Should I contact my stepchildren? Help!
My husband has 3 children, all grown up, in their 20's, they've never lived with us as they were already in their 20s when we married. My two children, late teens, live with us.
My father-in-law passed away in the last few days. As you can imagine my husband is incredibly upset, highs and lows, emotional - we've all experienced bereavement so know what he's going through.
He's told his children that grandad has died but he's had no communication back from them, they've not called or even text to see how their dad is. They're not in each others pockets normally but to communicate on a weekly basis, they don't live local to us.
I'm tempted to contact them and suggest that they give their dad a call but don't know if I would be seen as interfering, after all everyone here is adult. I'm concerned for my husband, he's devastated by the loss of his father but also so upset that he's not heard from his children.
Advice please... What should I do?
I'm sorry, both for your
I'm sorry, both for your loss and your husband's predicament- but I would advise you not to interfere. If DH has contacted them then what would you doing so change?
Although it seems hard for your DH this is his call to handle and although it isn't easy to stand aside then you can support your DH in your own way and grief is a very personal thing- if you really can't avoiding contacting them then clear it with him first- don't do it behind his back.
I agree with fairyo. This is
I agree with fairyo. This is DH's problem - you just support him in his grief and let him deal with his kids.
If you want to be subtle...
Is there a third party you can call like his sibling that you are friendly with or a cousin. Someone else from the family that you can tell how sad your DH is. Do not mention the skids failure to call, just say how sad dh is and he could use someone to reminisce with.
I am sorry for your family's
I am sorry for your family's loss. I know it's hard watching your husband go through this, but you contacting his kids is not going to make a difference, except for maybe resentment on their part. Support your DH the best that you can in other ways.
No because they have they
No because they have they were notified by their dad. I doubt your husband is surprised by their behavior.
My condolences to your DH on
My condolences to your DH on the loss of his dad.
He notified his kids. Their cruelty is on them.
I would let it go and just be there for your DH.
I agree leave it alone
It obviously wasn’t important enough to the adult stepkids and they obviously couldn’t care one bit that their grandfather has died and can’t show any respect to their dad and pay a visit or even call back to talk about things like people normally would.
accept that stepkids rarely ever behave in a normal manner, lack basic manners and etiquette so why should you go out of your way to tell the stepkids? They have to accept responsibility for their behaviour and actions and them not or potentially never responding to their dad to say i’m sorry to hear granddaddy died will likely make hubby resent them and be disappointed but thats on them.