SD the problem child! Help?!
My little SD7 is becoming a major problem child. She is absolutely gorgeous and adorable, silly and fun and I like the kid quite a bit under normal circumstances. But lately... she is just fresh! I just want to get some feedback on the way she acts to see what others think. This behavior is somewhat new and out of nowhere. I am not a mom to any bios so I am not sure what to make of her outbursts.
First of all, she is BM's favorite. This is very clear and SS9 knows it as well. She is very spoiled.
She adores me but at the same time she pushes my buttons and it seems like it is more then just testing boundaries now. Some examples: One time we were painting and she got up and swiped her paint brush on my shirt intentionally. I said why would you stain my clothes? She just shrugged. Another time she was in the bathtub and she screamed "get in here or I will hate you." I walked in and said "excuse me? You don't speak like that to me." She shrugged again. The other night I walked out of the room to get popcorn for our movie night and she got up and poured my glass of wine out into the sink. Once again, no answer as to why. DH shouted at her for that one. I have witnessed her draw on our dining room table with marker when she thinks we are not looking. She repeatedly picks the lock to the bathroom and walks in when I tell her I need privacy. She is basically becoming out of control. DH will address it, she will go to her room but then she starts it right back up. Once while in her room on punishment she took a spray bottle of sunscreen and sprayed everything in the room.
I also found notes she wrote BM recently. One said "I love you mom, now will you please love yourself?" SD has been venting to me about how BM's boyfriend is mean and him and BM swear at each other a lot. Maybe the crap going on at home with BM is making her act out. I don't know.
Anyway, we have the skids Tuesday and then all weekend and I would like to be prepared to better handle this bratty behavior. DH is 3rd shift so I can avoid the skids until about 7:00 and then I am forced to interact.
Not sure what an appropriate
Not sure what an appropriate punishment is? DH sends her to her room but that is useless. His height and deep voice kind of scare her into submission. I am child sized myself so I don't have as much presence lol.
SS is always on his ipod so we know how to punish him -- take that away. SD is not on electronics much. hmm...
I was trying to ignore the
I was trying to ignore the behavior and act like she wasn't there. It seemed to work at first but not anymore...
Thank you for the examples.
Thank you for the examples. I am prepared to stop allowing this child to walk all over me. It is getting old. DH does need to stop the half-assed parenting because this will only get worse.
Also I like the
Also I like the reward/punishment and offering of a choice. SD likes making choices (i.e. choosing which stuffed animal to sleep with. Or I give her a choice of 3 outfits, etc.)
20 minutes of games on the iphone would be a good reward for her. Punishment I suppose taking away privileges like swim time or library time. I will try this method when I am alone with them and talk to DH about using it too.
Obviously words have no
Obviously words have no significance to her. Add a swat to her bare ass when you correct this crappy behavior. That ought to get the point more firmly and effectively across.
If she does something like
If she does something like wipe a paint brush on your shirt, the painting stops immediately and painting stuff gets put away for a while. If she acts up at movie night, the movie stops. Writes in the table? Take markers away for a while. No words or lectures needed. Just stop the activity. These are natural consequences nobody can argue with. Hopefully she will learn not to do that stuff with you because the fun activities stop when she does.
Put a hook and eye lock on the inside if your bathroom door.