Relationship topic
Not sure if I should post to this site but usually people have some good advice. My partner is usually quite loving and quite sarcastic usually it doesn't bother me that much but since he came home today he's just been off. Everything I have said has been met with sarcasm or a look of distain. I asked what I had done etc but got "nothing" we were sat watching a programme and when the episode finished he just got up and walked out of the room. I asked are you going to bed? He said obviously. I don't need to tell you where I'm going all the time. I might be overly sensitive and please tell me if I am but if I'm spending time with someone I would say right I'm off to bed or if I was at a friends ok I'm going home now rather than just getting up and leaving. This is after being snarky all night. When I said can you please stop being nasty to me. I got I'm being sarcastic can't you take a joke? He told me I pissed him off by being upset and he walked off while I was still speaking. I don't really know what to do now. I know he will have been asleep within minutes but I will be up all night thinking about it. Does anyone have any experience with this? Am I being overly sensitive? His reaction to me trying to speak to him about it is upsetting me way more than the actual sarcasm. Tia.
He sounds like a pleasure to
He sounds like a pleasure to live with. (That’s sarcasm, which you get plenty of, apparently). When does the “quite loving” part kick in?
"If you have a problem let's
"If you have a problem let's handle it like adults instead of you acting like a moody teenager."
People who act like that WANT you to feel bad. They want their problem to become yours. By acting like this they bait you into either begging or trying to please them to improve their mood or they want you to lose their cool so you're the bad guy. A person who acts this way does not actually want to solve the problem, they would rather emotionally manipulate you. Their problem is simply they don't have enough control over you and doing this crap is a way to regain control. It worked right? This is called attention seeking behavior and it's something you learn as a child. He obviously has not matured past acting out to get attention.
Nope, he is an asshole and
Nope, he is an asshole and you are not being overly sensitive.
I get someone having a bad day but being a dick to your partner is never appropriate.
I would consider just writing him off and moving on. There is no need or reason to saddle yourself with someone who would treat you this way.... even once.
Take care of you.
hes being very moddy and
hes being very moddy and immature. If there is a problem ,,, talk about it like adults. I was with a man for 8years,, he wasnt sarcastic but was extremely moody,, and the insulting part was it was never about anything to do with me ,, i just copped the brunt of his shit day with shit attitude and then had to deal with his shit brat. it never got better as he could never communicate with me like adults, he would just sook and be moody then go out drinking with mates and not turn up till 6am. clear to say im not with him anymore
Please don't allow yourself
Please don't allow yourself to be treated this way - it is abusive and he will not get any better. My exH acted exactly the same way a lot of the time - eventually I got my act together and left him but it took me ages (24 years!) to accept that I deserved better treatment than what I was getting from him.
"You can't take a joke" is
"You can't take a joke" is classic gaslighting and emotional abuse. Passive agressive behavior is never funny.
My ex did this, and I made the mistake of running after him to make him feel better.
One good approach is to just tell him to knock it off and if he wants to discuss the situation in an adult manner, you'd like to do that. And then go on about your business and make sure he sees you moving on with peace and joy in your step. Fretting about this is exactly what he wants, and you need to stop giving him the attention.
Gee, did he have a bad day at
Gee, did he have a bad day at work or does he treat you like this often?
Like others have said, tell him to grown up and act like an adult.
sounds like my ex-H
It is hard to tell from your post if this is a somewhat isolated incident. It obviously bothers you quite a bit. I can tell you from experience that it is much more pleasant to be with a man who does not act moody and pissy. I really cannot imagine how I put up with my ex-H for almost 20 years because he was exactly like that (other than he travelled a lot for work and we lived parallel lives). DH is nothing like that. Yes everyone has a bad day sometimes definitely including me, but gaslighting/verbal abuse/general childish pissiness are never ok. Call him out on his behavior and tell him you will not put up with it.