SD raped by Stepfather, Stepmother needs advice to help SD cope with mental issues after...
Hi everyone,
I have recently found that my SD age 11 was raped by her mothers husband.
The good news is the man is recently behind bars for a drug offense, and this will be his 3rd strike for felony drug convictions.
Its unlikely that he will be out of jail anytime soon.
My SD has been showing signs of mental disturbance, she is having a hard time getting past this. She has started being aggresive towards her Bio-Mother, and showing lack of interest in all of her former habits/hobbies.
Her mother is playing the card that "its not her fault this happened, dont blame me!" Ostrich head in the sand approach. I have not expressed my feelings to her at this point, although I would really wish too. When I found out this man she married not even 6 months after they met was a twice convicted felon I died a little inside. Knowing what those people go through in federal prision its hard to imagine that they ever truely "clean up" and go back to normal society. This man ended up being no exception. He was a scumball from minute one, and after they seperated and the truth came out, Im so sad I didnt tell her we wanted custody of the kids from minute one.
Now that its all said and done, and there is no fixing the situation, as her step-mother, I want to step up to the plate and try to help my SD regain a sense of normalcy in her life. I want her to realize that her mother made bad choices, but from this point forward she in no way has to pay for her mothers choice in life. She can move on and live a healthy happy life. Fighting for custody for her is a possibility, and we live 1 1/2 hours from her this point, so she would easily be able to escape that life and start fresh. And im not sure if her mother would fight it after all, she is already trying to have her put into a juvenile facility because of her agression. Quite frankly my SD just wants to get away from her mom and that terrible situation, could you blame her?
Any suggestions and comments would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks all!
Get custody if your husband
Get custody if your husband is willing. Get your step-daughter into counseling immediately. She will not "get over this" ever - but she can get help coping with it.
Get her out now, you could
Get her out now, you could probably get an emergancy order to take her out of her mothers care if all this went on under her very nose. Women like that it, well lets just say it won't be to long before she moves on to the next loser and puts her daughter in more danger. Your husband needs to step up and relize that her mother is not a fit caregiver and he needs to get custody for the future of his child.
I'm sorry I'm commenting so
I'm sorry I'm commenting so late on this but I feel compelled to comment anyway.
That child belongs with her dad. BM let grown men molest my SDs. Have the police been notified? Dig deep into this guy. There are several websites where you (or DH) can go and look up information on him, including his criminal rap sheet. Print off every piece of information you find about him and have DH do the same. Has SD been to a doctor about this?
Please call the police ASAP and talk with them about this. Give them all of the documentation you and DH have on this creep. They will know the the legal steps you can take towards getting SD out of that he11hole.
This is VERY VERY serious and
This is VERY VERY serious and depending how you go with it, things could even worse so be incredibly careful. First, do not point to your stepdaughter how her mother wronged her. I think bio mom has made some bad choices but if you start inplanting thoughts into a child's head that their bio did them wrong that can turn on your very quickly.
Has this been reported to Child Protective Services? Somehow this child needs to never have contact with this man ever. I would suggest pressing charges but limiting how much exposure SD has to all the surrounding info in the case.
Probably the biggest help you could do is get this girl some counseling.
Are you comfortable with bio mom that the two of you could talk? She needs help too to get her family on the right track.
I have been down this road with a situation concerning my daughter, charges were pressed and then things unraveled. Went thru another situation within family and that turned into a HUGE HUGE mess. I didn't handle the news well and it was very hard for me emotionally to deal. That's why i say you have to be incredibly careful and think all of this thru so SD gets the least amount of trauma, bio mom gets the help she needs, and SD is protected from this individual. I do hope bio mom has common sense and is starting divorce proceedings. Don't be surprised if she is not thought, all this gets quite confusing, denial becomes huge, then blame is normally placed where it should not be.....all typical.