adults all around." (The CO doesn't specifically state who is supposed to supervise me. That was my part being a sh*thead but also CO accurate.) Then she said, do you want to take this outside and talk about this and I obviously shouldn't have agreed but I deep down thought the convo would've gone semi decent. She could grieve her anger and I could tell her, "well this is why I was thinking it was ok..." But that sh*t escalated real quick with her snapping her fingers at me, doing the talk to the hand gesture and finger in the face pointing, "threatening you're lucky we're in public at SS's school" and "you don't know who you're messing with." With her doing all this sh*t and me being like what are you doing/talking about, her bf came around the corner and pushed his forearm on me and pushed me backwards twice saying, "this b*tch isn't worth it" 2x. I was like why the eff are you touching me...couldn't even muzzle his own crazy woman.
I partially accept responsibility for agreeing to go around the corner outside to talk to her but I was stupid and thought she genuinely wanted to talk. Nope. SO is in the middle of CO modification thanks to BM so idk if this nonsense will make it to the judge but I kinda hope it does because it willl show how angry, irate, aggressive and unreasonable she is.
Alright guys, lay on the words of wisdom.
Her BF shoved you, press
Her BF shoved you, press assault charges. Never again be alone with BM again and start building your information, facts, and tactics for owning her ignorant and toxic ass.
Where was your DH in all of this? I hope that if he was not there he was watching the kids. Which is my guess at what he was doing.
I did call it in. They said
I did call it in. They said they had no need to contact him/them since it was "minor" but I just wanted official paperwork since SO and BM are in the middle of modifications again.
Hindsight is 20/20 and I really shouldn't have given her the benefit of the doubt and don't plan on being alone again with her/them and if I am, I'll have my camera rolling.
And DH was around the corner with skids. BM's bf was by SO side until he walked out to shove me aside. I guess he heard his rabid dog barking loudly and came to leash her in but he pissed me off by laying a single touch on me.
Did you actually talk to an
Did you actually talk to an officer? What kind of a report were they going to write? They were not taking you seriously or they would contact the guy. What you describe could be considered battery, depending on your state. I'd go to the department in person and ask for a supervisor. They should take an official report and contact the suspect - he could be issued a summons.
I'll look into it. It
I'll look into it. It happened at the SS's school that's out of our city limits so it's a smaller community and my SO made the comment of saying he wished it had gotten to the county sherrifs because then they may have done something about it. As far as who I talked to, I understood that it was an officer from the small town community and he asked what I wanted, and I said an official police report. Said they'd have a report available to me by the end of the week if I wanted to pick one up, which we will definitely getting a copy of.
It is good he said it would
It is good he said it would be an official report. However, if you want charges filed I would still push for it. He made unwanted physical contact with you, pushed you, and you were afraid. That may be enough for a criminal charge. It shouldn't matter what jurisdiction it happen it.
Unless he is willing to file
Unless he is willing to file a mod and have that taken out I would run asap. Why would he agree to that??
They're in the middle of
They're in the middle of court now and his lawyer has already entered the request to take my name out of it.
Unless there was originally
Unless there was originally some offence on your part that dictated the CO terms, then she was way over reacting to that particular event.
I can't see why a court of law would limit your being alone with the kids, is that commonplace in your jurisdiction? How can they limit DH's life like that?
As for interaction with the skids, your only option is to disengage. You probably should have sent SD back to BM as soon as you found her following you, sad as that is. When the skids are at your house, fine, be nice to them but when anywhere near BM you need to keep clear. Sounds like she makes a big deal of her CO terms, it's a power/control issue. We have a BM like that, she hates it when the skids talk nice about me.
Altercations take two people, so anything you said to her was too much. The only words to use on someone like that are "I have nothing to say to you". The BF probably just wanted to shut both of you up, no he should not have touched you, but that is not assault. Stay clear and have DH do the communicating.
In a few years, you will be able to be friends with the skids if you keep peace now, and they will eventually realise what a wing nut their BM is. Recently our skids have shown signs of fully recognising their BM's personality disorder and tendency to get combative. These people end up as lonely old people if you just leave them to their games.
I hope I get to that point in
I hope I get to that point in the future. Just dealing with a little bit of hell until then.
