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Resent Stepdaughter because of Child Support and PsychoPath X girlfriend

menmyboys's picture

}:)
Hey..I am new to this site, but i just ran across these forums and thought I should post. Here is my story..

My husband has a 4 yr old brat. I believe that she is developmentally slow because clearly her mother does not talk to her. All she ever responds is" No. Because I said so"....She is like really slow....Anyway, I have a 4 yr old son from a previous relationsip and we have a 1 yr old together. My husband became unemployed last march, and the court system left the child support at $200.00 per week while he was only recieving $366 per week. Mind you this is a man who ended up with a kid out of a one night stand and always paid her between $200 and $275 willingly in child support. I hate it.

I feel like I resent my stepdaughter because her mother is a gold digging B*tch and she tells her all sorts of crap. I think what bugs me more is that his daghter comes over to our house and everytime I go shopping for my kids, we have to pick something up for her. What the heck...She does not live with us. I am not swiping my debit card for her while he is paying that twirp $200 per week in child support. Am I wrong? I mean really, I make enough to support my family, and all he can do is support that household. Finally we have a lawyer and he is going for a decrease in May....but geesh...He wants her to feel so equal which makes sense, but come on...Also, whenever his daughter is over, he wants to take "the kdis" out, and go here and there. How the hell can he spend money when she is here and when my son is here without her, he doesnt want to do anything with him, and my son admires him. We see this little girl every other weekend. My husband works the WHOLE weekend and leaves her home with me, my 4 yr old, and my 1 yr old. Come on!!!She is a brat. She does not listen AT ALL!!!her teeth are rotted. she has like 16 fillings out of 20 teeth and she had a temper tantrum in the store because i refused to giver her a donut for breakfast!!What the heck??

Here is what I offered my husband: 1. He can get a night time job maybe doing security regardless of what the pay is...He can stay home with our son during the day, and ask for weekday visitation in court and have the ability to transport his daughter to and from school and really spend quality time with her, and I can save money on daycare!!So even though he will still pay child support, he can help me save...(oh and we have one on the way).....I thought this was reasonable!!Instead of him having his daughter every other weekend when he works Fridays until 6 pm, Saturdays from 8 to 6 and sundays from 10 to 3.....why doesnt he try EVERY tuesday and Thursday overnight and every other Sunday!!I think that is fair!!!2. We can get divorced and I can handle my kids on my own.....I feel like I am settling being with him. I told my husband that he needs to figure out how to contribute to our household and support his kid. Why is it that I am stuck paying for everything???

I want a divorce, because he has not been looking for a night job, and he still has me watching his kid...what the heck did he go for visitation for.she is nt my kid.

alwaysanxious's picture

How frustrating for you!! His child is not your financial obligation. It is his. I agree with you, he needs to get a job, pay his end of the bills and for HIS child. No more money should come from you.

I rarely shell out anything when skids are here, but IF I do I tell SO how much it was and he hands it over.

Jsmom's picture

I pay for nothing for the stepkids. If I pay for something DH coughs it up when he comes home. They are not my kids. As for paying CS, he can pay for some extras only if he can afford them. He needs to get a job, that is where your frustration is. Why in the hell is she in Daycare if he is home????

uncommon's picture

Um, a 4 year old with 16 fillings??? That's insane. Your husband sounds useless. Sorry.

Whateva's picture

I feel for you and relate to your situation. I personally would not keep the child while he is away as frequently as you do. It is up to him to make arrangements to attend to HIS child.
In terms of resentment, as mature as we are all suppose to be it is hard to not resent the children in these blended situations especially when the BM is a greedy, self righteous Witch (in my case) and when you factor in ill behaved, age inappropriate behavior of her offspring,,,then you cant help but resent the kids a little.

Good Luck and stop paying for Step kids make your guy responsible for his baggage.

Totalybogus's picture

No you are not wrong.Until he gets work, he is going to have to forego any extras for his daughter. Afterall, he still has an obligation to you and your family as well. If he were still with the girl's mother and unemployed, he certainly wouldn't be buying extras or spending needlessly on her entertainment. He needs to get his head out of his ass.