And no, I don't think that's common to include ridiculous things like this in a CO just because someone doesn't like someone else. It's just that they were getting to a point where nothing was moving forward because BM wouldn't budge on this. SO's side didn't argue it and he was adviced, agree to this and that and we can modify it in the future, let's just get this finalized. It was a LONG, messy divorce. SO knows and has felt this coming back and biting him in the ass on more than once occasion, though.
I have for the most part disengaged, I learned to do that real quick from this site. But I wouldn't let something so stupid and ignorant be shoved in my face and not speak up for myself. That's why I opened my mouth and said something back to BM when she looked at me like a monster for having the nerve to walk away, grab snacks, and not realize SD was following. Everyone was too busy wondering who was supervising me, no one cared to supervise the kids and not allow them to run off with evil SM, I guess.
So your SO, BM and SF were
So your SO, BM and SF were all sitting together with the kids and no one noticed the SD wandered off following you? And instead of coming to search for the missing child, they all just sit there assuming she is with you? Hmmm, well, I guess lucky for them the child actually was with you. I'm not even going to ask why you were all sitting together.
I'm not sure BM or Tough Guy SF understand supervised , as sitting with both parents (and SF) at a public event is about as supervised as supervised could be. Both parents were close enough to have smelled your perfume. How more supervised could a person be.
I could see if the CO said you were not to babysit the children without Dad being present. Meaning visitation is for the father not his SO/GF and eventually having ROFR entered into the final CO.
SO what kind of "supervision" wording is actually used in the CO? Unless you're something terrible such as a suspected child molester or abuser, it's not typical to actually name third parties in a CO like this. And why would Dad agree to BM's idea of "supervision". Per this school snack bar incident it sounds like if you're cooking dinner in the kitchen with the kids and Dad goes down the hall to pee, you're not "supervised" and he's in contempt.
I would think a woman abuser (aka Tough Guy SF) would be more to the tune of perhaps needing supervised visitations than a lady toting drinks and snacks.
The child's event took place
The child's event took place inside in the hallways. There were literally people everywhere and the hallway was crowded with people roaming about. I stuck my head around the corner because I saw snacks coming from that direction and as soon as I'm around the corner I feel SD grabbing for my hand. So yes, I was literally supervised as supervised could get, and this was all within 100 ft from both parents...I just went out of sight for a split min around the corner. In the CO, my name is mentioned in a single sentence saying "no unsupervised contact." That's it. There is a ROFR for more than 4hour. And yep, if we're at home and SO goes to pee or grab something in his room, were monsters for violating the CO, according to BM's logic.
I just couldn't believe the sight of her face turning bright red saying you know you can't be unsupervised...so I replied with "there's adults everywhere supervising." Usually I keep my mouth shut and comments to myself. But yeah, getting treated like a POS for no reason has me fed up to the point where I just don't care anymore, and if something is stupid, I'm gonna call it stupid but I'm not gonna be an animal like BM is.
I honestly believed I could
I honestly believed I could handle her and I did. She's the one who couldn't handle herself. And her BF had to swoop in and throw me a curve ball like he did.
A request to modify and take that part out of the CO is in. Just been a waiting ordeal.
Lol at someone calling him a tough guy...pushing around a woman and calling me a stupid b*tch when he doesn't know me or even heard/saw what was happening till the end when he saw his dog with her face and hands in my face. Charmers, the both of them.
Sorry this would be a
Sorry this would be a complete deal breaker for me. I love my DH but I love myself more. I would be.....well I can't be around your kids unsupervised so here is my absence instead. I do understand the difficulty he is in but throwing you under the bus is unacceptable.
Hope that part of the CO is
Hope that part of the CO is removed. If not, remove yourself.
Here's the thing. You are
Here's the thing. You are not party to their CO. You did not sign it. You did not agree to it. Therefore, YOU are not the person she needs to discuss this with. She has no "stick" with which to punish you.
The fact that a judge allowed a specific person to be named in the CO with NO underlying legal reason (sex offender, abusive etc...) is pretty crazy.
If she had gone off on me like that... I would have told her that YOU agreed to NOTHING with her.
As far as the future goes, that needs to be removed from the CO unless there is a real and valid reason why you need supervision. I would let a judge decide. If it isn't removed, how does that make your life look going forward? You have to leave the room every time your SO goes to take a pee???